Joel & Mrs. Cantrell 01

Joel & Mrs. Cantrell 01

Yup, it's Joel from the neighborhood and I'm almost ready to quit my job and start an online escort service. Well, I can't quit my job because it has become the hot spot for introductions, but I'm giving the escort service serious consideration.

"Excuse me? Hello? Young man???"

"Yes Miss, how can I help you today?"

Ah, seriously? She's all boobs in the front.

"Oh, well, I need a stick of butter, so where will I find a stick of butter, ah, Joel, right?"

"Um, at the grocery store, I guess. We carry hammers and screws, Miss, ah????"

"Cindi, Cindi Cantrell, Mrs. Cindi Cantrell, book club member since my faggot ex-husband divorced me for a twinkie around the corner named Butch. So, we were talking about a stick of butter?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cantrell, but we don't carry sticks of butter. Are you sure you don't need some dirt? We sell a lot of dirt."

"Oh, I might take some dirt on the old bitch Darla Danvers, but for now, I need a stick of butter. I mean, how silly would I look if I answered the door topless under my bath robe if I didn't have a stick of butter in my hand to lure you into the amazing world of my super boobs? I mean, it sounds like tasty lube to me."

Oh, holy I need a job snap, right? Butter? Tasty lube? Boobs the size of Iceland?

"Pure flesh, Tiger Joel. I'm sure that you have figured out that women expand as they age, right? And by the way, your precious woman Annie Atkins is giving us a free pass. I promised to not let you between my legs and she agreed that I could lick and kiss your tip every single time it pokes through the grand valley of love bags. Lick and kiss, Joel. Every other Tuesday night, baby."

Free pass? Is that really a thing? LOL, like I care because I heard the words and I didn't say them, so I'm innocent, right?

"Um, ah, should I bring a stick of butter over tonight about 7pm, Mrs. Cantrell?"

"Oh no baby, I bought a 4-pack of sticks already. Should I wear a shelf cup corset or would you prefer all skin? And believe me, I have no problem letting the girls swing free under my very short and very soft cotton bath robe."

Oh, so without even knowing it, LOL, cotton bath robes have become my thing, huh? Good to know and something to think about when I create my escort website, right? And by another way, just how are the female hips constructed to allow them to sway like that when they walk away? Not that I was checking her out or anything.

So, have you ever stood in an open doorway with a woman on the other side with a stick of butter in her hand, a huge ass smile, a robe that barely contained all that and a pair of legs that didn't look thick enough to support all that upper chest weight? Well, if haven't, LOL, that sucks for you!

"Come in, Joel and don't be shy about kissing me as you walk me backwards towards my bedroom."

Shy? Me? I haven't been shy since Annie rocked me for the third time, which feels like such a long time ago now.

"Ooh, a good kisser! That's a big plus sweetie. And I'm not making any suggestions, but if we cheat a few of the free pass rules, well, I can't get pregnant, stud muffin."

Cheat? I mean, from what I had been hearing lately, the only cheaters have been the no-good lousy faggot ex-husbands, who all seemed to find happiness with Butch from the other street.

And all that went straight to the back burner as soon as she ripped open her robe! I mean, I had to make a quick side step to protect myself, but there they were, Iceland south and Iceland north.

"Lick and kiss with every stroke, Mrs. Cantrell?"

"Each and every stroke, Tiger Joel, so climb on board and do my tits. I mean, I'll just hold the stick of butter right here and we'll let your body heat, your oh so wonderful body heat take care of melting it, layer after layer, thrust after thrust. 132 seconds, right baby?"

Yup, another first for me. I mean, I made a few feeble attempts with Annie, but it was so hard to keep my lips of her boobs. I mean, on our first night together, she challenged me to draw milk, so I'm still working on that.

"Oh, um, scoot a little up Joel and maybe my kisses can turn into small Lolli pop sucks, but keep your speed baby. Oh, damn, I love you."

"Slurp, kiss, plop, lick, lick, plop."

"Ding, ding, ding."

WTF? Did Mrs. Cantrell set a 132 second timer on her phone?

"Slurp, I know, plop, it's your time honey, lick, lick, kiss, so pop off in my mouth, missile man."

Ah, OK.

"Hmmm, slurp, hmmm."

"All gone Mrs. Cantrell?"

"Never to be seen again, Joel. So, call me Cindi in the bedroom?"

"Sure Cindi. Ah, I need a few minutes, OK?"

"LOL, I know and I already set a new timer. Listen, I'm going to text Annie and plead sex crazy, alright? I need some of that missile down here, OK? She'll understand. And I promise that she won't dump you. She's making money with each arrangement and you still have four other book club members to, well, satisfy."

"She's charging?!?!?!?"

"Oh no, Tiger Joel. We have been stuffing her panties like we were at a strip club. Don't be mad about that either, not to mention, LOL, don't even mention that."

"Ugh! I'm doing you, Mrs. Cantrell!"

"Yes, you are, sugar baby. Doggie, maybe? It's popular with us old folks."

"Hah, you set it up and I'll slam it home!"

"Annie just texted me back and we have the OK, although you may have to spend the next two nights with her in her bed. OMG, look? When I got on my hands and knees, my nipples touch the bed! Oh, snap a photo Joel so I can send that around!"

Well, I was happy to help, but I was also to get started and believe me, doggie really makes things easy and interesting. So, my new thing is being greeted at the door in a bath robe and assuming the doggie position!

"Juice me Joel, make the mess in me that no one has made in years. I know you're about ready to blast off, so cream me sweetie. Want some of my drool?"

Ah, what?

Ding, ding, ding

"I'm launching Mrs. Cantrell, I mean Cindi. Consider yourself creamed!"

Oh, well, no one mentioned this cuddling afterwards thing before. Huh? That was nice.

"Joel, some will say that when you cum inside of a woman, then that woman is yours. And I didn't tell Annie that we weren't using a condom, so technically, right?"

Ah, snap! So, now I have two women who have declared to be my women and one hold out who didn't say anything (Mrs. Banner)? Wait, what the hell was wrong with Mrs. Banner? I mean, I gave her a record 83 seconds, right?

"Well, we'll talk about it next week, but my massive boobs, right? The size of Iceland? Is that what you said, Joel? North and South?"

LOL, pause please. LOL, between the butter, my sticky stuff and our rolling around, wow, what a mess her bed was.

"Lay back Joel while I grab my boobs in my arms and smash your cock and balls with them. I mean, there is enough butter left over, so lay back and remember, there will never be a need for condoms if you claim me as your woman. Oh, geez, LOL, these puppies are heavy, aren't they?"

"Smash? My precious and tender cock and balls? Smash? Oops, yup!

"Oh, you like that, don't you Joel? Yeah, baby, that's the way to grunt. Oops, or am I hurting you?"

"Ugh, just drop the boobs and drop your head, Cindi."

"Anything you say, master Joel. Anytime, anyplace, condom free, all day, all night and all afternoon. And my ass is included in the package deal."

Oh, well, shoot, ah, there's no shame in being number two, right?

End Joel & Mrs. Cantrell 01