T'was the Year of Our Lord 1739, and on a road bound for London, weary preacher and hymnwriter Charles Wesley had just arrived at a tavern.
"Innkeeper! I hath been riding all day and my poor horse be in the great need of water and rest. As am I." Charles said.
"Fear thee not, good fellow, I'll tend to thine horse!" The innkeeper replied. "If it's a room for the night you're looking for, then ye hath come to the right place. Here at the Lamb Inn, there's always a warm greeting for a weary traveller. I'll leave ye in the capable hands of my fyne wench Jen, who is adept at making gentlemen feel welcome..."
"Greetings to you sir!" Jen said, and Charles was a little taken aback by this stunning redheaded wench. "If you'd like to follow me, I'll lead you to your bedchamber." She picked up a candle and gave him a seductive smirk.
"Gladly, Miss!" Charles replied, following her up the creaking wooden staircase. In the main room, sounds of merriment filled the air as many men supped ale and enjoyed the company of willing wenches.
"I see you're a man of faith, sir," said Jen as she reached the top of the stairs. "Have you travelled far?"
"Aye, all the way from Bristol. I write many hymns. I'm going to visit my older brother John, who's in London. He's a preacher too. In fact he..."
"Oh gosh, of course! Your brother must be John Wesley, founder of that Methodist movement I keep hearin' about!"
"That's right! I'm Charles Wesley."
Jen entered the bedchamber. "Here we are, Mr Wesley. I trust the room is to your liking? This happens to be a new room - never been used before. Bed never slept in, chair never sat on, chamber pot never..."
"Ah, glorious!" Charles interrupted her. "It looks most excellent. I am indeed blessed to have been afforded such kindness. God is good!"
"Mmm, thanks be to God," Jen replied, eyeing up Charles. He was young and rather attractive for a man of the cloth. Most of the clergy she'd encountered in her life had been very old men.
"There be a fresh jug of water on the table for you, Mr Wesley. We're lucky here. The Lamb has a deep well which provides safe, clean water to drink. That's why we get so many visitors desperate to quench their thirst without worry of getting the flux."
Charles nodded as he put his bag down on the chair and removed his black robe. That four poster bed looked so inviting.
"Why don't you sit on the bed, Mr Wesley? I cannot help but wonder, after all that riding, do you not grow a little stiff?"
"Um...I am a little stiff, yes."
"Then come over here and sit beside me." Jen said, patting the bed. "I'd be interested to hear about your hymn writing."
Charles bashfully did as she asked. "Well right now, I am working on a "Hymn for Christmas Day." But I confess I have only written the first verse.
"Perchance could I hear this first verse?" Jen replied.
Charles nodded.
"HARK how all the Welkin rings
Glory to the King of Kings,
Peace on Earth, and Mercy mild,
GOD and Sinners reconcil'd!"
"I'd say that's a marvellous first verse," said Jen. "Very stirring...very uplifting. It makes one...rise to the occasion." Her hand had somehow ended up on his thigh.
"Oh do you think so? That pleases me greatly, Miss! Now if only I could complete it."
Jen removed her mobcap, revealing long, tumbling red locks. Charles gazed, mesmerised. "By all the saints, you're a pretty woman, Miss..."
"Jen...Mr Wesley, perhaps I can be of some help to you." She blew out the candle. "Oh my! Now we're in the dark. How careless of me! We'll just have to..."
"Ooh M-miss Jen!" Charles gasped as her hand groped him in an intimate place.
"I think you've risen to the occasion Mr Wesley!"
A few moments later and the good wench had relieved the dear Mr Wesley of his breeches and cast off the rest of his apparel, including a periwig. The preacher produced naked, stiff, and erect, a wonderful maypole. Jen put her hands to this fine example of maleness and her actions had the desired effect.
"AHHH! I think my inspiration is returning!"
"I'm filled with joy, Mr Wesley! T'is an honour to help you!"
"Joyful all ye Nations rise,
Join the Triumph of the Skies,
Universal Nature say