The wife and I were spending a little bit of us time. I own a cabin out in the wilds (not too wild) and we were having a bit of a holiday, just the two of us. One of the benefits of this cabin was that it was only a fifteen minute walk to a lake and I'd negotiated a deal with the wife that I could go fished a couple of times. Another benefit was that there was some picturesque scenery and abundant wildlife which would allow Marge to do some photography.
These two benefits came together quite nicely as Marge didn't like fishing and she also didn't like me going along when she was shooting. (For some reason she reckons that I scare off all the wildlife.) This meant that when I went fishing she went shooting, in a photographic sense.
This particular day was one of the days I was going fishing. I'd had breakfast, gathered my stuff and headed out to the lake. Marge was just getting out of bed as I walked out the door. Five minutes down the track I had a clear vision of my lunch, sitting on the bench back at the cabin. A quick check of my bag and a rude word later I turned around to go and get it. I figured getting it now would be a damn sight faster than having to walk all the way back from the lake when I got hungry.
I could just see the cabin when I heard the sound of a bike coming down the track that ran past the cabin. Marge apparently heard it too as she stepped out of the cabin, looking down the track. She was still in her pyjamas, I noticed, apparently having been taking her time with breakfast and coffee.
Not really wanting to meet anyone and having to socialise I paused where I was, waiting to see who was coming. I was damned thankful that I'd waited when I say Bobby roll up on his crappy old bike. As far as I was concerned Bobby was a crude, loud-mouthed, bore, although Marge seemed to like him.
He stopped outside the cabin.
"Hey, Marge, is James around?" he yelled. (He always yelled, even when he was standing next to you. I suspect that he was slightly deaf.)
"Not right now, Bobby. He's gone fishing. Did you want him for something?"
"Silly bastard. Why'd he go fishing when I want him to give me a hand? No consideration I call it."
"Be reasonable, Bobby. He wasn't to know that you'd want him to give you a hand."
"He would if he had a damned phone," he grumbled.
"He does have one. So do I. What we don't have is service. For some reason this is a dead spot. Give him ten minutes and he'll have reached the lake and will be able to receive calls."
"Fat lot of good that will do. If he's fishing he'll just look to see who's calling and then ignore it. Nah, I'll have get Mike to help and he charges. Greedy for money, that man."
"And you're not?" I thought. "Trying to get free labour instead of paying for it."
"Them's the breaks," said Marge, sounding remarkably unsympathetic. "Ah, what do you think you're doing?"
The last was said with a giggle and the slapping of a hand against a hand. That son-of-a-bitch had pulled the neckline of Marge's top to the side, showing off a boob.
"Just looking," said Bobby. "I was betting that you had nothing under that top and I was partly right."
"What do you mean partly?" asked Marge.
"Well, I wouldn't call this nothing," explained Bobby, calmly pulling her top out again and poking the exposed boob. This is most definitely something. So's this one."
He'd switched sides, pulling out the other side of Marge's top and exposing the other boob, which he also poked.