The phone rang and I reflexively took half a step toward my desk. Jamming a hand between two files to pause my search, I stretched out and lifted the receiver - cursing whatever doomed situation had found it's way onto the other end of the line. My anxiety faded quickly as I was greeted by a familiar voice.
"John? It's Dana." said the woman. "I've got a small favor to ask."
"If I can I will." came my reply, and I meant it. After all, Dana lived only two houses down and sooner or later I'd be asking her for something. That's just how things work in a small town. Besides, the last thing I wanted was to dampen any amount of trust I'd earned from her. Honestly, I knew I couldn't say no. Not now. I took a quick breath and prepared for the worst. Plumbing? Electrical? Oh no... a loan?
Dana spoke again. "Would you care to give Jasmine a ride home from soccer practice this evening? I'm afraid I just won't be able..."
"Of course." I cut her off before she could explain the circumstance. After a few closing sentences I gently placed the receiver back in its resting place. "Fuck." I thought aloud. I took a slow deliberate breath and massaged the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. I tossed the file folder onto the cabinet, slid the drawer shut and stared at the dark wood paneling that lined the back wall of my office. Jasmine. I haven't thought of anything but Jasmine for a solid week. Her playful smile, her athletic ass and thighs, the way her fingers expertly worked my belt, buttons and zipper. Her sweet voice whispering "Cum inside me." Her young frame trembling helplessly in my arms. The thoughts had consumed my every waking hour. She assured me that she wouldn't tell anyone, that she was fine with what we'd done and she was glad she'd done it with me. It felt strange to put so much trust in someone half my age but I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. What happened, happened and I just had to accept the reality of it all. Did she seduce me? Did I push her too far? Did I seduce her? I wanted to believe it didn't matter and maybe it didn't but I spent the next few minutes trying to predict the future anyway. Soon I'd be alone with her again.
We hadn't spoken since that night which gave me a sense of security. Maybe what she said was true, that she could keep our secret. I wanted her so badly... I needed to feel that excitement again. That sheer force of shocking life-energy: a feeling that I'd almost forgotten, awakened by her and rushed to the surface with such dizzying speed I worried it would fade just as fast, moving beyond me. But no, it was still there, aching. I reached down and quickly adjusted my cock, aiming it down my leg and relieving the strain of it attempting to rend my denim. "Fuck." Thinking aloud again, I fingered my shirt pocket for a cigarette all the while regretting that I'd quit a month ago.
I tried to pass the rest of the day like any other, booking calls, paying invoices, ultimately failing to occupy myself with anything besides thoughts of Jasmine. I planned for a million different scenarios but I knew deep down what I'd do. I'd pretend nothing happened. With any luck maybe she'd catch a ride with a friend or her practice would be canceled. I glanced out the window anticipating a picturesque Spring day but hoping for storm clouds. What am I running from? I thought. I wanted her but I didn't know how to handle the responsibility of having her. Much less having her again. We were so different. She had her whole life in front of her. If anyone found out about us, my life would be over. All of it. The houses, the cars, the early retirement down the drain. And for what? For the enkindled reminder that I was alive and I was excitedly uncertain of anything for the first time in as long as I could remember.
My mind was racing. I checked my watch and knocked back a bit of coffee that had cooled hours ago. Moments later I was staring at myself in the Men's Room. I washed my hands, splashed cool water on my face. And took a quick inventory of the things I'd accomplished that day. Following a routine was futile of course, after the call from Dana I'd all but resigned to tackling my 'MUST DO' list. If I'd left anything unattended to, I could work it out in the morning.
