Author's Note: This is a chapter in a multi-part story and is not intended to stand alone. This is my first attempt at writing erotica, so feedback is highly encouraged.
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J doesn't complain when I stay in my sweats and t-shirt. I refuse to dress for Paul's pleasure. But she takes a firm stand on hair and makeup, insisting that we maintain some minimum standards. I do my best to tame my bed head, still blushing slightly each time I reach for the hairbrush. Meanwhile, J goes to work on my makeup. The eventual effect is flirty, cute and almost wholesome. This seems incongruous with my task for the morning. As we walk out the front door, she hands me a shopping bag. "Packers t-shirt" she states in response to my questioning look.
I drop J off at the coffee shop from yesterday, presumably to retrieve her car. I then make my way to Paul's apartment, trying to ignore the shame that is forming in the pit of my stomach. "It's just a blowjob," I tell myself. "You've done this before." Paul answers the door wearing only a pair of sweatpants of his own, obviously opting not to dress for the occasion either. "Hey babe, fancy meeting you here."
His smarmy manner is a turn off. His bare, toned chest isn't. I'm reminded that, aside from James' awkward fumblings the day before, I haven't enjoyed a man's touch in quite some time. And while Paul has a laundry list of faults, too many to name, sexual prowess is not one of them.
I stop myself before my thoughts stray too far down that path and don an expression that I hope portrays unconcerned confidence. I need to reclaim power in this transaction, and fawning like a schoolgirl won't help. "We have business to attend to." I say wryly, pushing past him into the apartment.
"You look good," he says, giving me a once over as we make our way to the living room. I let his gaze linger on me for a moment, silently wishing I had worn something a little more flattering. Whether that's to shift the balance of power or gain his approval, I'm not certain.
"Thanks. Here's your shirt." I toss the bag to him. He acknowledges it with a quick chuckle before depositing the bag on the coffee table, amongst the snacks that are set out for the game.
I want this over with, so I get right down to business. "Let's agree to terms. I'll give you one blowjob..."
"To completion," he interjects with a cocky smile.
I roll my eyes. "One blowjob, to completion. I then watch you delete the pictures and the whole text exchange from your phone."
"Wait, you're serious? You're really here for a blowjob. I thought this whole thing was a joke, like you wanted to get back together or something." He shakes his head in amusement.
"We are NOT getting back together!" I say a little too forcefully. "So, you'll delete the pictures?"
"Well now I know you're willing to blow me for them." I make a mental note to kill J the next time I see her. I hadn't even considered that he wasn't serious, but of course he wasn't. What woman in her right mind would agree to this? Apparently I would... and did. Am I actually still considering it?
I shake my head to try to clear my thoughts. I tell myself that I came here intending to go through with the bargain, but I know that's just a rationalization. The truth is that J wants me to play the game, so I'll play it. So much for 'in my right mind.'
"Can I trust that you have no other copies of them?"
"Scout's honor." He holds up three fingers. I scoff, but have no real choice but to trust him.
"Afterwards, we never speak of the pictures or the blowjob again. The slate is wiped clean, like none of this ever happened."
"Whatever you say, babe." I wish he would stop calling me that. It's way more demeaning than endearing. Did I really find him charming at one point? "One more thing, though."
"What?" I ask flatly, fixing him with an untrusting stare.
