I knew I should not have been there, but I could not help myself ... something about her just would not let me stay away. Although we had met several years before in Miami through a mutual friend, there was no immediate spark. I remember thinking that Lisa was very attractive, but that was it. Besides, the wedding band on my left hand signaled that I was no longer on the market. Three years later, her job required that she make several visits here to Chicago for weeks at a time. During her first visit, this same friend put us in contact, as she really didn't know anyone in Chicago.
First, a little bit about me. I am still married, but a lot less happily. In addition, since the birth of our son last year, our sex life has come to a screeching halt. Since we found out we were expecting almost two years ago, Angela and I have made love exactly three times, none of which were satisfying for either of us. It felt as if she was doing it out of obligation and I basically went until I came. No post-coital cuddling, intimacy, etc. ... you get the picture. You know there's not much sex going on in a relationship if one partner can tell you the exact dates that they made love over nearly a two-year period.
Angela's lack of interest in sex and my acceptance of that have completely drained the passion out of our relationship. It's not like we were setting the bed on fire beforehand, but our sexual relationship, intimacy, etc. has dwindled down to non-existent. I'm a sensual and romantic person, and need that in my life and from my wife. I am not a serial cheater and have tried to forsake all others, but the strain has gotten to be too much and made me vulnerable to the situation that I found myself in that day.
On Lisa's first visit, we got together for lunch and spent some time touring downtown Chicago, seeing the sites. The first thing that hit me was how much more beautiful she was than I recalled from that meeting in Miami. Over lunch, we talked a lot about our romantic involvements – she had recently ended a 3-year, on-again/off-again relationship, and I've already told you about my situation at home.
During the remainder of this trip and on subsequent visits, we spent a lot of time together, careful to go places that I would not see anyone I knew. Lisa and I were able to talk candidly about a lot of things, including sex, even coming up with our own terms for fellatio ("a Lewinsky") and cunnilingus ("smoking a cigar" – thanks, President Clinton). To this day, my wife knows nothing about this and definitely would not understand.
The situation with Lisa began to take on a slightly different tone one Saturday night during her first trip to Chicago. We went to this little out-of-the-way restaurant for a quiet dinner, followed by some gambling at one of the casinos in Indiana and a stop at a local watering hole for drinks. As I crawled into bed at home, I remember thinking that the night felt much more like a romantic date than a platonic one. I had no idea at that time, but I was not alone in that sentiment.
Several visits later, we were again cruising downtown Chicago and parked near the lakefront to talk. During one of those lulls in the conversation, I found myself looking into her eyes.
She asked what I was thinking about and I said, "Kissing you ... come here."
I pulled her close and gently kissed her. She kissed me back and we were there for some time, kissing and talking. One of the things that we talked about was that night a couple of months prior, where I started having some different feelings toward her. She then told me that she felt the same way that day and if I wasn't already married, she could see us in a real relationship. However, she was not interested in breaking up a marriage or a home, so things could not go beyond kissing and touching. Lisa and I continued to see each other during her business trips to Chicago and although we had drawn a line as far as our physical contact, the mutual desire never waned.
