I shouldn't have come.
You're right.
I had to though.
Why?
To get rid of the sick feeling in my stomach. I feel sick and nervous and scared. It's the worst feeling. I can't bare it.
You'll have to, Chris said.
But why?
You know why.
Melissa was silent. Looking down. Her hair fell from behind her ear.
They were sitting on the wood balcony of his apartment. The night was hot and humid and hazy. She was sitting facing him. He was facing the building across the street not looking at her.
He was trying to keep it together while she sat there. Holding his ground. But she looked so good tonight. Fucking amazing was more like it. She wore tight jeans and a dark green tube top that perfectly shaped her tits. Her skin was nicely tanned and her hair was streaked blonde from the sun.
Were you out with Louis tonight?
Yeah. We finished the Lutzer job, he said as he lit a smoke and rested his arm on the small table between them.
Is there anything else you want to say? I'd like to shower.
He could see her eyes had teared up, and he became hard at the sight. The power of making her cry aroused him and made him hard. He looked away from her and picked hardened mortar off his arms.
A car with a broken muffler drove past on the street below. He looked at her again from the dark not able to keep his eyes from scanning her body - her belly, her bare tanned, shoulders, the silver rings on her fingers and toes.
You should be crying, he said. I did enough.
Yeah right.
If you only knew. What do you think I did?
Quite a mess I made.
Sure is.
What do we do?
What do mean what do we do? We do nothing. It's un-repairable. I've got work to keep me busy and you have school. We'll just forget.
Both sat quiet. Heat lightening flashed in the sky.
What if I don't want to forget? She said. I made a mistake and I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?
Chris sat quiet. In his mind he thought of things she could do. He got up and stood in front of her. She looked up at him. I have an idea, he said. Come with me.
She stood and followed Chris into his apartment.
Sit down, he said, pointing to a brown leather chair that sat below a large framed photograph of the Chicago city skyline. Wait here.
She sat in the chair and crossed her legs and looked at the pictures on the walls. There were pictures of Las Vegas, Mexican beaches, and paintings of classic musicians mostly from the sixties. As she lit a cigarette she heard the shower come on.
Grab yourself a drink, Chris yelled from the shower. Melissa went to the fridge, grabbed herself a frosted beer, cracked the cap and took a drink. Well, he hasn't kicked me out yet, she thought.
As she took another sip of beer Chris startled her from behind, dripping wet from the shower. His hard muscled body glistening in the dim kitchen light.
You scared me.
Sit in the chair.
Ok.
Chris dried off, put on a pair of jeans and sat in the chair across from her.
Let's talk about what happened.
Are you sure you want to do that?
Oh, yes.
Melissa crossed her legs in the oversized chair, pulled her hair behind her ear and asked, where do you want me to begin?
Why do you think it happened? Chris asked.
Melissa sat and thought for a moment.
Honestly? I had been drinking. Leesha and I had been drinking and I hadn't seen you in like, two weeks. So, we were drinking, and Jim was at the pub we were at and I knew he had a thing for me. Well, he just looked really good that night and he wasn't his usual jerk self. He was friendly and polite, and funny, if you can believe it. Anyway, we were all hanging out having a good time and suddenly Jen walks in and Jim gets all moody. You know how it is when you see your ex. So, he gets up and just leaves, which was cool, you know, but when I left he was waiting for me at my car.
Go on.
And he didn't even say anything. He just kissed me. I pushed him away. But he kept kissing me.
How did you feel?
Well, I was drunk. And it was all rough and drunken like and I kept saying Jim I'll get you a cab. And he just kept coming at me you know? Kept saying Melissa, you're the only one, I've loved you for so long. Melissa stopped talking.
Go on.
Do I really need to?
Yes. I want to hear it. I want to know how you went from pushing him away to fucking him in the back seat of your car.
After a long silence, Melissa's wandering eyes focused straight onto Chris.
Well, she said. He put his hand between my legs. And it was so forceful that my knees almost gave out. It just, I just, it was like I became his when he did that. I swear to god I just lost my mind.
So what happened next?
You really want me to tell you?
Yes I do. Chris was getting hard listening to how one of his friends was having his way with his girlfriend.
So, he told me to open my car. He said open it or I'll fuck you right here. And, I mean, I just did.
