"I want a divorce."
Those bitter words sizzled through Brian Robinson's mind over and over again as he drove through the dark, rainy countryside of central Michigan.
It had been three weeks since she said those awful words to him, three long unforgettable weeks of living with someone who had fallen out of love with him, living with someone who no longer shared his bed after eight years of marriage, instead preferring the guests' bedroom for her solitude and independence.
After the shock and anger had worn down to where he could speak, Brian tried to reason with Tina and more important, tried to figure out why she wanted to end their marriage. But, it was to no avail as she could offer no satisfactory reason, at least in Brian's mind, for wanting a divorce. Her words rang hollow as his anger rose again. He had to leave before he did something he would regret forever.
The rain fell harder and Brian feared he would have to pull over if his line of vision got worse. Thinking back over the weeks, he could only sigh and shake his head. He didn't regret giving Tina the ultimatum to either act like a wife and try to work things out or leave. She was his wife and not his guest, he pointed out to her. In the end, though, it still surprised him how little time it took for her to decide to begin packing.
That had been two days before and he didn't ask where she was going nor had she contacted him. It was just as well. He figured she went to stay with her parents as she had done once before when one of their arguments got overheated. Perhaps he would call her. Then again, probably not.
The day after Tina left, he called his best friend and poured out his troubles into her caring ear. He had met Gretchen Allen at the police academy seven years before, sitting next to each other that first day. By the end of the week, they were having lunch together and soon became close friends. They both graduated near the top of their class and were assigned the midnight shift. They were never partners since the department's policy was to have single units, but they saw enough of each other on duty and off to keep their friendship strong.
It surprised and saddened Brian when Gretchen announced she was transferring two hundred miles south to another department after five years on the force together. It was closer to her family, she explained, but it didn't lessen the heartache Brian felt. It saddened Tina, also, because Gretchen was sweet and kind to her as well. They kept in touch and visited each other now and then as Brian and Tina were always welcome at Gretchen's condo by Saginaw Bay.
It was after they had talked for almost an hour when she suggested he come down and spend the weekend at her place, something he secretly hoped she would do. He needed some time away and this would be perfect for him.
"Are you sure I won't be a bother?"
"You've never been a bother before and you never will be," she replied. "Besides, that sofa bed needs to be used."
"Can't I sleep with you?" he joked, something they always did with each other.
"Yeah, but you'll have to move the dog," she answered, tongue firmly planted in her cheek.
The rain continued to beat down on his windshield, but he didn't want to stop, not now when he was fairly close to her home. His mind turned to their days on the force and the times they shared off duty. They constantly joked about hooking up together in a remote hotel for some hot, steamy, pelvic grinding sex, not that Brian would have minded hooking up with Gretchen. It was only wishful thinking because he would never do anything like that to hurt his marriage and he knew Gretchen would want no part of it, either.
"How ironic," he grumbled to himself at the thought.
Gretchen had been married once, but had been divorced for three years. It was Brian who put her to bed after she passed out when she celebrated a bit too much after the divorce was final. He thought of taking a peek under her tee shirt and sweat pants, but he knew he would never be able to look her in the eye again. Once he removed her shoes, he kissed her forehead and covered her up before leaving.
They had become closer since then, if that was possible, and their jokes of getting together for a night of intimate passion started to be less funny and more of a wistful longing. When they visited and long after Tina had gone to bed, they would sit on the patio of her condo and talk for hours, sometimes holding hands throughout. It never seemed to bother Tina that they were such close friends. At least she never said anything about it to Brian.
About ten minutes later, Brian pulled into Gretchen's complex for the first time without Tina by his side and it felt strange to him. In their eight years of marriage, they had never spent a night apart from each other until Tina's self-imposed exile. All of the sudden he felt nervous and on edge being alone with another woman for a weekend, never mind it was his best friend whom he loved like a sister.
He knocked on her door and whatever was bothering him melted away when he saw her. At five feet ten, she was just a little shorter than he. She was wearing black slacks and a teal blouse and her dark, but wavy auburn hair was tied in a ponytail with a yellow ribbon. Her soft hazel eyes met his steel blue ones and she smiled. Without saying a word, she opened her arms and hugged him. Her soft, flowery perfume wafted under his nose and he inhaled to catch more of the scent.
"I'm so sorry," she said after they parted. "I wish there was something more I could say."
Brian nodded and picked up the bag he had dropped to the ground outside. He closed the door behind him and turned the deadbolt. "There's nothing much to say," he said.
"Are you hungry? I've got some stew left over from supper?"
He had already eaten on the road, but Gretchen's cooking was something he always savored. "I'd love a bowl of stew," he replied as he placed his bag on the floor near the sofa.
"Great," Gretchen said, "just sit down and relax. It'll only take a few minutes to heat." She then moved to the kitchen.
Brian thought about sitting down, but the sound of the rain and the waves of Saginaw Bay lapping against the shore but sixty yards away caught his attention. He walked to the patio door and stepped out, partly closing the door behind him. The lights of the marina could be seen and a full moon cast a shimmering bright light over the water. The clouds had parted and the rain had diminished to a fine mist, causing Brian to presume it would end soon. It was still warm that June evening and Brian enjoyed being there, if but for all the wrong reasons.
Gretchen watched Brian with interest as he looked at the water. It came as no surprise to her to hear of their breakup. Call it intuition. Call it being able to see subtle changes in their relationship. Call it whatever you want, but Gretchen saw it coming. She tried to warn Brian quietly about things she saw or heard, but he ignored her or didn't want to listen. Whatever it was, he didn't get it and now he was here with her seeking refuge. No, she thought, that was too strong a word. Perhaps it was a safe haven for him.
She sighed and lit the burner on the stove. It would take but several minutes for the stew too warm. It didn't feel odd to her that Brian was alone and visiting. It was almost like a brother or someone else from her family dropping by. They had known each other for seven years and he was the closest friend she'd ever had. She shared things with him that her family didn't know, especially key elements that led to her divorce. They never knew of the psychological beating she took, nor the physical. She never forgot the rage in Brian's eyes when she told him of it, nor did she stop him when he insisted upon talking to her husband. The beatings stopped after that, but the head games were worse than ever. Gretchen never knew what Brian had said to him and he never spoke of it. She was too scared to really want to know.
She set a place for one and made a small salad for him. Once the stew was warm, she poured an icy glass of blackberry wine for him and dished out a plateful of the steaming stew. She called for him, but the door was closed too far for him to hear. Moving to the door, she stepped through and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Your stew's ready."
As if he didn't hear, he said, "You picked a beautiful spot, here, Gretchen. I could watch this forever. I've always loved visiting here."
She smiled, thinking about how much she enjoyed his visits. "I look at the water quite a bit myself. It's very calming, isn't it?"
Brian nodded before turning to her. "After I eat, would you want to take a walk with me? I mean, if it isn't raining," he added.
"I'd love to," Gretchen answered. She tugged at his arm. "Come on before the stew gets cold again."
