Mimi
I brushed my teeth and went to bed. Sunny was already under the duvet in his pajamas, reading a book. I lay beside him, once again hoping he would look at me, do something. There was no response at all. Fucking idiot...!
I turned away, closing my eyes.
The afternoon scene came to my mind. The handyman was fixing the drawer in my office at the hospital. I saw his arm and forearm muscles at work screwing and hammering. I had been fascinated and turned on with those bulging muscles. I imagined him picking me easily by my waist, pushing me against the wall, using his strong arms to grab my breasts roughly and squeezing them hard! My hand sneaked down my panties. My pussy was dripping wet! I gently dipped my finger in the wetness. Moving around, wetting my finger, I slid it out and lightly rubbed it over my hardened clit enjoying my fantasy.
I felt Sunny closing the book and switching off the light. He turned to the other side, the duvet slightly shifting towards him.
I was too turned on to resist myself. I rolled towards him, spooning him. I slipped my hand under his pajama top and moved to the front. He didn't resist or say anything. Slowly caressing his belly button area, I moved moved my hand inside his briefs to find him. His penis was limp! I slowly squeezed it and started massaging it.
"Come on Mimi, not today, I am tired". He moved my hand away.
I turned away in disgust. Damn Sunny, he's always tired. He's not a man! He can never satisfy me, I thought savagely! I wish I had fucked that handy man in the office!
Not far behind were my usual thoughts about Ash. I waited for 10 min and predictably Sunny was fast asleep. I slowly got out of the bed, slipping the duvet off me with care, not disturbing Sunny. The last drawer in my bed side cabinet had my bag that I needed desperately now. Unlocking the drawer, I grabbed it and quietly padded out of the bedroom, sneaking downstairs.
I lay down on the living room couch and opened the bag. I got the diary out and opened it, taking myself back to my internship days.
I was in the shower, when I felt someone step in the next cubicle. Stopping the flow of water, I started soaping myself. Suddenly I heard rhythmic slapping sounds from the next cubicle. I stopped moving and listened carefully. The sounds gradually picked up pace and then suddenly there was a groan, and the sounds stopped. The sound of shower started and I was suddenly aware of my rapidly beating heart. I quickly finished my shower, dried myself. I only put on my sleeping gown, thinking of wearing my bra and panties in the room. As I stepped out, the next cubicle door opened too. Ash stepped out only with a towel around his middle. He winked at me slyly, "Nice bod!" Giving a long look at my breasts, he rapidly turned and vanished around the corner. For a second I was puzzled, then it hit me. He was somehow watching me in the shower, and wanking. There didn't seem to be any other explanation for the slapping sounds and the groan!
For a few minutes I was incensed. As I reached the room fuming, I locked the door. Looking in the full-sized mirror I realised my nipple were poking through the gown front, making obvious the absence of a bra. No wonder Ash was staring at my chest.
As my heart hammered in my chest, I suddenly realised, I was actually feeling a little excited. I pulled off my gown and looked at myself critically. I must say I have good figure with medium sized breasts at 34B, firm and standing up nicely. The nipple, areolas are nice and brown, and to my surprise the nipples were hard without any stimulation. As I rubbed them, I felt a shiver of pleasure through me. Looking down at my pussy, I once again resolved to shave off the hair. The growth looked too much, hiding the pink pussy lips. I never liked body hair in general. Maybe next time before I get into the shower, I thought. I hope Ash sees me then and likes that. I suddenly realised that I was excited and my pussy was getting wet. My lips felt suddenly dry and I licked them slowly. My left hand moved down and found my wetness. I gently slipped my finger inside, slowly, moving it around. Fully aroused now, I flopped on the bed and started fingering myself earnestly. My right hand was busy moving from nipple to nipple and back, pinching and twirling them. Moving my fingers up I found my throbbing clit. As I gently caressed it, I started trembling. I imagined Ash standing in the shower, peeping at my naked body and wanking vigorously. I could see his fist pumping his hard cock, the head congested, red-purple. Then I imagined him kneeling between my legs ready to thrust in my dripping wet cunt. My fingers started moving rapidly over my clit now. I felt him grab my buttocks and take me violently, thrusting forcefully. As the rhythm quickened, I came with a shudder, hips raising, buttocks clenched. As I collapsed down on my bed, it took a while for my heart to settle down.
Damn that Ash! I keep fantasising about him despite his arrogant, annoying nature. He was so crude and leering at girls all the time. He did have a nice body though and I remembered his sinewy arms, and his toned chest and abdomen...especially his arms!
I was in the present again. My pussy was dripping wet, reading the earlier diary entries. I got the big penis shaped vibrator out. Sliding off my panties, I adjusted myself and opened legs apart. With no need for lubrication, I just shoved it hard in my pussy, moaning with the sudden penetration, the discomfort of the sudden stretch adding to my pleasure. I'd always liked the roughness of being fucked violently, something Sunny could never do. He was always so bloody gentle. Damn that man, he could never excite me the way Ash did. Thinking of Ash again I shoved the dildo harder and came quickly, my hips trembling with spent passion.
Sunny
Damn that woman! She's sex-crazed, and I'm never going to be good enough for her. And lately I can't seem to have any sexual feelings for her. In fact I don't remember having sex with her for over three months now! I can't live like this. I hate her, she's too violent. The memories of our first night together after marriage have always haunted me.
Mimi looked beautiful today in her wedding dress! I was so looking forward to our first night. I had a lot of things planned for it. I was going to read a love poem written by me and dedicate it to her. Then I would gently kiss her and embrace her. I would gently lead her to the bed and slowly undress her, appreciating her naked body, showering kisses on her all over. I was going to...well... do so many things. But then Mimi destroyed everything!
As our bridal suite door closed she pushed me to the bed and jumped on my body. Even as I was trying to slow her down, she quickly slipped out of her dress and inners, throwing them away. She knelt before me and went for my trousers, rubbing me hard from the outside. Before I was erect, she had pulled off my trousers and briefs. My penis was barely hardening. With an impatient snort and a look of disbelief, "You are not even ready and hard!" She exclaimed. She grabbed my penis and literally swallowed it in wholly, sucking at it rapidly. I could never imagine a cultured woman behaving so obscenely. But her ministrations did cause the necessary physical effect, and my penis hardened. She quickly straddled me and guiding my erection in her she started pumping. I was stunned beyond comprehension. She was harsh and violent in her movements. I had no chance to control my desire and before long I climaxed. She looked at me disappointed, "That was quick!" She rolled of me and started rubbing herself down below, which I now realised with a surprise was completely shaven. Staring at me she said, "Are you going to pleasure me or what?" Seeing her masturbate, I was quite put off and turned away from her. I felt so violated by her behaviour, I couldn't believe my wedding night was going. Soon I heard her panting hard, then her obscene moaning started and I presume she climaxed, given the violent moving of her body next to me.
I felt quite disheartened and deflated. It was a big blow to my self-esteem. The exhaustion of the day added to the toll and I fell asleep quickly.
Over the next few days though things did improve. Mimi quietened a bit and allowed me to take a bit more control over our love making. The only disconcerting thing for was her obscene, un-ladylike language during sex, when she got really excited, which often seemed to happen. I learned to shut her off and focus on doing things properly. I almost did all the things she demanded, although I did draw a line at anal sex. She seemed very disappointed when I was firm about it.
Coming back to the present - as I came awake, I realised Mimi was not next to me. Then I heard a low moan coming from downstairs. God...I thought, she is using her vibrator again! I am sure she thought I was dumb and didn't realise that she masturbated. Better that, than me try please her with sex. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I simply don't seem to have any sexual feelings left towards her!
I felt desperate and my confidence in myself had taken a big blow. I knew I was coming to a breaking point psychologically. Although my counselling and the testosterone injections seemed to be gradually making a change, the see-saw in my mood and confidence was still keeping me low. I felt glad that I had opened up to Eva.
Eva was my secretary at work. She was absolutely brilliant at her work. Sadly, despite her young age, she had been recently separated from her abusive partner and was undergoing counselling. We really got along together and after our paperwork in my office, we used to discuss a lot of non-work related issues. She was very frank with me and had told me about the abusive relationship, including details of violent sexual assaults by her partner. I was most horrified and sympathised with her, really surprised to find such trauma happening to such a beautiful girl. Especially someone who was so gentle and friendly.
One day, I was really depressed and she asked me what was bothering me. I didn't want to tell her my problems with Mimi. But having heard about her issues, I gradually opened out to her. I explained about the sexually violent person that Mimi was, how it turned me away from her.
"Oh, you poor thing," she immediately hugged me.
She gradually got out all details. I felt so comfortable with her, despite her being younger than me but so much wiser. Her empathy washed over me, overwhelming my fragile emotional state. I confessed about my inability to be aroused sexually due to this relationship. Given my young age, it was depressing me further, the whole thing turning into a vicious cycle.
Eva was very alarmed at my revelations and after thinking over the situation suggested counselling. Counselling had helped her to such an extent, that she was now back to her usual happy and bubbly state.
I had taken her advice, and booked some sessions. Eva was very disdainful towards Mimi and told me that she did not deserve nice man like me. I almost felt tears in my eyes. She felt there was definitely something going on with Mimi. She thought if I could find out then perhaps it could help me resolve some of my own issues.
I kept comparing Eva to Mimi, and overcame with guilt as I realised the tender feelings I had started having for Eva. I tried to rationalise it as natural, given Mimi's rough personality as opposed to Eva's gentle and kind one.
