Anonymous said:
Hi Jenni! Can you write a story where a girl loses her virginity to a bad boy? She's a good girl, book smart, but not street smart. She should say no to this guy, but she doesn't know how and she's left after to wonder if she got pregnant. The bad boy needs to be really bad. Maybe he's in a gang or a drug dealer. Thanks!
Johnny's Impala
I was only nineteen when I met Johnny. He was twenty-six and bad news. Everyone told me so, although I was much too naive to listen to anything but the beating of my heart. I was smitten with Johnny the moment we met. There was something about him that made me feel things I never realized were possible. He made my heart pound with lust no matter what he did. Maybe that's why I let him do whatever he wanted to me.
Johnny didn't want me at first. It took several months of me hanging around and showing up at his front door wanting to hang out.
"Lila, you need to get out of here. You don't belong in this life. Now go on," he said as I stood at his front door, my body aching for something that I wasn't aware of. I didn't know why I kept showing up at Johnny's front door. I didn't know what it was I wanted. All I knew was that I couldn't stop myself. I felt out of control in ways I'd never been before.
"Please, Johnny. I just want to hang out with you. Let me in?" I stuck my arm in the door as he tried to close it, and he sighed heavily.
"Fine. Come out here," he pushed past me and led me toward his old Chevy Impala. I knew that this car was important to Johnny, and I liked how it looked in the moonlight as he unlocked it with a key. "Get in," he grumbled. He was always so grumpy.
I got into the car and sat in the passenger seat, tasting the victory of being alone with Johnny in his car for the first time. I looked at him, his dark features the sexiest I had ever known. I didn't know what it was about Johnny that made me want to get close to him, but I couldn't get my thoughts off of him. Even when we were apart, I couldn't stop thinking about the way the nape of Johnny's neck met his hairline and the way his eyes darted from left to right as he backed the Impala out of his driveway.
I rode next to him in silence, unsure of where he was taking me but not caring where it was. I would have gone anywhere with Johnny, even though everyone warned me that he was bad news. I knew he was in a gang, and I'd heard that he was a drug dealer. I knew these were bad things, and yet, Johnny didn't seem like a bad person. He was irresistible to me, and I continued to stare at his profile while he kept his eyes on the road.
"Why are you hanging around me, Lila? What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised that he was putting me on the spot. "I just like you. Is that so wrong?"
"Why do you like me?" Johnny asked with a rude smirk.
"I don't know. I just find you...attractive." I couldn't explain my feelings because I didn't understand them, but I tried my best. "I want to kiss you."
Johnny tried to stifle a laugh.
"Why are you laughing at me?" I cried, the hurt in my voice obvious.
"Because you're funny."
I began to cry as Johnny continued to drive. I felt so stupid for trying to tell him how I felt. I looked straight ahead at the road, watching the stillness of the desert. Johnny finally turned off in a spot I had never been before. Little alarm bells started ringing in my head, trying to tell me that I was stupid for going off alone with Johnny. He followed a long, winding road before he finally pulled off into the darkness. There were no streetlights, and I realized that Johnny and I were finally alone the way I wanted. Why was I feeling so uneasy? Why had I put myself in this position?
"Where are we?" I asked with a sniffle.
"Oh God, are you crying?" Johnny asked me as if he was horrified by the prospect that I was.
"No?" I lied.
"Well, we're alone. Why don't you get on this dick? Come suck it."
"Suck it?" I asked, unsure of what he wanted me to do. Johnny didn't know it, but I was a virgin, and I didn't really know much about sex. Johnny was the first man I had a crush on and the first one that I wanted to do anything sexual with. It's just that I had never done anything sexual, and I was a bit scared of how he would use me. Johnny was the type of man who just took what he wanted. It was part of what I liked so much about him, but I never thought he would take so much from me.
"You know I have a gun, right?" Johnny asked suddenly.
"What? No. Why do you have a gun?"
"Just in case someone tries to fuck with me. You know? Lemme show you."
Johnny reached into his pants and pulled a small pistol from his waistband. He presented it to me, and I noticed how the barrel caught the light of the moon. I reached one finger out and touched it, afraid to get too close to it since I had no idea how to operate a gun.
"You look scared." Johnny chuckled.
"I...I've never seen a real gun before," I admitted. "I don't know anything about guns."
"What are you doing here with me then? Do you want some coke or something? You want to do some crank?"