"Where were you?" Aaron asked from his seat on the couch.
I almost jumped from being startled. "Um...well, good morning!" I blurted. My mind raced. Oh no. He knows. Of course he does. Why did I think that I could just disappear and show up again. He knows me so well.
My phone buzzed and I looked down at it. I need to delete this number.
"Good morning!" Aaron said with a smile. "I rolled over and you were gone. Everything ok?" He looked at my phone.
"Yes," I said, "Sorry I got a call from my mom."
"At like 5 in the morning?" He replied with a more concerned look. "Is everything ok?"
The notification on my phone was from Aaron. Oh no. I was too...busy to see. Oh no. "Yes, everything is fine. She was just up and wanted to talk. You know how she can be." I walked over to the kitchen and got out my coffee cup. "It was so early I didn't want to wake you."
"She need your advice on gardening supplies again?" Aaron asked with a laugh.
I took a deep breath and kept my back to him. I had cum on my shirt. My heart started pounding. "Yeah or something," I poured some coffee and took a drink. I can still taste it. I took a breath again and was careful to hold the cup close to my face, "Honestly, I don't really remember as I was so tired. Once I knew it wasn't life or death I just played along."
Aaron smiled and looked at his phone. "You are nicer than me, love."
I walked past him toward the bathroom. "I really need to take a shower."
"Ok," Aaron replied absently as he look through his latest posts.
I slid into the bathroom and locked the door. I felt tears running down my cheeks. I am a liar.
I turned on the water and got in as quickly as possible-hoping the sound of the water would drown out my sobs.
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"Mmm yes," Aaron said as he thrust into me from behind. His hands were gently on my hips as he pushed into me and i did my best to make the right sounds at the right time. The truth was, our scheduled date night had gone really well. It was fun, he was sweet and I loved him. Up until this moment our sex had always been good, no, adequate. I usually enjoyed it.
But now, as he was ramming into me in his gentle fashion I wasn't feeling that much.
"Yes, yes..." he groaned as he pulled out of me then pushed back in.
I clutched the pillow and tried to focus as he thrust. In, out, in out...Suddenly I saw him in my mind. More accurately, I saw his green eyes and then his cock in front of me. I heard his voice as if he was shouting at me from outside, "Everyday think about this. How much you need this." It felt good to think about it. To think about him. It felt good to think about him fucking me. He didn't make love to me like Aaron, no, he used me. He used my body to make his cock cum. I made that gorgeous cock cum.
There was something about that thought that made me feel...hungry. In the pit of my stomach I wanted it.
"Yes, like that!" Aaron blurted loudly. I realized that I was pushing back on him. I was really wet now and as I thought about the man in the car, I was connecting better with Aaron. It felt good. Really good. I closed my eyes and thought about him more. How he held me down and fucked me. I pictured him ramming that big cock into my mouth and down my throat. I thought about choking on it. He wasn't gentle. He didn't wait for my breath. He fucked my mouth.
"Oh my...I am gonna cum soon..." Aaron called out.
I pictured the other man in the car. The quiet one. The one that paid for me to suck him. I could almost taste his cum now. How desperate he was to be there and I was there to suck him. He paid for my mouth. He used my mouth. I could almost feel him pushing on my head, making me get in the rhythm he wanted. I wanted to taste that again. To feel that again.
"YES!!" Aaron called out as he started cumming.
I opened my eyes and stared ahead as he bucked and thrusted into me. I bit my lip. "Mmm yes honey," I managed. Back to reality.
We got resituated and in bed together. I could tell Aaron was feeling good and that made me happy. His happiness and satisfaction was very important to me. That said, within minutes he was asleep next to me.
I lay still for a while just staring at the ceiling. Normally I could go right to sleep, but not now. My mind was racing. Everyone had fantasies of course, but that was just it-they were fantasies. I was thinking about things that had actually happened. Things that made me feel bad and dirty and ashamed and yet...excited. This was followed by the deflating reality that it could never happen again. I couldn't do it again. I couldn't be seriously thinking about this? I was raped on the side of the road and made into a prostitute. There was nothing about those things that I wanted. Was there?
It didn't matter. He was gone. He held his end of the bargain up and hadn't contacted me again. I closed my eyes and suddenly my mind was filled with an image I had been trying to forget: his big, straight, hard perfect cock. It made me warm to think about it. Guilty too. Violated. Hungry. Too bad it was gone. Never again...
My eyes snapped open and I sat up. I had never deleted his number from my phone. I picked up my phone from the nightstand and filtered through my texts. My heart raced as I looked. What did it start with again? A panic started to build up. Shit. Did I delete it?
I got out of bed and went out to the living room then sat down. I scrolled through the numbers. I had so many random texts from the groups at church I had no idea what his number was. Then I saw it: "More?"