I bought you a turtleneck sweater. You laughed. It still feels like summer, you said. It's far too hot - I'm going to boil wearing this!
You lifted it out of the shopping bag and considered the oddity of my purchase. In response, I tried to be witty and make a joke - Well then, I guess you'll just have to wear it without anything else on...! Except for a pair of high heels, that is.
The turtleneck sweater was, naturally, a size or more too small - meaning it accentuated your curves. In public it would have been completely inappropriate to wear, but that was also the point. I said that maybe you could wear it around the house, every once and a while. It was like a strange piece of lingerie, perhaps.
After glancing at the tag attached to the fabric on the inside, your curiosity won out: you made the leap and tried the item on for a moment. Possibly, just to see how badly I had miscalculated with my purchase. (Regarding - particularly - the critical question of sizing.) I smiled, as you stretched into it.
'I hope you didn't pay too much for this,' your expression said. The turtleneck was also, of course, a completely nondescript color, just to make it unsexy (and in so doing somehow secretly extra-sexy.) Maybe the color was a brown-grey. Or a brown-beige. The sort of color most people would always ignore or pass over while shopping for something much more stylish.
After you finally pulled it down and flattened its various gathered wrinkles against your body, you made a funny fainting gesture, flapping your hands by your face, as if to provide extra air to cool yourself off. In an attempt to get comfortable, you gathered your hair free of the brown-grey-beige material, which was riding up your neck. You pulled at the fabric and oriented it better on your body. It was always going to be just the wrong side of tight.
Perfect, I said.
You smiled. Maybe finally starting to understand what I was thinking, and how I continually saw you: Gorgeous, in anything.
It's nerdy, but you make it hot-nerdy, I said.
I'm NOT wearing this out in public, you said. You smiled.
That's actually for the best, I said. We have our best times at home, alone.
******************
By the time the leaves were falling from the trees I had somewhat forgotten about the turtleneck.
Outside, I could hear the wind occasionally gust, and then the leaves scatter down the sidewalk in response. The air, at such times, suddenly had a chilly feeling, even nestled within a cozy home. In truth, I hadn't thought very much about the Halloween party, which we were attending that night, only giving a cursory effort to my costume. I was going as Colombo... the TV detective from the 70's. I had my rumpled trench coat; brown two-piece suit; un-lit cigar; notepad to write down 'clues'; and my affectation of disorganized and disheveled befuddlement.
You said - huh? - with your eyes when I explained. Laughing and smirking you stated the obvious: You're far too tall for that character... you definitely don't look like him. Besides, with that rumpled trench coat hiding that nice suit, people won't get it. They'll think you're going as a flasher - or some sort of sex maniac. I laughed. Yes, well...hmmm... that is until they hear my expert Colombo impression.
But when I asked what you were going as, you responded mysteriously: You'll see...
******************
All night I was looking at you. You were in and out of my vision as you mingled with others throughout the large house, and the crowd became loaded with more and more people, which sometimes obscured my view of you. I had a feeling that other men at the party were looking at you, the same way I did. You were intentionally un-sexy. And, of course, that somehow made you even more-sexy. More desirable. The horn rimmed glasses. Your blonde hair was mussed up and untamed, like you didn't care about such things (like after sex, I kept on thinking.)
Your 1950's schoolgirl skirt. Your little tweed jacket, which sat on top, was complete with buttons exhorting the virtues of a quiet night spent alone reading, and also endorsed a Library Science degree: Faulkner Rules! I Love Bibliophiles. What's your favorite Dewey Decimal?
But beneath that, I kept on seeing (clear as day) your too tight, horribly wrong, turtleneck sweater.
The tweed jacket hid the most scandalous aspects of your breasts in that too-tight, form-fitting top. But then you would move a certain way... Then you would turn a certain way... My mind kept jumping to you and me together. The brown-grey-beige fabric giving the slightest glimpse of your femininity, as it uncomfortably contrasted with the rest of your costume. The gathered fabric around your neck made your face more pronounced. It drew my eyes.
Who are you? - someone asked, pulling me back into the moment. A flasher?
Falling into character, I took my little notebook in my hands, fished around ineptly for a pen to write with, and then responded with a befuddled voice: There's just one last thing. The night of the murder, you said you were at the office working late, is that right?