David Attenborough says that the howler monkey is the loudest animal in the world. Sir David is probably not frequently on Literotica, but I want him to know that this is not actually true. The loudest animal in the world is a 30-something white woman, with half a bottle of white wine in her. Science fact.
I happen to be in a position to tell him this because there were recently nine of them downstairs in my house, all yelling and talking excitedly over the top of each other.
My wife, Carla, had invited her friends round prior to their dinner in a local Italian restaurant. The girls that lived nearby did this every month and it was one of the reasons we really liked living here. They were a great gang, all of a similar age and stage of life. We had immediately slotted into this community of 'young professionals'.
Usually they all met up at one house or other before walking over to a local restaurant and, this month, it was our turn to provide the pre-dinner drinks.
I, obviously, wasn't invited but I was looking forward to an evening finishing off some work and then maybe watching the rugby on catch-up. When the screeching and yelling indicated that they were getting ready to leave for the restaurant, I walked downstairs to see them off.
I threaded my way through the clouds of perfume and past pretty girl after pretty girl in slinky cocktail dresses and, finally, picked out my wife. She was wearing a sleek, dark red dress with matching heels; she looked gorgeous. We've been married for 8 years and she remains the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on.
I snuck up behind her and gave her a kiss where her shoulder met her neck. She immediately leaned in to the kiss then, just as suddenly, wriggled and slipped to the side to get away from my touch, obviously embarrassed about the public affection in front of her friends. She slapped me on the arm and admonished me (good naturedly) for making a scene.
Unperturbed, I scooped Carla into a tighter embrace and winked over her shoulder at Simone, the loudest and most bonkers of her friends. Simone winked back and I knew that Carla didn't have anything to be embarrassed about. No one here was a prude and none of the girls were going to be offended by something as mild as a kiss.
A few moments later, the girls piled out of the front door, draining their wine glasses as they left, and noisily making their way down the street. I suspected they were going to have a great time.
I tidied up the glasses and went back upstairs, making it through about 5 minutes of work before the fantasy of nailing my wife, in her red dress, drove me away from the computer.
Back downstairs and feeling restless, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and went through to turn the TV on and watch the rugby. When that finished and there was no sign of the girls, I mindlessly continued to watch the postgame commentary. Bored and frustrated, I flicked over to a rubbish-looking superhero film playing on Sky and drank another beer.
I was just wondering whether I should go to bed on my own, when I heard shrieking and laughing at the front door. I could hear scraping around the lock as someone was unsuccessfully trying to insert a key into it. Perhaps the apes had risen against mankind and a troop of howler monkeys had decided to kill me in the night?
I walked to the door and undid the lock. Carla, the prettiest monkey I'd ever seen, practically fell into my arms as the door she had been steadying herself against swung inwards. Immediately, she grabbed my head and pulled it down so she could kiss me as I cradled her.
The pack of girls surrounding her hooted and cheered; no doubt annoying my neighbours. If I had thrown them a banana at that point I think I could have started an orgy.
I studied my wife. She was clearly more than a bottle of wine into her evening. But she looked like she was having a great time, so who was I to judge.
I looked up expectantly at the pack of girls still on my doorstep and politely enquired "Can I help you, ladies?"
"I'll have what she's having!" Yelled two of the girls in unison. Everyone's a comedienne.
Carla answered my question on their behalf and said that she'd invited everyone back to ours to continue drinking after the restaurant had turfed them out. This was not the first time this has happened and I was not the slightest bit surprised. I pushed Carla back upright and onto her feet, moving her away from the door so that all the girls could come inside.
I collected coats as they came in and greeted each of them in turn. Wine had obviously been flowing all around the table as, to my surprise, several of the girls were a little physical as they walked past. With Helen, Fiona and Rose, they each ran a hand over my arm or chest. Holly, feeling bolder, grabbed my bum in quite a rude manner as she passed.
Simone, however, was the last to enter and she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. This would have been fine if she hadn't also reached through the mass of coats I was now holding and firmly stroked my balls which were hidden by the pile of clothing. I coughed loudly, surprised as her slim fingers tickled a very intimate area, but the howler monkeys ahead of her made more than enough noise to cover my surprise. After a tantalising second of contact, Simone moved past me.
'Two can play that game' I thought, so before she could walk away, I reached out and pinched a generous handful of her bottom in my hand. Simone stopped walking and wiggled her behind in my hand, looking naughtily over her shoulder at me. Oops, that was a bit more than I had intended.
I was not worried about anyone noticing, as the girls were all heading straight into the living room, on the hunt for more wine and music. Once I had deposited all the coats in the cupboard under the stairs, I went to the living room to start receiving drinks orders.
I always make a point of keeping a pretty well stocked bar in the house so there was almost nothing that I couldn't provide. The first few girl asked for gin & tonics, which was simple enough. My wife upped the ante by asking me for a 'Screaming Orgasm' which brought much hilarity to all. In a heartbeat, I had girls change their orders with repeated calls of 'Oooh, yes please. I'd love an orgasm.' from half the girls.
Making cocktails for nine girls took me a while but once I was done, I grabbed a drink for myself and joined them in the living room. I knew most of the girls pretty well by now so, within minutes, I was bantering along nicely with a small group of the girls, hearing about their exploits in the restaurant.
Recognising that they were probably settling in for the long haul, and knowing that it wasn't really the kind of night where they wanted a boy hanging around all the time, I eventually excused myself and made my way back upstairs.
I got ready for bed, read a bit of a book and fell asleep thinking about how great Simone's arse felt in my hand. Up until this point, the evening had been pretty uneventful. However...
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I didn't feel like I'd been asleep long when I woke up to someone tugging down my boxer shorts. I roused myself enough to recognise my wife holding her finger to her lips and 'shushing' me incredibly loudly while saying we "Have to be quiet." and that "The girls think that I've just gone to the loo."
This development wasn't completely unheard of. When she got enough booze in her, Carla could be insatiable. Given how much I had been crushing on her all evening, I was quite happy to take advantage of her neediness. I was not, however, quite ready to do so at the moment.
As my boxers came down, my soft cock fell onto my leg. Carla made a pouting face and picked it up on her hand. If she wanted British Steel, then she should have given me some warning! Luckily, I married a woman who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty and so I was delighted when she started running her tongue up the underside of my shaft like it was an ice lolly on a hot day.
Before she had even reached the tip, I was starting to thicken and harden. By the time she had done it five more times, I was hard enough that she was able to slide her lips around the end of my cock and bob her head up and down in my lap.
Immediately, there were thrilling sensations rushing through my recently sleeping body. We have a pretty great sex life but, when you've been married for a couple of years, the number of blowjobs you get does tend to taper off. This was a skill that my wife certainly hadn't forgotten, though, and she was on form tonight. I pressed my head back into the pillow and let her get on with it.
Once she was happy she had something hard enough to work with, I heard rustling as she pulled her dress up around her waist and tugged her knickers to the side. In the dark, I felt her clambering up over my legs, drunkenly and slightly unsteadily, until she seated herself astride my hips. She reached down, grasped my shaft and started rubbing her wetness against my hardness.
It has been obvious how horny she was from the way she had woken me up but the sounds of her slick folds parting as her clit kissed the sensitive underside of my dick was unmistakable and exhilarating. I wondered what the girls had been talking about at dinner to get her so worked up. It couldn't just have been the white wine!
Eventually, she raised herself up on her knees and positioned the head of my dick right at the entrance to her pussy. We both held our breath as she lowered herself onto my steely cock, then we breathed out in unison as she achieved full depth. I reached up and massaged her breasts through the thin dress. I could feel her nipples pressing firmly against the material and I pinched them gently between thumbs and forefingers. This spurred Carla into action and she started a rising and falling motion, seating herself firmly on my shaft with every down-stroke.
Still with sleep in my eyes, I could not believe my luck as she rode me like an enthusiastic jockey in the Grand National. Downstairs, we could hear the girls' raucous laughter and the possibility that they might realise Carla was missing at any moment only heightened the atmosphere. I was pretty sure it was getting to Carla as well.
