It was Friday night; the clock in my office had just clicked over informing me that I was in serious danger of missing half price drinks at āBennyāsā. Of course this served to only further piss me off, and my mood took another step closer towards Nietzscheās abyss.
The problem though, wasnāt the fact that I was about to miss those half price drinks, but the fact that I had to finish this brief, the one I had been procrastinating about for the past two weeks, and the very one my father expected in his hands first thing tomorrow morning. One of the things most people seem to think is that when the boss is your father, you have it made. Obviously most of those people havenāt met my father, a more cantankerous, stuck up royal pain in the ass, Type A personality couldnāt be imagined.
As the CEO of one of the top ten law firms in our fair state, my father plays it straight down the line. He represents everyone, whether they are the garbage collector or the mayor. Actually now that I think about it, I take that back, I remember him telling the mayor of our fair city to go fuck himself last week, so I guess the mayor will have to go elsewhere for his legal advice, but Tim the garbo is still welcome. Even Dad isnāt stupid enough to fuck with the garbage collector.
Anyway you get the picture, my father was the Devil incarnate and I wasnāt going to get near a beer tonight. Just when I thought it couldnāt possibly get any worse, a knock on my door was quickly followed by the appearance of my self appointed nemesis Roger. I have to spend a moment on Roger as heās crucial to the story, imagine a guy about 5ā6ā, average build in his late 30ās. Heās got thinning blonde hair; watery blue eyes that remind me of someone with sinus problems, and a nose that looked like someone had used it as a punching bag. Roger also suffered from a sagging belly and poor posture. All in all you could be forgiven for thinking this guy was one of Gods losers (I certainly thought he was). The trouble though was that God in his infinite wisdom had granted Roger a formidable intellect, which my father, bless his soul, seemed to care more about then me.
Why Roger annoyed me so much, I have no idea, but annoy me he did. And as I have already mentioned, I was already pissed off, so seeing Roger in my doorway only pissed me off more. Of course I was too professional to make this really obvious.
ā Hi Mark, saw your light on and just wanted to remind you about tomorrow nightā
āTomorrow night???ā (oh fuck)
āRemember my engagement partyā¦ā
āOf course, sorry my minds a million miles away with this brief, what time again?ā
ā7 for 7.30, see you then, I have to run, ciaoā
Just fucking great, not only do I miss going out tonight, but tomorrow night Iām going to be stuck at Rogers engagement party FUCKKKK. Of course I hadnāt forgot his engagement party, I had no intention of going in the first place, Nietzscheās abyss suddenly took on the appearance of a tropical holiday in the sun, compared to a night of Rogers company. I groaned loudly bemoaning my sorry fate and sullenly returned to the brief.
At 8.30 the following morning, brief in hand I knocked and entered into Dadās office. As usual he was there with his secretary Ms Schaeffer. Trudi Schaeffer had been Dadās secretary since he had opened, and just between you and me Iām pretty sure she was fucking him. After all how many other secretaries come in on a Saturday?
āHeres the brief on the Thompson caseā I dropped it on his desk.
He glanced at it, and then said, āFine grab a seat weāve got some work to doā.
Work, what the fuck, its Saturday
āUmm Iāve got plans, is this going to take longā?
āAs long as it takesā the old bastard said and before my eyes my Saturday evaporated.
At 5.30 that afternoon I finally managed to get out of there, I left the office silently cursing, and wishing all kinds of incurable diseases on my fathers head. As I walked out of the office into the cold and wet late afternoon I suddenly remembered I still had to go to Rogers that evening FUCKKK. Then I remembered that I hadnāt bought them a present, FUCKKKK again.
Getting home I tried to imagine ways of solving my dilemma, I could ring up and cancel, offer some bullshit excuse for not going. Trouble was, everybody from the office was going to be there, fuck it I would just have to go. I showered and changed into a fresh suit; glancing at the clock I realised I was running out of time.
Jumping in my car I put the pedal to the metal and hustled over to my friendly liquor store, I ran in plucked 2 bottles of Scotch and 2 of Bourbon off the shelf and with a wave I told Steve to put it on my tab. Lucky for me Iām one of Steveās best customers and he just gave me a nod. Back in the car and another drive to the local pharmacy, run inside pick up the first engagement card I can find, pay for it and quickly write some pithy platitude inside. Then itās back in the car and off to Rogers.
As I drive over I suddenly realise Iāve never met his fiancĆ©e Kathy, well I shouldnāt beat myself up I say to myself, itās not like Roger and I move in the same circles, and as long as I can avoid it we wonāt be. Anyway it gives me something to think about as I finish the drive over to Rogersās townhouse, what kind of woman, does a man like Roger attract? I shudder at the mental image appearing in my head, and continue the drive in an ever more depressed mood.
My night suddenly takes a turn for the better however when I get to Rogers house, and discover that Roger to his ever lasting credit, has hired a couple of kids to park the cars, thus removing a long and aggravating walk. Making my way up the stairs I hear the soft noise of a party in progress and as I get closer and the volume increases, my mood gradually improves, thereās nothing I like better than a party, even if it does happen to be at Rogers.
The door to Rogersās apartment is wide open, so I just walk in casually nodding to a few of my fellow workmates. A small cheer echoes around the room as people recognise me, and more importantly for them, notice the free booze Iāve brought with me. Suddenly Roger is at my side shaking my hand with a big stupid smile on his face. I present him with the booze and then remembering the card awkwardly hand it over to him.
For a moment he just stares at it and then says
āOh God Mark I apologise you havenāt met Kathy have youā
I just smile and then before I can say anything else he disappears back into the crowd. As he vanishes I smile at some of the other guests, including a cute trainee I noticed for the first time last week, and then go and fix myself a drink from the bar Roger that set up.
Drink in hand I move to one side of the room to take in the scenery, the apartment has a stylishness about that I wouldnāt have expected of Roger, plenty of art about including several pieces I wouldnāt have minded myself. Nice furniture tastefully decorated, and state of the art electrical equipment to make life that little bit easier. Looking around I was beginnining to re-evaluate my opinion about Roger.
As I was gazing around several co-workers gradually came over to say hello, all of them still relatively sober and therefore still conscious that it was the bossās son they were talking to. Therefore the small talk was mostly work orientated and deadly boring. As if to further emphasise the dreary night ahead of me I heard Roger talking, and by the sounds of it walking towards me
āAh here you are, thought Iād lost you already, Mark meet my beautiful wife to be Kathy, Kathy, Markā
At his introduction I turned around and there before me stood a woman who was most definitely not what I was expecting. In front of me standing beside Roger was a woman almost exactly my own height which in itself was enough of a shock that it took me a moment to take the rest of her in. As Kathy smiled and lifted her hand out I gave her the quick once over, she stood almost 6ā0ā, had long jet black hair that trailed down her back and had a style of body that could best be described as rubenesque. However because of her height she didnāt appear to be fat or obese, just, big.
Taking her hand finally, I spent a moment studying her face. The hair, which I have already described was very long and smelt deliciously of green apples, and framed a face that was full and soft with skin that was luminescent, amazing I thought that women can sometimes have faces of angels. Her eyes were a startlingly blue and stared boldly and intelligently into my own. The rest of her features were all perfectly proportioned, a sensual mouth grinned at me from underneath a rather Imperial looking nose, which went well with her chin that had a look of stubbornness about it. Interesting I thought to myself, very interesting.
As I took her hand into my own, Kathy noticing my attention, brought me not so subtly back into the real world.
āHello Mark, Iām so glad weāve finally had a chance to meet, Roger has told me so much about youā
Her voice was soft, smooth and very assured, with that type of accent, that makes you wonder whether or not swearing is acceptable around them. Her introduction brought me back to reality quick smart, just what had that little bastard been telling this fascinating woman about me I wondered. Not really knowing what to say I came back with the old comeback.
āAll good I hope, Rogerā
Roger just laughed blushing slightly, bastard I thought to myself. If Roger had told Kathy the half of my reputation then it was obvious I was going to be on the back foot for a while. I wish I could say that my reputation is entirely undeserved but unfortunately for me, the best and juiciest of the gossip about me is mostly true. Smiling curiously to herself Kathy draped her hand around my elbow and with all the grace and style of a movie star, led me through house into another room where the atmosphere was a little friendlier (filled with all the drunks from the office I noticed), stopping just inside the room she smiled at me again in her curious way and just left me there.
Just fucking great I thought to myself, stuck in a side room with all the drunks and halfwits of the office while the rest of the party spends its time sucking up each others asses. I quickly moved over to the bar (every room seemed to be equipped with a bar) and helped myself to a large Scotch. Just as quickly I moved back to the corner of the room where I happened to find myself staring into a large mirror.