I remembered my first time vividly. I think all girls do, probably boys as well. In a way it was a moment of weakness for me, or it might have been some deep need asserting itself.
It was late summer and I'd gone to the party of school friend when it happened. I'd quietly turned eighteen a couple of months earlier making no fuss, but for Charlotte, Charlie, it was a far more exciting affair. A big party at her parents house while they were away.
Charlie's parents trusted her and had given permission for their home to be invaded by a gang of about thirty teenagers. We were respectful people and there was little danger of the house being trashed by one of those Facebook style invasions you sometimes hear about.
But what it lacked in outrageous behaviour it made up for in hormones. The girls exposing as much flesh as they dare and boys, young men, slavishly in awe of them. Each intent on attracting the other, each hoping to slip off to a private room with their prize.
In Australia there is a group of birds called the Birds-of-Paradise. They have one of the most elaborate courtship rituals of any. Just like my school friends they dance to display their vigour and health. Feathers and song replacing designer clothes and Tensnake on the Bose sound system, but much was the same.
Charlie was with her boyfriend tucked away in a corner even before I arrived. She was sat across Robs lap, arms around his neck while his hand disappeared beneath what little there was of her dress.
I expected them to disappear upstairs well before things quietened down later. Just the thought that she was getting some while I remained a virgin sent a quiver of envy through me.
It was my own fault I was single. I was usually the nerdy one, always studying. I didn't do clubbing or hanging out too well so the boys mostly passed me by. I was also happy in baggy denims and tops that hid my figure.
Tonight however I had made an effort. I looked good in the short black dress. Not the slimmest girl, but not fat. I was more what you would call curvy. Wide hips, shapely legs and what I knew was a great pair of tits. I knew boys eyed me when they thought I wasn't looking even if they didn't ask me out. I couldn't hide my pretty face and occasionally their eyes did raise above legs and tits to notice. I didn't ever encourage them though so they moved on to easier, more receptive targets.
I wasn't shy, and I certainly had a healthy appetite for sex. My browsing history and the little plaything hidden in my bedside drawer could testify to that. It was just that I'd never found the time for all the games involved in dating. Courtship rituals to me were something for peacocks and mockingbirds. To me it seemed it would be simpler if we were all just honest, said what we wanted and did it.
Even here I stood with a drink just watching the others engage in the elaborate mating dance of the Common Teenager. Girls who'd spent hours preening themselves, boys keen to appear masculine and viral. Dancing, drinking, testing touches and lots of forces laughter at poor jokes. Such a lot of work just to get off.
It occurred to me that perhaps this really wasn't the place for me. I wasn't a party girl, but I did finally want something party girls could get with far more ease than a bookworm like me. It certainly wasn't a conscious decision but looking back I had gone there with just one aim. I'd wanted fucking. Or at least set myself on the road to it.
I hadn't even had anyone particular in mind. Just that he was pleasant and would do the deed without my having to spend days and weeks emulating the Birds-of-Paradise.
I remember seeing the one not long after the sun went down. I saw him looking at me. His name was Josh and he looked hot. Hotter than in school. Not for the first time I glanced over his body and surmised what he would be like to kiss. I gave him a smile and hoped he'd come over. He did.
My skin tingled with electricity as he stood beside me and my heart raced as though I'd jogged ten miles.
"Tina. Hi."
"Josh.
Enjoying the party?"
"Lots of drink, pretty girls, what's not to like."
He took a swig from the beer bottle in his hand and stood just studying me.
It started to unnerve me and I broke into a nervous laugh.
"What?"
"Damn girl. You look hot."
I giggled like a school girl and blushed.
"You think so?"
"Hell yeah. Look at you. Best legs in the room."
"What about Karen over there?" I gestured towards the tall blonde in heels pouring herself a drink. She had the look of a catwalk model and slender legs that went on forever. They were the envy of the school and I didn't doubt for one minute they'd been wrapped around more than one of my classmates.
Josh didn't even look.
"Nah. They're just twigs on a stick. Much prefer someone with shape."
He shrugged.
"All them bones sticking in you when you're laying on top.
Must be uncomfortable."
I laughed.
"And do you want to lay on me?
I'm softer."
"That an offer?"
"Maybe."
Josh leant in and kissed me on the lips. A gentle brush before lingering as I responded. My body tingled and cried out to be caressed. This was how it should be. No coy mating dance. No having to think of something to say and worrying it might be wrong. Just hook up and be damned.
