A few words from Jayne, the author.
With the first two parts I explained how many of us change as we get older and wiser (?) and how that influences our attitude towards sex. In those two parts we looked at how many women, including me, who are deprived of the regular loving sex of the early days of a relationship use masturbation as a substitute. As we experiment with how we do that and develop new techniques as I explained I did, so many of us want more. For most it's probably too soon to break their marriage vows completely but many of us give out silent messages to, particularly, the predatory males who zero in on us.
This part of my story looks at how that happened to me and how I resurrect memories from the dim and distant past of my youth.
Hugs
J x
After successfully wanking her way through the masturbating stage of her changing attitudes, many women will move onto a period where she notices, and sometimes responds to, the flattery and touchy-feely moments offered to her. During this stage she'll notice guys holding eye contact a little longer than they should, smiling and, perhaps raising their eyebrows enquiringly as they run their gaze up and down her body often focusing longer on her breasts, the hemline of her dress to see as much of her legs as possible or her ass, especially in tight jeans, leggings or shorts. It's also when she'll be touched more often sometimes in intimate places. At first, it may simply be a fingers touching her bare wrist or upper arm, or maybe an arm will go around her waist as she goes first through a doorway as his hand gently rests on her lower back and maybe even drifts further down onto the swell of her ass.
Women like me who live around London and commute into there for work also face another significant and unwanted touchy feely almost daily experience, being touched up on the crowded trains, particularly the London Tube. During the morning and evening rush hours the trains are extremely crowded and many passengers have to stand. As the trains get nearer to London and people are still getting on with few getting off people are squashed together so tightly their bodies are touching from their chests downwards. It's not possible to look around or keep tabs on what's going on beneath waist level and that's when women will now and then, and certainly most weeks, feel something pressed against her. Often that's just an accidental leg or hip, but now and then the shape, length and hardness of it will tell her that it's something more sinister and, in a way, exciting than that. Another feeling is when something moves around the swell of her ass pressing and often squeezing right on her cheek, which confirms that it's a hand. Whilst most of us protest, though no one's really interested or cares, deeper down there's a different feeling as we have a grudging liking for it.
Hello and goodbye kissing between friends and acquaintances may become more intense as his lips caresses her cheek they might move closer to her mouth with the braver ones even brushing her lips. As they kiss, the hand that slides between her body and her arm might touch the side of her boob or even rest on it.
As this period develops many women will find themselves, often almost unknowingly, responding to the advances, which in short are guys flirting with her. Her reactions and responses might well condition their future relationship. Ignore it and he is likely to give up and go off to find someone more obviously up for it, or go along with the flirting and she'll be likely to have some form of sexual activity with him. And of course flirting leads to being held, kissed and fondled, which in turn usually results in one thing, them fucking.
With Kevin away so much and the kids rapidly moving off my hands, I'd gone back to working in the advertising industry not because we needed the money nor as a conscious decision to get laid, but more just to be part of the world that was passing me by and, as I slithered into the second half of my forties, I didn't want to be passed by. My recent, and now almost a year long, adventure with masturbation had changed me, there was no doubt in my mind about that. As I'd had sex with myself, my full-length mirror, or with my vibrator, my mind had gone into overdrive with the way that it conjured up fantasies. They also went through stages. At first I saw myself with guys like Gus who was one of the young pros at the tennis club or one of the personal trainers at the gym, people I knew vaguely, but had little to do with. As my ways of getting myself off became wilder with the oil, the mirror and then the vibrator so my masturbating fantasies also became more extreme. Although now being in his seventies and a bit past it, Richard Gere and I had some lovely times together on my bed whilst Leonardo di Caprio and a few others of that ilk also chipped in with some lurid sexual fantasies. Although I'd had feelings for women before, particularly when younger before I met Kevin, I'd mostly suppressed them, but during the masturbation phase of my sexual change of life, my mind resurrected them so my masturbatory fantasies now included other women, a BBC female newsreader who was married to another woman, Kylie who abounded with rumours about her sexuality and Susannah Read, purely because I think she's lovely and incredibly sexy with great boobs.
As my woes with Kevin increased and we both became aware that our marriage was falling apart. I begged him to reduce the time he spent away from home, so we had more time together as a family, but his response was to tell me to travel with him, or that we should move to Singapore. I couldn't do that because I had ageing parents and I would miss the children too much. Such reasoning, however, fell on deaf ears with him and, if anything, his time away increased, which in turn increased my masturbation activity. I did try, though, to save our relationship by offering sex to him when he was home. I bought sexy underwear, rubbed my naked body against him in bed and reached around him to feel for his dick, but he was usually too tired or had an early start the next day, so most of our sexual activity was restricted to an occasional, cursory, quick fuck and that was it. As a result, even when he was home, which was no more than a week a month, I continued enjoying my mirror, oil and vibrator as my fantasies changed. Instead of the untouchable film stars who had been my earlier sex fodder images, I was in bed, or more likely on the carpet, with men closer to home. A few guys I worked with, a friend's husband, one of Kevin's partners and my lawyer all tasted what I had to offer not, I hasten to add, at the same time although the idea did cross my mind!
This is also the period when many women have some new experiences, or at least of the type she probably hasn't had for many years. This may not be because she's putting herself about or being overly amenable to guys approaches, though of course she might be, it's more because of how with age and experience she's changing along with the world in which she exists. In social and work situations she will often attracts men's attention and is more readily available for them to chat to, play tennis with, be their partner on the dance floor or at work have a natter in the kitchen or restaurant. During this phase touching will not only become more frequent, but is likely to also be a silent version of asking if she is up for it. Any of those, of course, can lead to, well, anything as they did with me.
