This story is about my long distance girlfriend going to college without me. She is a bit of a flirt and gets a little too comfortable with other men. She found out she was "accidentally" paired with a male roommate, but she decided not to rectify the error. Every phone conversation I have with her seems to end with some miscommunication. On the last call she said her roommate, Chad, acts like a stripper and proceeded to encourage him to shake "what his daddy gave him". In this chapter I decide to end the miscommunication and get her web-cam set up.
***
I couldn't take the frustration anymore. Every time I hung up with her, I hear something I wish I didn't hear. Whenever I tried to reach her again, she won't answer because she doesn't want to be on the phone too much, I'm guessing. I tried calling her the next morning, to no avail. By the time evening rolled around, she actually called me.
"Sorry I missed your call honey," She apologized. "I am having so much fun here!"
"Oh really?" I asked genuinely interested.
"Yeah! You wont believe what these guy's at some frat house nick-named me." She blathered.
"You are already hanging out at frat houses?" I questioned. "With a bunch of guys?"
"Yeah. What's the big deal?" She countered indignantly. "So I was feeling a little goofy today and I decided to wear my hair in two side ponytails. All the guys thought it was so funny. One of them made a joke that he'd call them handle bars. Then he grabbed them and actually acted like he was riding a bike or motorcycle or something. It was funny at first, but he just kept playing out the joke for way too long. It was uncomfortable too because my face was all up in his junk for what seemed ages. God, his thing was so big too, it was obnoxious."
"Wait, are you telling me some guy was grinding on your face as a joke?" I asked. "And you thought it was funny and then only obnoxious? What about sexual harassment?"
"No, no, no, it wasn't like that at all," She disputed, "It's not like we were all alone, a bunch of his frat brothers were there. They were laughing so hard for, seriously, like, five maybe ten minutes while he was doing it. It could have been worse, he was wearing sweat-pants so my face didn't get all scratched up from the material. I don't think he was wearing underwear..."
"I'm glad he didn't scratch up your beautiful face, I guess," I conceded.
"But I turned the joke on him though," She professed, "remember when someone would hold your mouth as a kid and you would lick their hand to make them recoil in horror? Well that's what I did to him, so his pants got a big wet spot in the front, it looked like he wet himself!" She laughed, "I'm surprised how wet I got him, I mean, yes, my tongue was right on the groin of his sweatpants for like 10 minutes, but it looked more wet than anything my tongue could do pressing against him."
She must have had a cup of coffee because I couldn't get a word in edgewise.
She laughed as she recalled, "So now everyone in this frat-house has been calling me the house bicycle, because of the handlebars, I guess."
"So why were you in this frat house in the first place?" I asked.
"Chad is thinking about pledging and we had breakfast with them," Talking too quickly again for me to respond. "They seem to like Chad so I think he has a good chance of getting in. Honestly, though, I think they liked me more. All of the guys were chatting me up and getting my phone number and asking what my favorite drink was so they could have it at their next party. I feel like a celebrity!"
"I really think you should report that guy for sexual harassment," I lectured her.
"It really wasn't like that," she countered, "these guys are really good guys. They would never do anything with me without my consent. They even had my sign some consent form just to go in their house; they must have gotten in trouble in the past. And besides, I don't want to ruin Chad's chances of getting in."
"Speaking of Chad," I changed the subject, "I really don't like to hear that he is stripping for you."