My marriage is over. I've tried. I wanted it to work, but Carol wouldn't work at it. That's what pisses me off. I wanted it to work. She just doesn't seem to care. I'm sitting at the bar alone thinking about the ruin of my marriage. The bar is in a nice hotel where I made reservations in order to rekindle the passion in my marriage.
I made the reservations a month ago at the Renaissance Hotel in Chicago. I thought we should get out of town and go to a city where we could stay in an expensive hotel and spend a romantic vacation. I wanted to get away from our lives, spend time with each other to reconnect and save our marriage. But now I fully realize that she is fine with our marriage being cold and stale.
I order another coke and whiskey. I'm not sure how many of these I've drunk. I haven't had enough to get drunk, but enough to feel numb. I watch the people around me, admiring some of the female diners and waitresses, thinking that I could get back at my wife by cheating on her here at the hotel. But, I know I would never be able to approach these women, though I wish I could.
I haven't had sex in over a month. One of the major problems in our marriage is the lack of intimacy. I remember a time when I thought having sex twice a week wasn't enough, now I'd think I was in heaven if we had sex twice in a week. I've tried everything to get her interested in sex and the results have been pitiful. I surprised her with a romantic, candlelit dinner, and we had a wonderful evening, only to be spoiled when she wouldn't even kiss me as we went to bed. I gave her a sensual massage another night, but she said she felt too relaxed to make love.
Truthfully, sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it, the sex isn't that great when we do have it. She only ever wants to have sex in missionary position, and then she just works frantically until she has an orgasm. Then, I have to hurry up and finish. I like us to try different things, but she's rarely interested. Even the few times we have tried other positions she won't do them for long because they don't feel as good to her as missionary. Some positions are even just uncomfortable for her. I like her to be on top of me sitting straight up, but my penis goes into her too far, and she doesn't like it.
Even with these problems I don't want our marriage to end. At least I didn't before, now I think it's just over. I planned this trip so that we could spend time together, reconnect, become more intimate, and then hopefully sex would naturally follow. But my wife just doesn't care anymore. When I surprised her with the vacation she was excited. We had been to Chicago before for a short visit. We had enjoyed it, but since I was there on business, we didn't get to stay very long. We agreed we should come back sometime when we could stay longer and really enjoy a vacation. So, she was thrilled with the plans I had made, agreeing that the time there could really help our marriage. I reserved a suite with a Jacuzzi, a mini-bar, and a king size bed.
Then, once we arrived in our room, my wife picks up the phone. She calls a cousin of hers that lives in Chicago and invites her to dinner with us that night. I was furious. This vacation was supposed to be for the two of us to spend time together. She brushed me off, saying that she hadn't seen her cousin in over a year, and we would just have a quick dinner with her, enough to catch up, and then we could be alone again. I was exasperated.
We met her cousin, Jennifer, tonight in the hotel restaurant. I was grumpy and quiet the whole meal, not that they noticed. They talked and gossiped all night without paying much attention to me. I sat there, drinking my usual drink of Coke and whiskey, picking at my dinner, contemplating getting a plane ride back home that night, and leaving my wife here in Chicago since she obviously didn't want me here anyway. The two of them ate some, and drank even more. My wife has never been much of a drinker. They drank three bottles of wine and my wife got drunk. Jennifer was just feeling high. The two of them were talking and laughing loudly, having a great time.
I watched them both, feeling incensed and horny at the same time. I was pissed off that my wife had invited someone into our romantic weekend, but at the same time I realized that some guys would think they were lucky to be eating dinner with two beautiful women. My wife is tall at 5'10". She has long, blonde hair, light skin, and blue eyes. She is slender with B-cup breasts, narrow hips, and long legs. Jennifer is shorter than my wife at 5'5". Her hair is dirty blonde, shorter than my wife's hair reaching down to her shoulders. She has lightly tanned skin, green eyes, and large, red lips. Her body is fuller with breasts that are at least a D-cup, wider hips, and shorter, curvaceous legs. Whereas my wife has a more classic, elegant beauty than her cousin, Jennifer has a more womanly, shapely figure than my wife.
Then, my wife said she had to go lay down. I thought we would be saying goodbye to Jennifer there. I was even thinking that maybe I could take advantage of my drunk wife at the very least. But, Jennifer said she couldn't drive back home and my wife invited her to stay with us. I said I could call a cab for her, but my wife insisted, and the two of them went up to the room.
So, I went to the bar, infuriated that she had ruined our vacation. I've been sitting here drinking, alternately feeling angry and horny, and just ending up feeling irritated. I want to do something big to make her feel as bad as I do and to show her that I think our marriage is over. I want to cheat on her with one of the waitresses and flaunt it in front of her. I want to fly back home, pack up some stuff, and move out. But, in the end, I know I won't do any of these things.
Frustrated at my own inaction, I decide to call it a night. I pay my tab at the bar and go back to my room. As I'm standing in the elevator, I'm wondering where I'm supposed to sleep. I'm sure the two of them are in the bed, probably passed out by now. So, where am I supposed to sleep? I'm not sleeping on the floor or the small couch.
I approach the door to our room, slip the key card into the slot, and slowly open the door. I softly close the door behind me. The room is dark and silent. I quietly move into the bathroom, closing the door behind me as I turn on the light. I brush my teeth, use the toilet, and strip down to my boxers and undershirt. I turn off the light, gently open the door and move out of the bathroom.
I walk towards the bed slowly, my eyes adjusting to the low light. Though the curtains are closed, light from the spotlights illuminating the front of the hotel creeps around the sides of the curtains. I can see two shapes on the bed. My wife is sleeping on the far end, her head barely sticking out of the covers and turned towards the window. Jennifer is sleeping in the middle of the bed on her back. I look at the couch sitting beside the bed. I consider trying to sleep on it, but it's too small. There is room on the side of the bed closest to me. Plus, I planned this trip and paid for this room, I'm sleeping in the bed.
I pull back the covers and slip into the bed, trying to be as quiet as possible. I lie back on the pillow and draw the covers up to my chin. I'm staring at the ceiling, thinking, too frustrated to sleep. I'm lying on the edge of the bed and slide over to get more comfortable. I turn my head to make sure I don't disturb them, and see Jennifer staring at me. I stare at her for a few seconds, barely able to see her open eyes, surprised that she is still awake. I hear her whisper something hardly audible.
"What?" I whisper back.
She softly moves closer to me, squirming between the sheets, until her head is lying on my pillow. "I'm sorry," she whispers to me.
