When I opened the card that Saturday morning, I was suddenly reading about myself:
Fiona was mercifully single again, shorn of a loveless marriage and a husband who never really appreciated her. She breathed freer these days, making her own way, succeeding professionally and concentrating on herself.
That much had been true once and it would be true again, at least for tonight according to the notecard in my hand. I kept reading, remembering a slightly inebriated talk with my husband several weeks earlier:
She hadn't gotten involved with a man. In truth, with a new career looming, she hadn't even taken the time to look seriously. Her powerful libido hadn't quit though. She been increasingly agitated for several weeks and just needed relief. Acting on the discreet suggestion of a friend who supplied the phone number, she had called Devon, a reputedly handsome young man who specialized in satisfying needs of a certain sort. He had agreed to meet her in the bar of the waterside hotel downtown at 6:00 pm.
Patrick and I had been discussing a magazine article detailing the unspoken fantasies of 500 women who had responded to a recent survey. Many women voiced a strong desire to be pure receivers of sexual pleasure with no expectation of giving anything in return. "Sometimes a girl just wants to be fucked," one survey respondent noted. Others said they fantasized about paying an escort to service them guilt-free while they called all of the shots.
Patrick saw me stir as we discussed the article and afterwards in bed I became particularly aggressive, telling him what I wanted from him. Finally, he whispered loudly in my ear as we each had massive orgasms: "You just want to pay me, don't you?"
Now it was several weeks later. Before leaving for a Saturday in the office, Patrick left the note. Inside the envelope were four $100 bills. By this point in our marriage, Patrick and I had a well-rehearsed history of acting out fantasies and I spent the day somewhat nervously figuring out exactly how a girl asked to be fucked under these circumstances.
As I dressed to meet Patrick, or rather Devon, I spied myself in the long dressing mirror in our bedroom and contemplated how a stranger, even a hired one, might see me. I dropped my robe, staring at my breasts, my legs and my pussy that I had trimmed mostly as a matter of courtesy for Devon because I had a pretty clear idea what to request. Anticipating the encounter had become too much for me by then and I could not resist jilling off to a quick sharp orgasm as I splayed myself in front of the mirror. Yes, I was ready to take charge now.
Devon was seated in the bar with two wine glasses in front of him when I entered the room. He seemed to look past me until I approached the table. Finally recognizing me as his customer for the evening, he smiled warmly and extended his hand. "Fiona?" he asked.
I smiled thinly, extending my hand.
"Please. Sit. I bought you wine. I hope merlot is all right."
I merely nodded. After a sip, I said to him, "Look. I- I- have never done this before and I'm a little nervous."
Devon smiled easily. "No wonder. You are gorgeous. You must have men swarming over you."
"Not the right type," I responded. "Not for a long time."
He smiled a gentle understanding smile. This guy was practiced. It was easy to be with him.
"I understand," he said. In a minute he said levelly, "It's $400 for two hours. That includes the room."
Devon saw me reaching for my purse and looked around nervously. "No, not here," he said in a kind tone. "Upstairs. In a few minutes."
Looking around again, he slid a cocktail napkin toward me. "The is a card key underneath. The room number is on the envelope. I'll meet you in ten minutes."
I nodded, finished my wine and stood. Devon stood. "Very nice to meet you," he said, extending his hand.
I eyed him icily, "But you haven't really met me yet, have you?" I turned on a high heel and swiveled away, unsure whether it was necessary to prime this guy's crank but at 39 years old I was too practiced to do otherwise.