How can you possibly get into trouble meeting up with your boyfriend to go out on a date? I mean, all I had to do was go to the point where we'd arranged to meet and wait until he showed up. I got there a few minutes early but that was OK. I just stayed next to one of the shops and waited.
We had arranged to meet at the entrance to Ballam Park. It was a very large park, lots of lawns and bushy gardens and even a few ponds. Quite a popular place, especially in the evenings when dusk was there, providing a romantic place to wander around and just talk.
One of the entrances to the park was next to a row of shops and that's where I was, patiently waiting for Joey to arrive. Well, maybe not patiently, but certainly waiting.
Two things happened at once. I received a text message while at the same time this really nice car pulled up next to me. I like nice cars and this one was really something. A top of the line Lexus sports car in a dark red. Lovely. The text message was from Joey saying he'd be up to half an hour late and was sorry. Not so lovely.
While I was checking out my message the driver had leaned across and called out something to me. I hadn't really been listening and now I turned on my memory to see if I could work it out. All I could come up with was how much, and that sort of left me stumped.
"Excuse me?" I asked, puzzled.
"How much?" he said again and yes, that was what he was saying.
"Ah, how much what?" I asked.
He cast his eyes to the sky, beseeching help or, being in his car, he cast his eyes to the roof of his car, which I don't think was going to help him.
"How much do you charge?" he said, speaking slowly. Anyone would think he was addressing an idiot.
"For what?" I asked, thoroughly confused.
"For your time," he said.
I'm looking at him blankly wondering what he was on about and then it twigged. He thought I was a, ah, lady of the night, let us say. My jaw dropped, my face went red, and I must have looked awfully shocked. I certainly felt it. Then the shock passed to be replaced by fury. How dare he?
I was wearing a quite respectable blouse and skirt. The blouse was buttoned right to the top and I was showing no cleavage. (Mind you, I expected a number of those buttons to come undone after Joey arrived and I was wearing a front fastening bra which would help make for an interesting night.) My skirt, while tight, came nearly down to my knees. Joey might have fun up top but he'd have his work cut out to get under my skirt unless I unzipped, which I had no intention of doing.
The car driver got out and strolled around the car to take a closer look at me. Surprisingly enough he wasn't reduced to a pile of smoking ash by the look that I sent him. Good thing, I suppose, because he looked like a real honey. When you put his looks together with his car and his smokey sounding voice he was a winner all the way which meant he was gay or married. Seeing he was propositioning me I guess that made him married.
"I take it I may have made a little mistake?" he suggested.
"You take it correctly," I said, trying a Medusa look at him, seeing fire hadn't worked.
"Could happen to anyone," he said. "Especially with you standing there like that looking so infernally attractive. What are you doing standing around the park like this? You could be accosted by strangers."
Damn it. Didn't he know he was supposed to be turned to stone? I'd really have to work on these looks I give people. They don't work the way I want them to.
"I am just waiting for my boyfriend," I snapped, "and I'm not hanging around the park. Look. Shops. I'm window shopping while I wait for him."
He looked past me to the shop and smiled.
"Need some courage to face him, do you?" he asked.
I glanced behind me at the shop which I hadn't particularly noticed. It had to be a liquor shop, didn't it? Ooh, but this guy was rubbing me the wrong way. I didn't deign to answer, holding a dignified silence.
"You haven't answered the question," he said, confusing me further. Surely that question didn't warrant an answer. He must have seen my puzzlement.
"I asked how much, remember?"
"You're insane," I told him, seriously meaning it.
"Ah, the jury is still out on that one," he replied with a smiling shrug.
"I have news for you. The jury has returned its verdict. It's just that no-one has been game to tell you until the men with the white coats get here."
He just laughed.
"I'll tell you what," he said. "Seeing you're just a good little girl waiting patiently for your boyfriend I'll do you a deal. A hundred dollars for a half hour of your time. We can go for a walk in the park and you'll be back by the time your boyfriend arrives."
"Oh, my," I said dryly. "Another proposition, and you a married man."
"Married? Me? Geez, you'd think someone would tell a guy that he'd got married. Ah, when did the ceremony take place?"
"You're not married?"
"No. Why would you think I was?"
"I saw you. I figured that you had to be married or gay and you certainly don't appear to be gay."
"You're right about that, but neither am I married. Someday, but not yet. I'm not even engaged. Again, someday, but not yet."