I’ve been thinking of spending a couple days in the mountains for some time now. Just me and the magnificent outdoors. So as soon as my shift ends I head home, load what I need in my truck and head for the campground at Ames Lake. I have a small dome tent, sleeping bag, my fishing gear and tackle, a light jacket just in case it cools down more than I plan, several bottles of water, and just enough cooking gear to prepare the fish I expect to catch. On the way I stop at a fast food place for a light dinner and a little something for breakfast and lunch the next day. It’s mid-week so I hope the place won’t be full of tourists and it isn’t. I find a camp site towards the back of the grounds with no one else within several spaces of me. I set up my tent and, even though it’s a little early, climb in and get some sleep so I can start catching fish early the next morning.
The next day is truly glorious. Bright and clear, blue skies, mountains all around. I fish for a couple hours and catch nothing. Unfortunately, that’s not so unusual. I mean, I’ve caught lots of fish but I’ve also been skunked a lot. So, late morning, I take my gear and lunch and hike further up about two miles to Bristlecone Lake. I again start fishing and in a short while eat the lunch I brought. Just being here is so great that I enjoy the whole experience. It’d be nice to also catch fish but if I don’t, it won’t be a disaster. Then, just when I’m ready to give up and leave, I catch a great one. Must be five pounds. Dinner! So I hike back down to my camp site. I peel a potato and chop it up some, filet the fish, start a small fire and begin to fry the fish and potatos in some butter in my old iron pan.
I’m minding my own business, happy with the day, when my world changes. A really lovely girl, totally stark naked and with a truly bodacious body, runs out of the scrub growth around my site. “Hide me,” she says, breathing rapidly, “they’re after me!” And with that she stoops down and clambers into my little tent, pulling the flap shut after her.
I’m stupified. In a daze or something. What the hell is this? I mean, she’s a truly gorgeous girl. Well, with a body like she has, I guess she’s a woman and not just a girl. And she’s naked. Out here in the middle of nowhere. And she says ‘they’re after her’ and just what does that mean. And then I find out.
Running up the lane, or unpaved camp road, come three guys. The Sweeney’s. I know of them rather than know them. And I’ve never heard anything any good. The biggest, the oldest I would guess, blurts out to me, “See a naked girl go by here?”
I’m still sort pf squatted down holding my frying pan over the little fire. “No,” I say to him, “I think if a naked girl ran by here, I’d notice it and none have passed by here. In fact, for about the last hour that I’ve been here, no one on foot has passed by.” I’m not lieing, no body has passed by. She stopped.
The three of them look at one another, breathing hard, and the oldest turns to me aagain and says, “Mind if we look around and check out your place?”
I stayed where I was and looked back at them. “Well. since I have nothing to hide, I guess on one hand I wouldn’t mind.” Then real quick, just as the oldest one was starting to lean forward into motion, I added “But,” which stopped him. “Just on general principles, I guess I don’t like people walking up and messing with my stuff, so my answer is, yes I do mind. I don’t want you messing around here.”
The three looked at one another for a moment and then with a sort of dirty, evil grin, the oldest, who is the only one that ever said anything, blurted out, “What if we decide to look anyway?”
I look at the fish in my pan and use a fork to turn it over. “Well, since there are three of you and one of me, I guess you’d succeed,” I said, trying to sound tough. “But I know who you are, the Sweeneys, and I suspect at least one of you knows who I am, so you know you’d end up in an awful lot of trouble. You just have to decide if it’s worth it.”
They looked at each other, glared at me, and the oldest said, “C’mon, she can’t have got far.” and they headed on down the lane.