Blonde Bimbo

This story is almost too wild to believe, but its true. My position at work requires that I routinely get U.A.'s from employees. (Pee tests as they call them) I have never liked that part of my job, but company policy dictates it be done. I have complete control over where I go and when I go. And I travel around to a degree. I am in and out and on to another location. A few months ago I was given an assistant. Primarily she was hired as a secretary to help me keep the paperwork updated. Her name is Gloria and it seems for most of her life she has been a housewife. She never really got into the job market because she stayed home and took care of her husbands needs. When she finally got bored doing this, she went to one of those secretarial schools and learned enough to get the job with me.

Gloria is a knock out. I think I know why her husband did not want her out in the real world. She is about 5 foot 4 inches tall and actually kind of thin. What she lacks in the boob department she more than makes up for in the ass and leg department. I swear those legs of hers go all the way up to her ass. The first time I saw her she sheepishly knocked on my home office door and it was all I could do to maintain a business like demeanor when she handed me her placement papers. Even though her tits are on the small side, they are perfect in every other way. This particular day she was wearing one of those scooped neck dress outfits. The length of the dress really set her legs off nicely. And when she bent over my desk to sign some papers I could see into the cups of her bra clear to her hard nipples. I am talking instant hard on. Her tits were perfect. Gloria is 36 years old, but in reality she resembles a school girl. She has maintained her age very well. She has moderately long blond hair and big kissable lips. I remember that first day I could hardly keep my eyes off her.

As I began to learn more about Gloria I discovered that her husband had finally relented and allowed her to seek a job only after she threw a big enough temper tantrum. It turns out that in reality he never thought she would ever get a job anyway. He was surprised when she did. She said he underestimated her ability. I learned the reason he never thought she would get a job was based on her hair color. As you recall, I mentioned Gloria was blond. A true blond. In every sense of the word, a true blond. While she was an ace on the typewriter, I quickly learned that Gloria was an air head in every sense of the word. I had hours and hours of fun with her. Not only was she naïve and gullible, she rarely ever caught on to many of my pranks I played on her. Every other guy in my division was envious I had been blessed with such a knock out secretary so I once sent her from office to office asking for a small can of relative bearing grease. ( for those of you ex navy guys, you know that a relative bearing is a heading or direction on a ship.) Gloria still thinks somewhere out there is a can of grease for relative bearings. It did give me a chance to show her off to the other guys. She went office to office for most of the day.

After some time with her I decided to put her to the test. I recall how shocked she was when she learned she had been recording and filing lab results from urine tests. ( that was after I told her that urine was in fact, "pee") If she ever covered that in school, she must have slept that day in class she laughingly explained. She had been very inquisitive how I took the samples. I explained to her that I had to verify where the sample came from and that some employees actually smuggled in clean drug free urine in containers and dumped them in the sample bottle. In order to make sure that did not happen I had to hold the guys cock and direct the stream into the cup. "Ewwwww," she said. I hope I never have to take any samples. "Well, you will," I told her. As soon as the fiscal year ends I expected her training to commence and she would have to learn how to draw the samples. "You mean I have to hold their things?" She exclaimed. "How else are you gonna know and be able to verify the sample was from them", I asked? "Couldn't I just watch" she asked? I told her some of the guys got very creative and that I had seen guys actually run surgical tubing down the bottom side of their Penis so it looked like they were actually peeing the normal way. "Nope" I said, "I am afraid the only way is for you to actually hold the penis and direct the stream into the cup." I went on to explain that when the cup was full enough she had to pinch it off like a hose and sit the cup out of the way then direct the remainder into the toilet. "Don't worry, you will get the hang of it as soon as your training starts" I told her. She took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, I am not looking forward to that part of my job" she said. "One other thing," I cautioned her. "No one knows exactly how we get these samples. If they learned our techniques, I am sure they would figure some way to cheat on their tests. So it is important you never tell anyone, not even your husband, how we do our jobs." I embellished a little by telling her that technically I could be in big trouble by even telling her what I had so far. I went on to tell her that until she had been cleared by the big guys upstairs she was not allowed to do any of this or even know how I did it. "When will I be cleared?" she asked. "I am not sure. Sometimes the process takes some time."

I began to get excited with my scheme and the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. I had made all kinds of subtle moves on Gloria since she had started, but always met the brick wall. Maybe I should say the blond wall. She was basically dense. Good at her job and a fucking knockout. But Dense as they come. And besides, she went on and on about her husband, and how much she liked to please him and this and that. Shit, I found myself thinking to myself, a fucking babe like this and getting no where fast with her. But, all that was before I hit on my plan to get her to do all kinds of stuff under the guise of it being part of her job. The more I thought about it, the wilder it seemed. But it was working like a charm, Gloria was sworn to secrecy and desperately wanted to keep her job and prove to her husband she could do it.

A few days later I told Gloria that I was proud of her. I went on to tell her that her clearance had just come down from upstairs and that I had never seen a clearance get approved that quickly. She was excited and a bit apprehensive all at the same time. Excited because she had been approved, and apprehensive because now she could take samples. She nervously asked me if this meant she would be taking samples now? Not until you pass your training I explained. I told her that I would be conducting her training program and that could take some time depending on how quickly she learned the techniques. I told her she could watch me later in the day and I would run through the procedure with her and that would basically begin her training period. I told her that I had to sign off on her abilities before I actually let her draw any of the samples. "Until then, you will be in training" I said.

I dug out some of the department medical books to make it look more realistic. Later that day after I had drank enough coffee to float a battleship I called her into my office. Needless to say, I was nervous as hell and excited all at the same time. I had gone over this in my head most of the morning so I was prepared to make it all look clinical. I had Gloria sit by my side and I opened one of the books to the full color pages that showed the human anatomy. "Are you familiar with the male penis" I asked? "Ahh, ya." She hesitantly responded. "Well, I do have a husband" she said. "Is his the only one you have seen" I asked? "Well, ahhh," she stammered, "I did have a boyfriend before I got married and I saw his a couple of times." I told her that was all ok, and that I was just running through the training from the top. I explained that I had to make sure she knew what she would be doing. "Oh, I understand" she quickly responded. I went on to explain that when a man was urinating if the penis was pinched around the middle, the flow would stop and then you could redirect the flow where ever you point the penis. "That will be important for you to remember" I told her. "I remember the first couple of cocks I handled, errrr excuse me for saying cocks," I inserted, "but I get tired of calling them penises. Anyway, I did not pinch them off good enough and ended up having piss flying all over the place" I laughed as I told her that. Her blondness never ceases to amaze me. She bought it hook line and sinker. "Well, what did you do" she asked excitedly. "Got wet" I told her. She laughed at that.

Finally I finished my preparatory phase and told her that the next portion would be for her to watch me basically take a sample from myself and in the process I would explain what it was I was doing. I was crossing my fingers hoping I would not have too rigid a hard on when I got into this part of the teaching. Gloria drew a deep breath and sighed. "Ok, she said in a resigned fashion, I guess that would be the best way to learn the technique." I had to keep pinching myself. This was too good to be true. Nobody could possibly be this fucking gullible I kept thinking. But Gloria was proving me wrong. She had even began taking notes. I made sure to tell her those notes could never leave her locked desk and that when she had memorized all the information they had to be destroyed. Oh, she assured me she understood perfectly. I was relieved to learn she had accepted the necessity of utmost secrecy in all we did. It could cost this company millions if our techniques got out I was telling her as we headed into my bathroom.

I set the sample kit on the countertop in the bathroom and told her that I would act as if I was talking to the test subject. "Please unzip your pants" I said to myself. I moved her around to my side and told her to watch everything I did and to make sure she paid attention. I noticed she had written on her note pad the words, "Please unzip your pants". I nearly burst out laughing. "Would you extract the penis" I said. Gloria quickly wrote this phrase down. I pulled my cock out and was relieved to see it still somewhat flaccid. I knew that was from embarrassment. I was not in the habit of taking a piss with a beautiful girl watching me and taking notes. "Now watch how I hold the cock" I told her, now determined to use the word cock every once in a while to get her used to hearing it from me. By speaking about my cock as if it belonged to someone else made the whole process easier. I slipped my fingers around my cock and put my thumb on the top of it. "Notice how I am holding the cock" I said. "In this way, when the cup is full, I can pinch it with my fingers on the bottom and my thumb on the top like this", I squeezed. "Now with your other hand, you hold take the cup and actually put the end of the penis into it just a little bit. If you put the cock too far into the cup, you may find yourself getting splashed by the force of the pee coming out". I placed my cock head just into the cup. Now I will show you how this works. I noticed Gloria had paused taking notes and was leaning over staring at my cock. This caused my cock to twitch to say the least. She had bent down and was about two feet from my cock. She did not want to miss any of her instruction. Realizing that if I got a hard on just yet, it would be hard to complete this session I started to pee into the cup. She was not aware that a guy can adjust the flow by "clenching up", but I did and the cup began to fill. "Now watch as I stop the flow by pinching it off" I said. I pinched my cock and the flow stopped. "Wow, it works" she said. I continued, "and when I release the pinch, the piss started to fill the cup again." I pinched it off and held it stopped. "Ok, the best way to learn is by doing it" I said with a slight quiver in my voice. "I have not peed all I have to pee, so why don't you take over and we will see how you handle it. Don't be nervous and we will have many more practice sessions, so you will get the hang of it." She stared and finally spoke, "are you sure I am ready so soon"? she asked. "This will just be a quick run through for the first time. I know you are not ready to go solo yet, but believe me, by doing it this way, it is the only way to overcome the first time jitters." I said. "Besides, we were all nervous with our first one" I laughed. "Just move in as close as you need to be" I told her. "Reach down and hold the penis for a while to get used to it. Believe me, after you have done this as much as I have, it will get to be second nature." Gloria slowly began to extend her hand toward my cock. I was starting to sweat bullets because my cock was starting to twitch and I was not sure I could keep from getting a raging hard on when I finally felt her hand on it. I was thinking of everything under the sun to keep my mind off of what was going on. He fingers went under my cock and she slowly raised them up until my cock was resting on her fingertips. Her touch was a light as a butterfly. I urged her on, "go ahead and don't be afraid of it. This is the time to make mistakes if you are going to make any. Believe me, when you start doing these to the employees, you will have to be very sure of yourself and not be hesitant." Gloria's thumb came to rest on the top of my cock. Her grip began to tighten on it and I felt myself start to harden. Fuck, I thought to myself. My mind raced. "Ahhh," I stammered. You might, ahh, notice the penis getting a little rigid," I struggled to sound as clinical as possible. "I know I don't have to remind you that you are a girl and I am a guy. That reaction is perfectly normal, and nothing to worry about." I quickly added, "we will cover the chapters on male erections and how to take samples from them later on".

I chuckled to myself, amazed at how all this was falling into place. "Get a good grip on the cock" I told her. "I will pee into the cup and then I want you to try the pinch technique to stop the flow. Don't worry, I will tell you if you are pinching too hard or not hard enough." I felt her hand circle my cock and it got harder. I began to pee into the cup and told her to pinch it off. Her hand squeezed my cock. "Harder," I said. She squeezed my cock hard, and I stopped peeing. "Ok, very good." I said. "Now dump that urine in the toilet and repeat the process." She dumped the cup in the toilet and repositioned it beneath my cock. "Put the head of the cock just inside the rim of the cup" I said. She slid it in and I began to pee again. "I can't believe how warm the pee is, she said. And I can feel the pee coming through your penis," She added. "It does feel like this is getting harder too" she said, referring to my cock. "Perfectly normal" I quickly exclaimed. Now pinch or squeeze it off again.

By now my cock was no where near flaccid and was in fact more erect than not. Gloria's small hand barely circled my cock enough to squeeze. I have always prided myself on having a thick cock, even though I had always wished it was longer than its 7 inches. ( I grew up saying it's the penmanship, not the pen.) When she had squeezed my cock hard enough I stopped the flow again. "Now go ahead and pour the piss into the toilet and then direct the remaining pee into the toilet. Gloria held my cock while I continued pissing into the toilet. I had been curious to see if she would do this, or ask me to take over. I again attributed this to her amazing blondness that she held my cock as I continued peeing into the toilet.

When I was finishing, and the last little bit was coming out, I told her she could go ahead and shake it up and down to get it all out. As if it was part of her class she began shaking my cock over the toilet. Her shaking put me over the top and my cock grew to its full size. "Wow she exclaimed, it is really getting hard now." "That will happen, I said. It happens to me every once in a while too. "Your kidding me" she said. "Well, we do have some gay employees here you know." She accepted that explanation. Her last few shakes amounted to little more than jacking me off, although I am sure she thought she was shaking it. "Make sure you shake it well, I said. To get all the remaining urine out." No sooner did I say this, than I noticed precum coming out of my cock. Not wanting to press my luck too far this first time, I finally told her to go ahead and wipe the head off and that would complete the class. Again, I underestimated Gloria's blondness and was pleasantly surprised when using her bare hand, she wiped the head of my cock off. Of course she ended up with a glob of precum on her hand. I fully expected her to question why she had to wipe it off since she would have had her sample by then, or at least that she would have used toilet paper. But she did neither. I painfully tucked my exceptionally hard cock back into my pants and told her to go have a seat at my desk while I finished up in the bathroom.

I debated about jacking off to relieve myself, but decided I could maybe come up with a good use for a good load of cum later in Gloria's training program. I knew I was sitting on a gold mine here. My mind was racing with all the possibilities. I figured if I played my cards right I could keep this going indefinitely and have a blast in the process. I came back into my office and told Gloria that she had done exceptionally well for her first time. She actually beamed with pride. I told her that I had trained my share of guys and girls but that she had a real knack for the process and I thought in no time I would feel confident enough of her progress to let her try a solo test. During all of my explanation I was struck with Gloria's rapt attention to what I was saying. It was as if she was taking part in a lecture at some college class.

The next day I told Gloria that I wanted her to review her notes and I would let her take me and treat me as if I were a regular subject and go ahead and draw the test. Her eyes widened and she took a deep breath before asking if I was sure she was ready for that. I told her to do the best she could and I would critique her as we went along. "Don't worry" I assured her, "the best way to learn is by doing it. I gave her the test kit and the paper work and told her to go outside and knock at the office door, then come in and identify herself and tell me that she was there for an on the spot urinalysis. I told her to refer to her notes anytime she needed and to fill out all the paperwork from the top to the bottom and when we were done we would go over her technique. She again drew a deep breath and sighed heavily. "Ok, I will do my best" she said as she gather the paperwork and the kit and exited my office.

I was beginning to wonder what was taking her so long to commence the project since she was in the hallway several minutes, and still had not knocked. Finally I heard a light knock. "Come in" I responded. She opened the door and entered meekly. I told her that she must command the situation and display confidence or the guys would know they had the upper hand. Another deep sigh, "I'm sorry I will try harder" she said. "You're doing fine, I reassured her, just take your time. "I am Gloria Carter from urinalysis and I am here to do an "on the spot urine test" on you" she said in the boldest voice she could muster. "Ok I said, what should I do"? "We will have to go into your bathroom" she stammered. As we walked into the bathroom she was busy reading her notes and almost ran into the door jamb. Once inside, she read from her notes. "Please unzip your pants" she said. I did as she ordered. "Now take your penis out" she said. I pulled my rapidly hardening cock out of my pants. "I notice you getting a little hard" she read from her notes, "don't worry, that is perfectly normal" she again read from her notes. I laughed to myself and was again amazed at how incredibly gullible she was. She had even written down my comments to her from yesterday. "Now what do I do" I questioned her with my now almost completely hard cock pointing straight at her. "Ahhhh, errrr, she stammered flipping through her notes and suddenly grabbing the test jar and dropping her notes into the sink in the process, Hang on a second" "I will now take the sample from your cock, errr penis." She reached over and grabbed my cock in one hand while holding her notes in the other. Then she stood there reading while she was holding my stiff cock. I finally spoke up, "Just relax Gloria, you are doing great." "Remember to command the situation. First off, have me face the toilet unless you want me to pee all over the floor." "Then remember to place my cock in the jar and remember the pinch method." "Oh ya, I know, I know, I got it, I got it now," she exclaimed. "I will now take a sample of pee from your penis" she ad libed. "Don't forget the jar" I mentioned as she stood holding my cock over the toilet. "Oops" she squealed. She grabbed the jar and then froze. "Your cock is sticking straight out. She said in puzzlement. How can I do this with your cock, err penis like that?" As she said this she was trying to hold the jar at an angle that would allow me to pee into it. As rigid as my cock was, the jar would have stayed on my cock without her holding it. She tried to push my cock down a couple of times but it was as stiff as a board. Everytime she pushed down on it, it got stiffer. It was literally pointing up. I was not helping matters any either.