I'll never forget Kelly. She was easily one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, but there was so much more to her than that. People often talk about "old souls"...Kelly was certainly that, in many ways, but there was also something very innocent and totally unpretentious about her. For someone so beautiful and only 22 years old, she was very comfortable in her skin. She was... elegant.
When we first met, Kelly was dating my good friend Rick. He was doing his PhD and teaching intro biology at the local university, she was an undergrad in the Psychology Department. Rick brought her to a dinner party at my place. I was dating a very hot, blonde costume designer named Angela at the time, so it was a comfortable couples evening - wine and good food.
The moment she walked in the door I was struck by her beauty. She was about 5'9" and quite thin, but she moved with stunning grace. Long, straight, light brown hair, pale green eyes that smiled as beautifully as she did. Over the course of the evening it became obvious she was not only beautiful but well read, intelligent, thoughtful, well-spoken and a pleasure to be around in all respects. I could see why Rick was willing to risk the sort of hassle that could follow an academic who dated a student.
As the evening progressed it became very windy outside. A storm was coming up from the ocean and looked to be a strong one. The bay windows were bowing in and out from the force of the wind and the howling was making us raise our voices. I love heavy weather and there was a brilliant full moon that night, so I suggested we go out on the roof of the building to see the storm clouds before the rain opened up. We rode the elevator to the roof.
Outside, 18 stories up, the wind made standing difficult, but we all managed to get to the railing. The view was amazing. With winds gusting 80 miles per hour and a bright moon, we could see the clouds sailing across the night sky at amazing speed. Everyone has seen a cloud that resembles something else...I saw one rush past the face of the moon and heard Kelly's voice exclaim, word for word in unison with my own as we simultaneously pointed, "That one looks like a lobster!" It was a goocher! Kelly burst out laughing and threw her arms around me. There are frozen moments where things drop into place and you just know something is right. It's like deja vu, except you know it hasn't happened before...just that it was supposed to happen and did. This was one of those moments.
Because Rick and I were close friends I found myself spending a fair amount of time in Kelly's company. She and also became close friends and often would meet on campus between classes for a coffee or a bite to eat. I recall one of those meetings shortly after Angela and I broke up. I had moved into a bachelor apartment and not bothered to shave in a few days - having no girlfriend tends to make getting away with three days growth a whole lot easier. Kelly said I looked good with a beard, but wondered if it wasn't itchy. I smiled and told her that while it might tickle a bit from time to time, it was entirely worth it considering the way it would tickle the inside of her thighs. Kelly looked at me blankly for a moment as the meaning dawned on her. She grinned, told me I had a one-track mind and then headed off to class. I watched her go. Beautiful, tight, lean legs and hips and that graceful walk. What a treat. My buddy Rick is a lucky man, I thought.
About two weeks later Rick called me in a panic. He asked me to come over immediately, so I hopped in my car. When I got there he was half pissed and half terrified. Only my harmless, happy, hippy scientist Rick could have gotten himself into this one: He and Kelly had been out to a movie where they had run into one of Rick's students. A female student. Now, while Kelly was not in any of Rick's classes, this female student of Rick's apparently got it into her head that Prof. Rick might be open to a wee dalliance with another cute little undergrad.
At some point over the next couple of days, the slinky little tart managed to corner Rick, thankfully not entirely alone, and proposition him - which proposition Rick rejected point blank. Downside? Female student reasons that Prof. Rick shouldn't be dating a student (if he's not going to date her as well, apparently) and starts some loose talk about possibly filing some sort of sexual harassment claim. This is not going to do Rick's career as an academic any good, not to mention years of research and a thesis potentially down the tubes. It has the potential to be a career wrecker. A life wrecker.
I probably forgot to mention it, but I was in law school at the time. And while that by itself only makes you
un
qualified to fuck things up (the difference between that and a lawyer being the lawyer is
qualified
to fuck things up
at $250 per hour
), Rick needed to try and get a handle on the situation and thought I could help. We talked about trying to reason with the tart, but that seemed unlikely. She was nutty enough to hatch the proposition...what can you expect from a nut rejected? Reason? Next idea.
"Look," I told Rick, "the entire premise of the tart's claim is not that you directly harassed HER - it's obviously going to be tied to the fact that you're a professor dating a student. Leaving aside the fact that it's difficult to understand how your relationship with Kelly is harassing to the tart, as well as the fact that you rejected the tart's proposition in front of witnesses, it's still loaded with risk. The university is not going to like you dating a student - even one not in your class. It doesn't even have to be likely - they are not prepared to risk being sued by a distraught undergrad for the orgasms she suffered at the hands of a paid employee of the institution. That's why they have the policy you and Kelly are currently mutually disregarding. If the issue comes up, regardless of the validity of the tart's claim, the facts have the potential to hurt you, Rick."
"What if I wasn't dating Kelly?"
I didn't even consider that he was serious. Everything is a hypothesis, right?
"If you and Kelly were not involved...say that movie date was a coincidence, you just happened to be in line together, sat together, purely platonic movie viewing...then it all disappears and if the psycho tart even raises the issue it appears like a bitter, rejected girl trying a revenge play on a professor."
"I've been thinking about cooling things off with Kelly," Rick admitted. "There's a 12 year difference in our ages and even as bright as Kelly is, man...I mean, she's 22 and I'm 34; she's finishing up her arts degree, I'm about to defend my thesis. We aren't going to get married and this is probably as good a time as any. I'll talk to her tonight."
The next day I met Rick for lunch.
"Problem solved," he sighed. "Kelly and I had a long talk. If it comes up, the movie was totally platonic and there was never any relationship beyond that. We talked most of the night. We really care about each other, but she agrees that it's probably not a forever thing and under the circumstances, we decided to stop dating and try to be friends."
Christmas exams were wrapping up. End of the week, I had rented a huge stack of movies and planned to hibernate in my apartment, read nothing, eat bad food and get stoned a lot. But before my descent into the cave, I hit the club for a beer, figuring to hustle a few games of pool and relax. The five dollar night. Buy a beer, leave a tip, put a dollar on the pool table. So long as I win, it's free beer - the standard wager on a game of eight-ball, winner holds the table. More than a few nights I walked in with five dollars and staggered home at closing time with that five and a handful of others alongside it.
The scene downtown was boring, so I finished my beer and started the 15 minute walk back towards the university. As I crossed the street I heard a female voice call my name. I turned to see Kelly and her friend Jill coming toward me. Kelly threw her arms around me and hugged tight, "I'm SO glad to see you. It's such a drag downtown, everyone is gone for the holidays. Where's the fun?"