Joel was the sexiest guy in my whole entire high school. I'd been nursing a crush on him since I was a Freshman. We ran in different circles and so I had zero hopes of ever really getting with him. I was a goth chick, you know the kind that wears black everything and finds comfort in sadness and other dark things. I surrounded myself with other dark, creative souls and I watched Joel from afar as he worked his way from the bench to starting quarterback on the football team.
Every girl in my entire high school wanted a piece of Joel and I watched as he dated girl after girl. He never seemed to tire of dating and I knew that he wasn't the right guy for me. I wanted a guy that wanted me too, one that would commit to me and be only with me. Joel obviously wasn't that guy. Still, when no one was looking I was staring at him, wishing that I could have my turn with him. That turn never came. We graduated, virtually strangers. He knew who I was but I think we'd shared less than ten words during our entire high school experience.
I thought about Joel many times after high school. Sometimes when I masturbated, thoughts of him would be the ones that sent me over the edge. I couldn't believe how much he turned me on. It was so much more than any other man or woman ever had. The crush I had on him was extreme and I knew it. Who kept thinking about their high school crush five years after high school? Me. I was a loser. I was-
I stopped suddenly in my tracks. I turned on my heels and moved to my computer. I opened a social media app that almost everyone used. Surely I would find Joel here. I typed his name into the search feature and was shocked when hundreds of profiles popped up. I couldn't believe it! I tried to sift through them all but there was no way I'd be able to. I sighed, realizing that my desire to see Joel after all these years was still very strong. I had to find him!
I went to bed that night knowing what I wanted. For once in my life, I fully acknowledged how much I wanted this man. I sent up a prayer that I would find him and then I went to sleep dreaming dreams that we would find one another again. It must have been fate or maybe it was my intention that pulled Joel to me but when I woke up I couldn't believe it! There was a message from him and a friend request in my inbox on the social media app that I had searched for him on. I read the message,
"I saw your profile and thought I'd say hello. I don't know if you remember me but we went to the same high school."
I instantly typed back, "Of course I remember you. Everyone knows you. You were the high school quarterback. That's huge. I'm surprised you remember me." I felt exposed after I'd sent the message but when he responded right away I couldn't believe it.
"Of course I remember you. Who wouldn't remember the prettiest girl in the school?"
"Me? I don't think so."
"I do. I should have asked you out back then but since I failed back then maybe I should ask you now. Want to go out sometime? Please tell me you're single."
"Oh my God! I'd love to go out with you!" I was screaming and jumping around my apartment as I realized that my dream guy had just asked me out. Nothing like this had ever happened to me and it made me feel like the universe was shifting in my direction and like things were finally starting to look up and not be so depressing.
We met at the local pizza place, a spot that had been the main high school hangout. I thought it was a cute, throwback choice for our first date and I hoped to God that this would be the first of many dates to come. I got there first and sat at one of the sturdy wooden picnic-style tables. I was really nervous. I could feel my palms sweating and I wasn't sure what I would do if he stood me up. My insecurity started to get the best of me when five minutes passed and then ten. I thought he was ghosting me and my heart was breaking. It felt like high school all over again, me the weird goth girl that everyone avoided and him, the quarterback that never talked to me.
"Hey! Sorry, I'm a little late. It's been a busy day," I heard his sexy voice and I turned my head and gave him a smile of relief.
"Oh my God! I thought you were standing me up! I was freaking out!" I admitted.
"No way. I would never stand you up! I've been waiting for this date for at least five years."
"You have?"
"Yeah. Why would I stand you up? You're beautiful."