Black. Biracial. Mixed-race. At some point, I've used all of these terms to describe myself. Today I am only me. Wanda Beaumont. Friends call me W.B. for short. I was born in the City of Toronto, province of Ontario, to a Haitian mother and Irish-Canadian father. My biological father Sean O'Leary never married my mother, and in fact, he had to be forced by the Canadian court system to provide for me. He really didn't want anything to do with my mother and I. A lot of White guys will fuck a Black woman if given the chance but they're not looking for marriage, contrarily to what a lot of Black females tell themselves. My White father wasn't anyone's idea of a knight in shining armor. Far from it. In fact, he once told me I'm the result of a one-night-stand, and nothing more. Yeah, my biological father is a sure-fire contender for the Father of the Year award, isn't he?
I wish I could say that my mother was much better but I'd be lying. I wasn't raised by a Black superwoman, that's for damn sure. My mother, Mina Beaumont, had some serious issues. As a plump, dark-skinned Haitian female immigrant living in Toronto, surrounded by Whiteness and opulence, she developed some serious self-hatred. My mother hates Black people, especially Black men, whom she consistently referred to thugs, hustlers and impregnators throughout her lifetime. The fact that she had me with a White man who didn't love her and didn't want anything to do with her or me doesn't seem to register with her. Hailing from such a dysfunctional pair, it's a miracle that I lived to a relatively normal adulthood.
Mom used to say that Black people were lazy and useless, yet she didn't see any irony in her saying that given that almost every few months she went to the Social Services agency with a sob story. She would squeeze out them crocodile tears and get a welfare check. The rest of the time she worked as a hair stylist. I couldn't understand why she couldn't get a regular job. Seriously. A lot of people work the nine to five to take care of themselves and their families. Why couldn't my mother do it? She had no criminal record and no physical disabilities. Sure, she stuttered a bit but so what? Toronto is a town full of immigrants and everyone down there talks funny! It took me a while to realize that my mother was lazy, just like she accused other folk of being.
I grew up to be a six-foot-one, slim and fit young woman with caramel skin, long curly Black hair and pale green eyes. Sometimes people ask me if I'm Hispanic and once upon a time I would have said yes because I felt ashamed of my Blackness. Not anymore. Today I am happy to say that I am proud of my African heritage. I consider myself a Black woman through and true. Never mind that my mother raised me to hate myself and other people of African descent. Never mind that in my mother's twisted way of looking at things, White people were perfect and Black folk were less than nothing. I have learned to love myself. I owe it all to one amazing man I met in the most unlikely of places.