Linda: First real-life sex with her online lover
A few years ago I started interviewing women I meet on various online platforms about their most memorable sexual experiences. These are their sexual touchstones, things they sometimes reminisce about when they masturbate. When I explained that I could interview them online while protecting their anonymity, these women decided they would enjoy sharing their experiences with me. I've interviewed dozens of women at this point, and I never tire of hearing more women tell me about their most exciting or most meaningful sexual memories. Every woman's experiences and perspectives are unique. I am endlessly fascinated to learn how women think about sex and to compare this to how I or other men think about sex. I try to interview women at a variety of ages from various countries around the world, because I'm fascinated by how life experience affects what turns women on sexually.
For example, women of different ages tend to tell me different types of stories. I've interviewed women ranging in age from 18 to about 55. Although it is uncommon, some women had a very positive first sexual experience, and I've had women of all different ages choose these first-time experiences as the ones they want to share with me. However, most younger women, say 25 or younger, instead tell me about one-night stands with some guy they met on a dating app, or about sex with a guy they dated for just a few weeks. Sometimes they tell me about a lesbian sexual experience. These women are at a stage in their lives where they aren't looking for long-term relationships -- they want to try out new experiences and just have fun. Once the women are older than 25, especially when they are older than about 35, I usually get a very different type of story. These stories are about sexual experiences the women had while falling in love with a man with whom they would go on to have a long-term relationship or to marry. These sexual encounters were literally life-changing and powerfully affected these women.
I intend this as a series in which each chapter will be the transcript of an interview I held with one woman. These are usually from online video calls that last 1-2 hours. I record the audio for later transcription. There is usually some chit chat before and after the woman actually recounts her sex story, but In these chapters I will crop the conversation down to just the sex story, providing a bit of background on the woman first for context. Sometimes I'll describe what I was seeing on video if this amplifies the heat of the transcribed spoken words. Since these are transcripts of real conversations, there will be moments of confusion, bits that were unintelligible in the audio, fumbling for words if the woman was not a native English speaker -- all the things that happen when you talk to someone in real life.
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Linda: First real-life sex with her online lover
Linda is a 32-year-old Russian woman living in Europe whom I met in an online sex discussion forum. She was one year into a new relationship when she spoke to me, and was deeply in love with her new boyfriend. They had met online, and this was a a long-distance relationship. When Linda and her boyfriend finally got together in person for the first time, after an intensive 8 month courtship online, the sexual energy was intense. Linda told me about their relationship and about the sex on their first night together.
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Linda was very nervous and unsmiling after we first started our video call, so we talked about non-sex topics for a while (what countries in Europe had I travelled to? What was it like where she lived?). Linda quickly warmed up and started smiling broadly as we talked. Linda challenged me to guess her age. All men know that this is a dangerous question to answer! Linda is a pretty woman with pale white skin and long, silky dark hair, quite thin and girlish, with a beautiful smile. I answered honestly that I thought she might be in her mid-20's, and Linda proudly told me she was 32. I shared that my name is Michael and I am 55. Linda said I looked much younger than her 51- year old father, and I replied that it was disturbing that I might remind her of her father since we were together to talk about sex. Linda laughed and I could tell she was starting to feel more relaxed with me. At this point I told Linda that we should get started with our interview about her sexual experiences. Below, the plain text shows the transcript of words actually spoken, and the text in italics gives describes things I saw on the video or summarizes some parts of the conversation I'm not transcribing for you verbatim.
Michael: "So I told you when we were emailing earlier that I wanted to understand a little more about what is going on in your mind sexually. To maybe hear a little bit about experiences you have had or fantasies you have. So, how should we do that? What would be comfortable for you?"
Linda thinks and then says she isn't sure what I want.
Michael: "OK -- I'll ask you some questions. Let's start off...what would be fun for me, if you are willing to share, is if you could think of a sexual experience you had that was really exciting for you. Something that is an exciting memory for you. Could you just tell me a little bit about it? What was so exciting or so memorable about that experience for you?
Linda looks serious and uncomfortable. She explains that she hasn't had many sexual partners, and hasn't had kinky or perverted experiences. She once had a threesome with a boyfriend and another girl, but while the idea seemed exciting at first, it was not a comfortable experience. Also, she was married for 10 years, and thus did not have a lot of experience with different men.
Michael "So Linda, you don't have to tell me about something that is perverted or kinky. It could be something that is completely ordinary -- that is fine with me. It could be something that was romantic, or just nice in some other way. Don't try to come up with something that you think I will like. Think of something that was enjoyable for you -- that is what I want to hear about."
Linda thinks for a while and still seems unsure about what she might talk about.
Michael:"You can think of the first time sex was really fun for you...some time that the sex was romantic. And if there isn't a good experience to tell me about, you could tell me about a fantasy that you had. If you want, you can tell me about how you masturbate, what that is like for you. Think of something that feels ok for you to tell me about."
Linda explains that she doesn't feel comfortable with the video, seeing me and talking out loud with me about sex. "It is like talking with a therapist" she explains. I listen and nod.
Michael "Ok, so I'll tell you what Linda. Let's try turning having me turn off my camera. I'll still see you, and we can both type text messages to each other instead of speaking out loud. Let's see if that might work better for you."
Linda replies that this will be more comfortable for her, and as my camera turns off she immediately begins to look more relaxed and begins to smile again. The entire rest of the session is conducted by text exchanges. I sees Linda on video, but Linda does not see me. The video calling app let me download the text exchanges at the end of the call so that I have these to show you. The typed texts are reproduced below, verbatim, including typos, grammatical errors, and all.
Michael (types) "OK! Better?"
Linda (types) "Yes, thank you"
Michael "I like your smile. You look more comfortable"
Linda "I guess so"
Michael " I want you to feel comfortable. I want you to have fun with me. Not to be stressed. You look at LOT more relaxed."
Linda
(huge smile)
"OK cool because it felt like I was talking to one of my Dad's friends. LOL. OK I feel much better"
Michael "Man -- you are making me feel old!!!!!!"
Linda "noooooooooo. Sorry. I don't mean that."
Michael "Ok now think about something you would enjoy telling me about. Linda -- I haven't had a lot of sexual partners either. I'm not interested in kinky sex or perverted stuff. I'm interested in understanding something that you genuinely enjoy."
Linda "well I have a boyfriend now, and what I like with him is how we can make tender love and then it can all turn into quite rough and very passionate sex. I guess I enjoy both styles"
Michael "Pick a time you had sex with him that was memorable for you. And start telling me about that one time in detail. I can ask questions if I want to fill in details. Is that ok?"
Linda vigorously nods several times and mouths "yes". She is about to begin a recounting over the next ~ 100 minute the detailed story of the first time she had sex with her current boyfriend.
Linda "I really enjoy looking in my partner's eyes while making love. You know he lives overseas and when we finally met in real we had a memorable night. It was in a hotel room in Thailand"
Michael "You met him online? Then you met and made love the first time you were together?
Linda "Yes I met him on one of sites. Yes"
Michael "wow. And you got to know each other that way and then got together in real life?"
Linda "It was amazing and very special as I had never experienced anything like that. Yes we had been talking for 8 months before we met in person"
Michael "Did you have sex the first day you were together?
Linda "yes but we had online sex before that a few times"
Michael "Was it gentle/romantic the first time? Or rough/passionate?"
Linda "it was very romantic- imagine Phuket, hotel 2 mi away from a beach. We had waited for so long to see each other."
Michael "Yes -- a romantic setting, a lot of anticipation. Sounds nice."
Linda "and of course we couldn't get enough of each other the first few hours"
Michael "What happened first. Did you have dinner, hold hands, kiss, hug?"
Linda "no we met at the airport and gabbed taxi to our hotel I had a 16 hour flight so I was very tired and excited at the same time. All the way to the hotel we were holding hands and cuddling"
Michael "so you were tired - did you go to sleep and get some rest, or did you just have sex immediately?"
Linda "We couldn't keep our hands off each other."
Michael "I see. When I was first together with my wife it was like that. I remembering coming home from a trip -- we were apart for a while, and we just had to have sex immediately when I got home"
Linda "Yes I understand why. (Smiley emoji). We were supposed to come to hotel and have some rest -- we discussed it on the way. But then we entered the room and realized we were finally together."
Michael "Ok -- you were in the room, finally alone. Now slow down the story and tell me everything! I want it to be like I was there."
