It took about three months after my divorce until I started to feel something other than depressed. For three months, and for the year prior to the divorce, I'd felt like a failure; bitter, hopeless, and lonely. And after those three months of, well, grieving, I guess, I started to feel something else. Free.
It was time to do something crazy. Something I never could have brought myself to do while married to my high-school sweetheart. I wanted to be sexy; I wanted one-night stands and random sex in restaurant bathrooms. I wanted to enjoy what I assumed most people enjoyed in high school and college that I had never gotten to. I wanted to be a hot, sex-crazed slut.
The problem was, I didn't know how. I had zero dating experience, and I was now in my mid-30s. I felt like dating would be painfully awkward. I didn't have much time to date anyway. I had a demanding job and was also a part-time adjunct professor for the local community college. And honestly, I didn't want a relationship. At all. I had been married for 15 years. I wanted to be single for the first time in my adult life. I wanted to decorate my house exactly the way I wanted. I wanted to go on vacations where I wanted to go, and do things I wanted to do. No more compromise or surrendering to the will of someone else.
I hesitantly looked at ads on craigslist and other avenues, but they terrified me. Too much of an imagination, I guess, and too many horror movies and books. I had heard of Tinder, but I hated the thought of someone "swiping left" on my picture, or anyone even finding out I was on there. What if a co-worker or a student of mine was on there? I didn't dare ask any of my friends-- they would have been shocked that I wanted random hookups and I would have been mortified. This little secret quest was all mine, and it looked like it would continue to be all mine as I slumped into grudging acceptance that I was out of luck. I'd just go on watching people having crazy sex online and using my good ol' Rabbit.
Then one evening, as I finished up teaching my accounting class at the community college and was packing up my materials, I noticed a student had left their backpack on the floor next to their desk. I walked over to pick it up, intending to identify which of my students had left it so I could email them. I looked for a tag on the bag and saw nothing. So I unzipped the main pocket and found a couple textbooks, an iPad, and a red folder. I opened the red folder, assuming I'd see some assignment or something with a name on top, but what I found was way, way more interesting.
There were a couple assignment-looking papers in there, but what caught my eye was a red piece of paper that looked like a flyer, but thicker, textured paper. "Maison du Sexe" was on top in scrolling, golden, shiny font. The rest of it was elegant illustrations of what looked like pictorial aides from the Kamasutra. The only other information was an address and a very long, complicated URL.
Suddenly panicked that the student would burst into the classroom at any second and bust me looking at their dirty flyer, stuffed it back in the folder and zipped the bag up. My heart fluttered. What was this "Maison du Sexe?" Why was I so excited? It was probably a frat house party or a play or something. I went to the door, opened it, and looked up and down the empty hallway. Then I went back to the backpack and retrieved the flyer. Why would a party or a play need a URL? Then again, I wasn't exactly "in the know" about what college students did for fun. There was something about it, though, that made me want to learn more. I didn't know exactly what that something was, but I took a picture of the flyer with my phone, replaced it, found a name on an assignment in the other pocket of the folder, and finished gathering my things to leave. I dropped the bag at the front desk on the way out.
I usually have a ritual when I come home from teaching an evening class. Pour myself a glass of wine, pop some popcorn, and put on one of my shows. This evening, went right to the kitchen table, grabbed my laptop from my bag, found the picture on my phone, and typed in that crazy URL. Well, I typed it in three times, as I must have missed a letter or character the first two times. It was a really, really long URL.
The webpage was just a red screen with small writing on it saying, "Verify your age." I complied, and after hoping that I remembered to update my anti-virus software, clicked "Enter." Another simple red screen, this time with "Maison du Sexe" in the center and a menu on the left. I clicked About:
"Maison du Sexe provides you with a fantasy that is meticulously tailored to your tastes and preferences. Completely safe, discreet, and wonderfully exciting. Fill out an order form and include as much or as little detail as you wish. Schedule your appointment and prepare for an adventure you will not soon forget."
My eyes widened. A sex order form? MUST. SEE. ORDER FORM. I clicked back and found the last menu option was the order form. For the next half hour, I read it over and over. There was the personal information section, which wanted to know your gender, age, sexual orientation, and the lot. I also saw that here you check a box saying you've included health information. Whatever; I'd look into that later. Then the rest of it got very interesting.
Type of encounter you're interested in: Sex, watching.
Check the following categories for your experience: One-on-one hetero One-on-one same sex Threesome (MMM, MMF, FFM, FFF) Anal Vaginal Oral Masturbation Gangbang Mature Bondage
What feeling do want associated with the experience: Loving Rough Anonymous Degraded Worshipped Dominated Sweet and gentle Other
Your types: Skin tone: Hair color: Build: Age range: Facial hair: Tattoos: Other:
List any fetishes you'd like to incorporate.
List anything you absolutely will not do or what would make you unhappy.
Check the following props you'd like used: Vibrators Dildos Bonds Lingerie (This list went on and on...)
There were more categories and more spaces to type in specific requests. It was literally designing your perfect sexual experience. I had a million thoughts swimming in my head. Who would be providing these services? How does this business even operate? What kind of person does this? Is this safe? Is this too fabricated to be exciting? Could I get in trouble? Is this a real place, or some elaborate joke to find out strangers' sexual appetites? And most importantly, how much does it cost?
I wanted to find out more. I certainly couldn't ask my student. Could I just go there? Could I be that brave?
I clicked around some more and found the price list. It reminded me of the price list at my salon: eyebrows, facials, leg waxing, color, cut, style... except of course the items on this list were quite a bit different. And a hell of a lot more expensive. I deflated a little. Maybe the expense would make the decision for me.
After shutting my laptop, I tried to go into my regular routine. I popped the popcorn. I put on my show. But I wasn't eating and I wasn't paying any attention. I decided I needed a little relief and went upstairs.
I pulled my pink Rabbit out of my night stand drawer and a small bottle of lube. Then I laid down on the bed and began imagining the Maison du Sexe. What would I put on my order form? Maybe a muscle-bound 20-something meathead to just pound away at me. Maybe I'd just watch a couple fucking and doing all the things I watch online. I started touching myself. Maybe I'd watch for a while and then they'd beg me to join in and I would. Maybe I'd have a sexy little redhead woman lick me in between my legs. I'd never had an experience with a woman.
I put the lube on my vibrator and started rubbing it gently over my mound. I turned the vibrations to the lowest level and just stroked slowly while I pictured the sexy couple in my mind worshipping me with their mouths and hands. They squeezed my breasts and sucked on my neck. She pushed her fingers inside me while pushing her tongue in my mouth. Then she migrated down and pushed her tongue flat against my mound and moved it rhythmically in circles. The man turned my head toward him and pushed his long, hard cock through my lips. I pushed the head of the vibrator inside me and started slowly pushing it in and out, deeper every time. My fantasy turned to two men. I was on my knees and had one in my mouth and one inside my pussy from behind. The man in my mouth grabbed my hair. The man behind slapped my ass as he pumped his giant rod in and out of me. I turned the vibrator up and started working it faster. The fluttering clitoral stimulant giving me jolts of pleasure when connecting. I pumped it inside me faster and faster, and let out a groan as I felt my orgasm building inside of me.
Now my fantasy was a group of men. They bent me over a couch and took turns just using my pussy and treating me like a prop. Just hard and fast, every one. In and out. No relief. They shot their cum all over my back and ass and some in my waiting mouth. And my orgasm came hard. I held my vibrator still while I groaned and sighed through it.