My wife's younger sister, Marie, is staying with us for a few weeks. She's a nice girl, friendly, pretty, quite intelligent and very outgoing. If I had to make any complaints about her it would be that she's a doer. She had to be out and about and doing something at all times.
I see nothing wrong with sitting back and reading a book. Stroll through the park and enjoy a bit of nature. Sit on a bench and watch a sunset.
If Marie had to watch a sunset she'd be doing a tap dance and singing a song at the same time. The only way to make her stand still would be to nail her feet to the floor. She is what you might call a rather tiring young woman. I get tired just watching her.
Considering what I knew of Marie I knew who to blame when Jenny, my wife, came up with a brilliant suggestion.
"Why don't we go camping this weekend"," she said. "It'll be fun."
Camping. That means mosquitos and sand fleas. Biting ants and other insects. Poisonous snakes and spiders. Sand in your socks and sand in your jocks. Bound to rain, even if you're in the middle of a drought. Boiling hot days and freezing nights. And these were just the good points about camping.
My immediate reaction was "over my dead body", but the glint in Jenny's eye indicated that it probably would be, so I said "Why not. I'll ring up and book a motel for the weekend."
"No need," came the reply. "We'll be using the tents."
The motel had been worth a try but I hadn't really expected it to work. Still the tents weren't too bad. We had two. A large one that could sleep two very comfortably and a smaller single man tent that could sleep one if they were small enough. Fortunately, Marie would be stuck with that one.
I contemplated a night in a tent with Jenny and smiled. She'd be feeling guilty about dragging me out into the wilds and sex would definitely be on the cards.
That afternoon we set out and by the evening we were busy putting up the tents and setting up the camp. At least, I was busy putting up tents and setting up camp while Marie and Jenny gave me advice. A lot of advice. Eventually I was done. I slung the sleeping bags into the tents and went and relaxed while Jenny prepared a meal.
Oddly enough, it was quite a warm night, reasonably cloudless skies and a full moon due. There was a gentle breeze and for some reason the insects had all decided to go and chew on someone else. It was actually quite nice out there and tomorrow I'd be able to go fishing.
I received a nasty shock when it was time to go to bed.
"We can't possibly ask Marie to sleep in the single tent," Jenny told me. "Anything could happen. She'll share with me and you'll have the single tent to yourself. You'll enjoy it, not having to hear us gasbag on."
Yes. I'd enjoy being curled up in a little tent all on my lonesome instead of spending some quality time with my wife. Oh, happy day.
I lay on my sleeping bag feeling frustrated. (That's a genteel way of saying I was feeling as randy as a bandicoot.) Eventually it dawned on me that the other tent was totally silent, indicating that the girls were both asleep.