Lord Forgive Me

Thank-you to all who confirmed for me that I would not go to hell for writing this, my soul was very relieved. Please enjoy, and if you feel guilty at all, I'm told 12 Hail Mary's are enough. Enjoy, and if you do, please like.

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Dear Lord forgive me, I'm going to hell right before your alter.

I am just a mere mortal, a woman destined to sin. And unwittingly I am doing it right now, sinning in thought, I'm sure the sin of words and deeds won't be far behind.

"Come as you are," the good book says. For some that meant jeans and a polo. For the usher standing at the back of the rectory, welcoming everyone in, that meant a perfectly tailored Brook Bros navy blue suit. And he wore it well, looking like a dark and chocolaty smooth Ken barbie doll. A white shirt and crew neck tee were underneath his jacket, doing very little to hide his muscular physique. A pink tie hung down his chest. I noticed for the first time ever, the end of ties resembles an arrow telling your eyes where to go next and mine obediently followed the trail. The new fashion of fitted dress pants was not lost on me. He was making that suit work hard, it looked like the Brook Brothers pants were struggling to contain his bulge and quads covered in their wool and cotton blends. His socks showing out from his brown classic wingtip shoes finished the look.

I was dressed modestly I thought, minimal cleavage exposed from my royal blue dress that came down to my knees with an appropriate slit at the back- not too high. It was fitted and hugged my every curve. It wasn't my fault I'd been blessed with a bountiful bosom, a round behind with the hips to support it despite my size 10 waist.

I even had on pantyhose to cover where my legs would have been exposed until my black 3-inch heeled boots started.

The preacher was talking about jezebel, a powerful and domineering seductress when he caught my eye for a moment from the pulpit. My heart quickened. Could he see into my soul and know the impure thoughts I was desperately trying to stop!? I hoped not. I said another quick prayer for strength and guidance.

Even with my eyes closed, all I could see was his naked body taking a dark shape underneath my eyelids. I wanted to reach out and caress every inch of it. I was imagining running my hands down his body from the top of his shaved head until I reached those pretty pink socks.

The service was moving along around me, praise and worship, then a psalm reading before we got to communion. Pew by pew we filed up to the alter for communion, I hoped he would not be the one attending to me.

I knelt down and closed my eyes in this very familiar position. Head bowed; hands cupped in front of me waiting for a man to be put his gift in my mouth. And then I felt a warm palm on my forehead, again a familiar touch that made my cheeks warm. I raised my head, and he was in front of me, his crotch in line with my mouth. My lips slowly parted, and my chest heaved as he placed the wafer in my gaping mouth. Not the usual white treat I get in this position, but very welcomed.

He moved to the next person while I stayed for a moment, I'm sure it looked like I was in irreverence, but in truth I was imagining him unzipping his pants and taking out his...

"Can I get an Amen!?"

And with that oration I was snapped back to reality. I was raised in the church, raised better than this, and when that Christian guilt hit, I was overwhelmed. Every apostle and angel in those stained-glass windows seemed like they were staring at me, judging me and I had to get out.

At the next opportune pause in the sermon, I grabbed my jacket and purse and quickly made my way down the pew out the aisle and to the rectory. And who should be standing by the exit but my holy tempter. Like St. Peter standing at the pearly gates in my way to getting into heaven - away from these lustful thoughts.

"Leaving already Ms.?" his voice floated through the air like a bass filled melody.

"Yes, I'm so sorry, I have another commitment." I lied into to those dark brown eyes. Dear Lord, forgive me again.

He smiled at me with a row of pearly whites and said, "Well we appreciate you coming, I won't keep you, but did you sign our guest book and leave your contact information?"

"I did, yes thank-you,"

"Great, then we'll be in touch, have a blessed day."

And there was that smile again, but this time when his charm washed over me, I felt less dirty but just for a brief moment. I couldn't continue standing at the threshold between the house of the lord and the safety of the secular world just steps away.

"Thanks, you too, take care."

I stepped out and the fresh air went right through my blue dress, past my pantyhose and seemed to settle in between my legs. And it was obvious where my mind had been, the cool air only accentuated my growing wetness.

A few days had passed, and I was sitting at home relaxing enjoying a cup of tea on my couch in the fall weather staring off into the fireplace when my doorbell rang. I got up and cautiously went to the door peered through the window and saw my tall dark tempter standing at my door with what looked like a halo of sunlight beaming behind him.

The light only further accentuated those pearly whites once again. It was so disarming to me and if it could have translated to an action, my clothes would have been falling off my body. My nerves immediately caught hold of me and I could feel myself starting to get flush and a little sweaty. I let my hair down from my sloppy bun, I was grateful that I looked half decent before I opened the door.

"Hi there," I beamed at him squinting a little from the light.

"Hey, good afternoon, Samira, right?

"Yes, and sorry you are?"

"Apologies, it's Garnett, but everyone just calls me G."

"Nice to meet you G," I said flirtatiously and only with a tinge of guilt, since I was in my house now.

"I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time. I apologize for stopping by unexpectedly, but I was in the neighborhood visiting another parishioner and you were on my list of visitors to contact from this week's service. If this is not a bad time, do you mind if I come in and talk to you for a little bit?"

"Of course, no problem come in. Sorry I'm not really dressed for company. I was just sitting by the fire reading and having a tea.

"Oh please, you look like great."

I hoped that the twinkle I think I saw was reciprocal flirting while I looked down at his hands to check for a ring. None.

"Thank-you, can I take your coat or get you something to drink?"

"I'll join you in a cup of tea if you don't mind, thanks for offering," as he slipped himself out of his coat, leaving no doubt in my mind that he must have a regular gym routine.

His white T-shirt went well with his faded blue jeans, I noted his size 13 Jordan's at the door. This look on him was just as appealing to me as the suit I first saw him in. Simple and classic.

I on the other hand, I had on what I call, chic lounge wear. Ever since COVID they've upped the cotton game with fancier comfortable clothes. I was sporting a light purple outfit; a fitted pair of stretch cotton pants with a matching long-sleeved off the shoulder long-sleeve shirt.

While I was making his tea in the kitchen, I could see him moving around my living room looking at the pictures and the décor before settling in and making himself comfortable on the couch. I called out to him, "How do take your tea?"

I brought him an earl grey cup with two creams, one sugar and some cookies; he'd already made himself comfortable on the couch. I joined him, leaving a one cushion distance between us. He sipped his tea, and in between bites of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, he asked me what brought me to church last week.

"Oh, a friend of mine invited me, she really likes the Sunday service."

"That's great to hear, sorry you had another engagement and couldn't stay until the end. We have refreshments and a meet and greet for visitors after. I had hoped to talk with you then."

Right, I left for another engagement. "Thou shalt not lie," and in case I needed reminding, the guilt pang assaulted my sides. They say confession is good for the soul, and clearly mine needed all the help it could get if I were to be spared from eternal damnation.

"I have to confess G; I didn't have somewhere else to be I... I just couldn't be there anymore."

He chuckled, "It's OK, the Lord will forgive you and so will I, why did you feel you had to go, if I may ask?"

I felt my cheeks redden.

"Well, if I'm being honest, the sermon about jezebel was a little too real for me. I felt so ashamed, even in church to be ...tempted." I said with a look of genuine shame. Whatever hopes of pulling off a look of innocence was quickly fading.

"We're all tempted at times, I'm no exception," it was said so smoothly it almost sounded like an invitation to ...as quickly as I started the sentence, I told myself not to finish it. What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm doing exactly what I just admitted being ashamed of.

"Strength in numbers," I said quietly, more to myself as a comforting thought.

"Pardon?"

"I said, strength in numbers; it's nice to know it's not just me."

He looked relieved to hear those words, maybe because I said it like a 'yes' to his invitation?

Is he flirting back? All the signs are there, the tone, his smile and now he was leaning in closing the distance between us.

"It's definitely not just you, I feel it, uh I mean I've felt it too."

I don't know what came over me, but I leaned in, just to test the waters and he didn't back away. He said he felt it, present tense.

The neutral zone had been breached, the center cushion. I was propping myself up, my arm pressing into my side and pushing my breasts further together and peeking out of the top of my shirt. I could see they were showing themselves prominently at the top of the scoop neck of my shirt. They looked very perky from my perspective, and I assume he agreed since I caught him stealing a glimpse.

I wasn't crazy, I knew I felt something, as if on cue to confirm my thoughts, he licked his lips and shifted a bit towards me.

The gap was getting smaller, he touched my hand and didn't move it, I didn't move mine away either.

He continued to ask me about Jezebel, joking he'd be interested in hearing our similarities.

"She knew how to read men and use their weaknesses and her sexuality to get what she wanted."

"Is that what you do?" he asked coyly with a devilish grin.

"Sometimes..." I said in a sexy whisper as I leaned in to kiss him.

Our lips touched and stayed there for about 1.5 seconds before he pulled away, hurriedly.

Oh my gosh! I'd completely misread the situation, and I wish the couch would swallow me up or the universe would do me this one solid and reverse time to 5 minutes ago before I lost my mind.

"Well, um I uh really should be going, I'll leave our leaflet here for you, thank-you for the tea." At the same time, he was saying the words he was already by the door sliding into his shoes. I got up, trying to apologize but he left so quickly. Fled would be more accurate. I followed just as quickly behind him, but he was so fast, and I saw his back with the door closing behind him.

I'm going to hell in a hand basket.

I locked the door, leaned against it and slumped to the ground and gently proceeded to bang the back of my head on the door hoping to knock some sense back into it. My entire body felt like it was on fire with embarrassment, I felt stupid, and dirty. Very dirty. A bloody Deacon from the church Samira, really?!

I couldn't even be bothered to clean up the cups and side plates off the coffee table. I literally picked myself up and ran upstairs to go shower to cleanse myself and cool off. A cold shower can be equally effective for women too.

I started with cold water, the shock to my system was just what I needed to get my head on straight. As humiliation rolled off me and down the drain with the cold water, I slowly turned the water warmer until it was almost burning my skin. How fitting, burning flesh, might as well get used to hell now.

The bathroom filled with steam, and I happily let myself get lost in the fog until I heard some noise in the background. It sounded kind of familiar, but it wasn't clear, and I couldn't quite place it. I heard it a few more times. It was the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

I got out of the shower and wrapped towel around myself and rushed down the stairs thinking this must be an emergency, yelling out "Hang on, coming, I'm coming!"

I didn't even check the peephole, flinging open the door I saw none other than G standing there.

"You will," he said.

"What?" I was caught off guard by him being at my door for one, a little breathless and I had no idea what he was talking about and was utterly confused.

"Can I come in?" I stepped back and let him in clutching the towel closer to my body starting to get cold as the air was finding every droplet on my hot skin.

"I'm sorry to have interrupted your shower, and I'm sorry to have left so abruptly."

He strode past me, took off his shoes and making his way back into the living room tossed his coat on the armchair. He was moving so casually as if he'd been here a thousand times. I wasn't sure what to do in my current attire, but it didn't seem to faze him, so I said what needed to be said. My confession.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you, I thought we were... I don't know, I felt something, that's all. I'm sorry again, I'm mortified."

"Don't be. You weren't wrong, I just felt guilty, I'm supposed to be a man of cloth, here, representing the church and instead I'm lusting over you. Even now, I'm trying to hold myself back from pulling down your towel and taking you," he said looking me up and down like I was his last supper.

"Then don't hold back, and we'll pray for forgiveness together."

I don't know where I got the balls to say that, but this was happening so fast and despite my cold shower I was keenly aware of my need to have him. There was just something about his smile and those perfect teeth. I wanted his lips to glisten with my sex.

"I'm gonna make you cum, that's what I said earlier, you will cum for me." He said it with such confidence I felt the wetness in between my thighs spread. Much warmer and smoother than the water and I had no doubt he would keep his word.

Stepping towards me, inches from my face, I wondered if he could feel my heartbeat coming out of my chest. We locked eyes and neither of us waivered. Now I could feel him, his growing erection, his breath getting quicker matching mine. His warm hands unraveling the towel and wrapping it around my back gently drying me off from the nape of my neck all the way down until he reached the curve of my ass where he lingered and squeezed the bottoms and rocked me towards him.

Garnett was even harder now; I could easily feel him through his pants. He followed the pink towel all the way to the ground, looking up at me all the while kissing me and licking me down the line, past my collarbone, in between my breasts, in my navel and I stood there naked as the day I was born, soaking in this beautiful black man caressing me in the middle of my living room.

He paused still looking up at me, giving me an out maybe before he lowered and kissed my nearly naked pubic region. On his knees still looking up at me and me down at him, I wasn't going anywhere. His lips landed softly on the equally soft short, small tuft of hair before sliding the tip of his warm tongue in between my slit to taste me. More like tease me with the tip of his tongue.

He shaped his pink warm tongue long like a finger and the top seemed to reach deep into me. In the next moment he flattened it out and lapped at me taking in all my juices, blowing warm air in my tightening pussy with sucking swirls. Even though he was the one on his knees seemingly in prayer, mine were the ones being answered. I already prayed for a man who could make me cum in minutes with just his tongue.

I heard myself letting out mini whimpers. I could feel it coming, he could to and increased the darting speed of that masterful tongue until I shuddered and covered his mouth in my warm silkiness. He was holding onto my ass, and I was so thankful he was there to steady me if not I'm sure I would have fallen to the ground. My knees knocked and I was warm all over, I bent down to pick up my towel to use it to wipe in between my legs but he whispered in my ear,

"Leave it. I'll clean you up."

What had escaped him before he now licked and kissed softly leaving his lips lacquered in my pussy juices. I'd hoped he would just keep moving upward and resume his previous position.

Unfortunately, he stood up leaving my towel at my feet and moved his hands up my curves all the way until he was holding the back of my head and kissed me deeply. That dirty feeling came back, I loved tasting myself.

The smell of his cologne dancing with the smell of my desires was intoxicating. And I wanted him even more. I wanted to have him all over me, all in me, and fuck him on every surface in my house.

I was very confident with my body but standing naked in front of this man with his eyes looking at me, really seeing me, made me feel a little vulnerable. I wanted to admire him too.

"Take off your shirt," I said to him, and he replied,

"Why don't you do it, I'd like you to undress me."

Between my nakedness and our height differential I felt small in comparison to his stature. I wanted to start at the pants, because I tend to rush to the best parts, but I restrained myself.

I was thankful he only had three pieces to get past and appreciated the mini-challenge and I'd do my best to oblige him.

He moved his feet until he was standing with them hip width apart and lifted his dark chocolate pipes above his head. I guess that was my hint where he wanted me to start. The white cotton fabric was accumulating in the space between my thumb and forefinger while the rest of my hands moved up his toned chest. I followed his little trail of hair past his navel, over his abs taking note of his hard pecs and nipples.

I kissed each one once they were fully revealed and his shirt had reached his round shoulders. I had to go on my tippy toes even though he was arched over to help me pull it past his flexed biceps and off. Now I could see his upper body in full. I flung the t-shirt out of my hand; I was even more excited to see if God had equally blessed his bottom half.

I was at his belt and jeans and resisted the urge to tear them off, but I went slow, almost painfully so. If he was going to make me wait, so he was he. I traced my warm body and erect nipples down his chest until I was on my knees. Even from down here I could feel his breaths floating over me in quicker successions. He was looking downward at me, watching me tug at his belt and undo it releasing the buckle and pulling it through, letting it swing a bit and hit him on his ass. He stumbled forward a little and saw me smirking.

His pants loosened a little, I undid his button and unzipped them, but they were still holding on. He looked pleased with my progress and stepped out of his jeans, resuming his position. Only one more piece to go. I used my hands to trace his hardness, he had a beautifully shaped cock. I sat back on my knees and put my hands behind my back. I put my mouth on his crotch, my teeth clenched on the waistband of his boxer briefs, and I pulled down far enough that his cock sprang out and actually hit me in my face. Best slap in the face ever. Finally, I'll get to taste him.

Standing at his full length and hard as hell in perfect line with my mouth I licked at his tip. Just the tip, flicking up and down on it, it glistened as the pre-cum started seeping from his smooth mushroom shaped head. Now that I had all of him, I sucked on him - just his knob. He tasted earthy, his texture was warm and extra creamy. The more I tasted, the more I wanted. I grabbed onto his ass to give me more leverage so I could go deeper. I went deeper and deeper, up and down his length until I gagged and withdrew all the way leaving a trail of stringy saliva and cum from his tip to my lips. I looked up to see his head back and that look of sheer pleasure on his face, he'd parted his legs wider after the first deep throat.