More light-hearted goings-on with vicar's wife Jenna. New year, new naughtiness, and a dull coach trip organised by the church might turn out to be more fun than expected! God works in mysterious ways...
*For non-UK readers, butty = British slang for sandwich.
"I'm so pleased that Alpha and Omega coach holidays have re-started their short breaks," Reverend Simon Morris excitedly exclaimed. "I've just booked us on the three-day trip to Epworth!"
His wife Jenna looked up from her phone. "Epworth? Where's that?"
"It's in Lincolnshire. Now I know what you're thinking, it's January, the excitement of Christmas and the New Year is over and it's such a dull time of year. The weather is awful and what I really should be doing is booking us a fortnight in the Maldives or Barbados to escape the British winter blues. But instead I've booked us a coach trip to Lincolnshire..."
Jenna tried to look interested. "Well...I've never been to Lincolnshire. Always nice to see somewhere new."
"The reason I booked this trip is that Epworth is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley. I thought you'd like to see it. After all, you are a big fan of them, yes?" He winked at her. "Oakwood Road Methodist Church are forever grateful to you for what you did last year."
Jenna grinned. "I'd love to see their birthplace. So, when is this trip?"
"Next Monday. I think it'll be a fun little getaway. Gordon's coming along too. Oh and so is Barry, his cousin."
That made Jenna perk up. Ooh, she thought to herself. I wonder if he's as hot? "He's recovered from his broken ankle then?"
"As far as I know, he's made a full recovery. His daughter Lisa came over from Florida to stay with him, so Gordon was relieved at that."
"Thank goodness for that," Jenna replied. She'd really missed seeing her favourite organist. Oakwood's organist Raymond Wilson had done a superb job standing in for Gordon...thanks to some "gentle persuasion" from Jenna on Christmas Eve. "What sort of hotel are we staying at?"
Reverend Morris looked at the Alpha and Omega brochure. "Hmm. We're staying at a hotel just outside Epworth that was originally a 17th century coaching inn. It's called The Parson's Knob..."
Jenna almost spat out the coffee she was drinking. "Seriously?"
"I'm sure there is an innocent explanation for that name! Then again, maybe not! According to the travel agent, all twenty rooms of the hotel had been booked up for a group of Albanian asylum seekers. However for some bizarre reason, after a few days, the Albanians all begged to be transferred to a Travelodge a few miles away."
"That is weird," Jenna replied. "I'd much rather stay in a lovely old historical inn than some crappy Travelodge. Oh well. Maybe they wanted somewhere a bit more modern?"
"Perhaps?"
The day of the trip arrived. The British weather was true to form, and it had been raining hard since dawn. "When's the coach due again?" Jenna asked as she and Reverend Morris shivered at the bus stop opposite the railway station.
"Should be here now," her husband replied. "Oh look, there's Gordon and Barry!"
"Hmm, maybe this trip won't be so dull after all!" She smirked. Barry was basically a clone of Gordon. "Looks more like his identical twin brother than his cousin!" The only difference being that Barry was wearing glasses. The resemblance was uncanny.
"I don't know why I let you talk me into coming with you on this trip," Barry moaned as he and Gordon approached the bus stop. "You know I'm not a member of the God Squad..."
"You haven't met the vicar's wife yet," Gordon whispered.
"Oh, this the lass you've got the hots for?" His sceptical cousin rolled his eyes.
"I think you'll find quite a lot of the fellas at St. Michael's Church have the hots for her," Gordon replied. "Oh God...there she is!"
Barry adjusted his glasses. "Bloody hell. You weren't kidding when you said she was a bit of a fox, were you? Dream on! She's way too young for you, Gordie! I'd say she's way too young for the vicar too, but she must have a thing for older men if she's ended up marrying him..."