Her Deepest Desires Ch 02

She realizes her body is being gently shaken. She gives another tug at her wrists and realizes she's no longer bound. Opening her eyes she sees him standing above her, "Are you ok?" he asks.

She slowly sits up and looks around the room. "Uh... yea, I'm fine. I guess I was dreaming but it seemed so real" she mumbled. Feeling totally confused and a bit embarrassed, she pulls the covers up beneath her chin as she lies back down. What a dream, she thought to herself.

He turns off the light and climbs into his side of the bed. She turns and lies against his chest as her fingers slowly travel through his wonderfully soft chest hair. Inhaling his cologne, she feels that terrible ache as it starts to slowly build up from within. Wanting him so badly makes it so very hard to snuggle so closely against him. It's not long before her fingertips find their way down his chest to his stomach. Does she dare go further? This man intimidates her so much; she's always second-guessing herself. Rubbing his stomach softly, her hand moves downward along his thigh. These feelings burning deep inside are driving her insane. Slowly she brings her hand back up and rests it casually against his crotch. She feels his cock there, still soft yet quite noticeable. She loves his cock and is pretty much fascinated with it. Her heart races as she tries to decide if she should continue. But before she has the chance he turns over, with his back towards her.

She closes her eyes as her heart sinks. Feeling very rejected and alone she too turns over with her back towards him. With a soft sigh and a heavy heart, she tries to convince herself he's just tired. But deep inside she knows it's her fault. Why must she keep putting herself through this? She knows he's not interested, but she just can't help it. She loves him with all her heart, isn't it natural to crave his touch, to ache with the desire of something more? Then the tears begin. She struggles to keep them under control, but she can't. The hurt is too deep. But she has no one to blame but herself.

He starts to snore as she envies him the ease of which he falls to sleep. If only it were so easy for her. But all that's on her mind is the feel of his skin beneath her hand. The way his body feels as it's pressed against hers. The softness of his lips when she receives one of those rare kisses. She so desires a kiss that lasts forever. One of which she's never had. But most of all she aches for the intimacy and closeness that they share so seldom. So seldom in fact, that she feels as though she pushes herself on him. She craves the way his cock feels as it grows. The hardness of it against her lips and the soft smoothness of it as her tongue slides along its length. Oh how she would love to hear his sounds of pleasure as he explodes so forcefully inside her mouth.

Hugging her pillow tighter, she tries to shake these thoughts and the awful feeling of emptiness that has seemed to take up residence inside her heart.

Finally she falls asleep with the hopes of tomorrow.

Her dreams never become a reality. Yet she continues to love this man who has become a part of her very soul. Just the thought of his touch brings tears to her eyes. All she's ever known is pain, why would anything be different now? Every experience she's ever had with a man has brought nothing but misery to her life. Yet she craves his touch. She desires the ultimate closeness that most others take for granted. She recalls the night he rubbed her back softly. Just for a few seconds but those were the best few seconds she's felt from a man. Never has a man placed his hand on her in a good, loving way, but plenty of times in a bad way. She knows the sting of a slap and the force of a punch all too well. But the gentle caress of a lover is what she has missed out on.

How can she miss the things she's never felt? Sometimes she feels as though she can't go on any longer. But there's no other choice, her dreams and hopes ache to be satisfied. So she accepts her fate, a life of being on the outside looking in. A life of craving what she'll never have. A curiosity that will never be fulfilled.

Today was a wonderful day. They spent time together doing the usual stuff. Going to town and doing some shopping. She rides with her hand on his thigh, feeling so proud to call this man hers. Or is he? Is she kidding herself believing he really loves her? Sometimes she wonders if that matters at all. She loves him, that's all she knows.

Just looking at this man makes her want him in the most intimate of ways. If he could read her mind what would he think of her? She already tells him too much. She doesn't try to think of him all the time, but damn it she can't help it. She's in love, way too deeply.

That night they go to bed as usual. Snuggling together, feeling his body against hers. Inhaling his cologne and kissing his chest, she gets lost in the moment. Promising herself she won't even think of anything more, won't spend another night crying herself to sleep. But she feels her body betray her. As he holds her close, she feels him pressing against her. Then the usual feelings of lust begin to grow. Can't he tell what she's feeling? Surely he knows, they've talked about it plenty of times. But as always she ends up feeling like a slut for voicing her desires. She's given up talking about it and has decided to accept things as they are. Yet here she is, wanting him again. Trying to control the animalistic urge to take control and tell him what she needs. It's not much after all, a long meaningful kiss would completely satisfy her... for now anyway . But she'll never make that mistake again. All that does is cause her great embarrassment when he turns her down.

She wonders what it would be like to feel his kiss, his touch, his breath against her neck and his weight on top of her. She holds him tighter as these thoughts go through her mind with such speed she couldn't even control them if she wanted to. Slowly her hand travels down his stomach, and back up along his side. Caressing him gently, feeling the body of the man she loves so much. He breathes in deeply and presses against her, causing her to feel his growing hardness. She presses against him as her hand again slides down along his side and slowly back up his stomach, her fingertips softly entangling in his chest hair. She kisses his body as her hand continues it's journey exploring and delighting in what it finds.

He pulls her close and hugs her tightly to his chest, kissing her forehead as his hands softly caress her back. Her hands come to a stop as her heart sinks, knowing what's coming next. He raises up, adjusts his pillow and turns his back towards her. She lies there staring up at the ceiling, and wonders if she'll ever learn.