Marlene was originally my sister's friend but as she grew up she tended to become what you might call a family friend. She was now twenty and independent. She had a good job and was currently renting a nice unit. When she dropped by one day to see me I was somewhat surprised because, as I said, she was more my sister's friend than mine. I got along quite well with her but we'd never dated or even come close to it. I'd always considered her a bit young. That opinion was formed when she was about ten and I was so much older at fifteen. It hadn't really shifted since, even though another ten years had passed.
I knew she was after something, I just didn't know what. I let her take her time and at last she broached the subject. She'd been having landlord problems. The landlord had dropped around several times, hitting on her, using his ownership of the property to lean on her a little. She'd politely told him she wasn't interested.
From that stance she moved on to tell him impolitely that she wasn't interested. When that had no effect she lodged a complaint with the estate agent she was renting through, asking them to warn the owner off.
The owner responded by giving her twenty eight day's notice to vacate the premises, on the grounds that he had a family member who wanted to move in. The estate agent was sympathetic and told her they were dropping that owner from their list as this wasn't the first time they'd had trouble with him. They were also very helpful in getting her into a new place.
The problem lay with the bond money for the new place. She had the first month's rent, no problems, but her bond money was still tied up in the old unit and she couldn't access it fast enough for the new rental. The estate agent had assured her there would be no trouble returning her bond as she was leaving the place in excellent condition.
Could I, pretty please, lend her a thousand dollars for a week or so while she waited for her bond money to be returned? She would repay me immediately she received her refund.
"What if you don't?" I asked.
"I will," she cried. "I swear I will."
The thousand dollars wasn't going to kill me. Truth to tell I could give it to her and not even miss it. I'd been doing really well with some of the games I wrote. I'm a software engineer and I'm good at it, making a mint. Still, I didn't want to seem like too soft a touch.
"OK, I'll go the thousand dollars but I do expect to have it paid back. When does your current lease expire?"
She gave me the date and I nodded.
"OK. The estate agent is supposed to return the bond within two weeks from termination of the lease. I'll give you a week on top of that to collect the bond, cash the cheque, and repay the loan."
She was all thank you, thank you, thank you.
"There is one tiny little detail," I told her.
She looked suspicious. "You want some interest?" she asked carefully.
"No. Just giving you a warning. If you don't repay by the nominated time I'll just naturally have to hunt you down and paddle your backside."
I smiled as I said it and she gave me a derisive look.
"As if," she scoffed. "You won't need to worry though. I'll repay promptly."
I sat down at my computer and transferred the thousand straight to her account and she departed, all smiles. I expected that she'd make an honest attempt to repay me but I wasn't sure she was wise to trust in the goodwill of an estate agent. I never knew of one who would willingly return a bond. Still, it wouldn't bother me if she didn't. Not that I'd actually spank her, my sister would object like crazy, but I certainly wouldn't be lending her additional funds in the future.
I received a phone call from Marlene a few weeks later. The estate agent had no problems with returning the bond. (That indicated to me that the agent really didn't like the owner.) She'd drop past Saturday afternoon to let me have the money, if that was OK by me.
That was certainly OK by me. I was always home if someone was coming to give me money. Saturday afternoon rolled around and Marlene rolled up.
As soon as I saw her I knew something had gone wrong. She was dressed in Daisy Dukes (very short Daisy Dukes) and a ragged t-shirt that covered her bust but not much else. She looked sensational. The only thing wrong was the last thing she was wearing; a nervous look.
"Um, my car broke down," she told me as soon as she was inside the house. "I had to call for road side assist. The battery had died. The mechanic said it happened when they got too old and pointed out my battery was ten years old. He said it had probably dies a couple of years ago and I'd been driving with a zombie battery, but the zombie had also given up. I had to pay for the mechanic and a new battery. Do you know what they charge for batteries? It's scandalous."
I sympathised. I did know what they charged. Paying for a mechanic and a battery I doubt she had any change from two fifty. I mentioned this figure to her.
"Close," she said with some disgust. "Two sixty, actually. Um, I had to use part of the bond money to pay him."
Somehow, that didn't surprise me. I just waited to see what sort of a solution she'd come up with.
"I have five hundred here," she said, fishing it out of her purse and handing to me. "I was sort of hoping that you could let me pay the rest of it back fortnightly out of my salary, at a hundred dollars a shot."
Leaving her with a couple of hundred that she could pay right now if I insisted. I didn't insist.
"That sounds fair and reasonable to me," I said. "Having your battery die wasn't something you could have foreseen so I guess I can make allowances."
She still looked a little nervous as though waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was puzzled for a moment and then I remembered the spanking threat.
"Oh, and you don't need to worry about a spanking," I said, letting her see I was laughing at her. "You've made an honest attempt to repay and the breakdown wasn't your fault."
