I started out by saying that I am an older woman who mostly has sex with men who are younger than her. Soon that became my sexual lifestyle -- I decided that I want only young men in my bed. Not men my age, who are jaded and have experienced so much already. I pursue men who are young enough to be my son. They are mere boys who are still almost virginal and so eager for sexual experience, willing to give me what I want because they are so excited to try so many things they've only seen in porn.
There was a time when I felt a little ashamed of my desires. Not to mention my success in finding young men who would be willing accomplices. The pay-off, it must be said, made it all very worthwhile.
My young men have been virile and energetic and fabulous lovers -- after some training. Its not all been plain sailing though. Younger guys are not like the ones we end up marrying. They can be dedicated lovers while in bed. But they don't tend to stay focussed for long. They get attracted to other shiny things and to young women more their own age. The usual things happen like falling in love and having to satisfy the demands of a new girlfriend. That is healthy for them and, mostly it has suited me. I don't need a permanent lover. But making room for a girlfriend can have a downside.
The bad news is that Brady called off another of our Sunday play sessions. I could have predicted it would happen. Maybe not quite so soon. But he is getting serious with Emily. They spent another Saturday night sleeping together which meant Brady was not available for me the next morning.
I know how that reads. And I am really happy for them both. They are becoming a proper couple now and its good that they have the blessings of their parents to sleep together and have a grown-up sex life.
But, of course, I was unhappy that Brady cancelled our usual appointment. Sunday morning sex with a horny young man has been the centrepiece of my sex life for so long. I can't remember how that came about -- it just happened, somehow.
Sex with Brady is always so delicious. You have to understand that I need my boys -- especially Brady since he is so well-trained. He knows what I like and he never fails to deliver. Every woman deserves that. Moreso after a boring marriage like I endured.
Brady was a quick learner. I suppose most young men are. They are eager to please and to be rewarded so it is easier to teach them and make sure they do all the right things. Because now I have the time, and the confidence, to show them how to be a good lover. It was different when I was that age, around nineteen and twenty. Those boys were not good lovers and they never stuck around long enough to learn. I wouldn't have known what to do. But those youthful flings were exciting at the time. Even the hurried, fumbled sex with a boy in his cramped bedroom. Then came marriage and soon my sex life was predictable and tame.
Now I am a middle-aged woman who makes sure my young men give me what I need. I am a cougar and I know how to keep them coming back for more. Lately, sex with Brady had been even more intense -- not surprising since I've become very uninhibited. Maybe that's the reason it was so hard to miss out on a regular session. And I admit I've always been keen on his dick with its lovely curve and how it feels inside me.
Still, the day always arrives when my boys find a serious sweetheart or want to move-in with their girlfriend. Ryan was the first time I experienced that. I understand that the urgings of love become too strong and they want to spend all their spare time with their young, sexy girl. It is a natural part of life for that age. Even sweet Clayton had to start giving more time to his Sara.
Honestly, I have never wanted to keep one of my boys for too long. I don't want them being attached to me. A fling with an older woman should be just that - a chance for them to learn and to gain some wonderful experience. I don't want a long-term relationship, some almost-man becoming clingy with me. Would he be my boyfriend or my son? I care for all my boys and I don't want to stunt them. Its better when they find a proper love interest. And its very satisfying to know that my boys will be able to pleasure their girlfriends and future wives.
My sexual lifestyle means lots of exciting sex. And I can have variety. I don't need a permanent lover when there are still more boys to discover. It's a perfect antidote to years with a boring husband and boring sex-life. At my age I am still in the middle of my sexual peak. It is thrilling just to think about trying a new young man and his lovely penis.
I have kept Brady for many months. And I've always known that I was sharing him with Emily. She has no idea and perhaps I ought to feel bad about that. But Brady has been special. All of my boys are special but in different ways. Somehow Brady made me feel like I could explore new things, try new pleasures. He was so sweet and easy-going that I felt confident about shedding some of my inhibitions. I could be more dirty and slutty. There were new sex acts that I'd never contemplated. It was even more fun because we were the "first" for each other.
The first time for a threesome. That was an experiment, almost an accident. Sex with two young men at the same time. Brady took that in his stride. It was very affirming that he was willing to show off his older lover to his friend. But I don't think I'll repeat it.
We shared our "first" when it came to facials. I was surprised myself with how much fun I had. I thought I'd feel violated by taking his semen on my face. But once I got past my fear it was liberating to be so primal.
And we were both virgins in anal sex. Again, I needed to get beyond my fear. Curiosity got the better of me. Brady gave me some unforgettable experiences with his penis screwing my bum. But will I try that with another boy?
All those acts were extra exciting because Brady didn't know that he was my first. I feel no shame or regret part for exploring with him. How else would I have ever known if I could go so far -- or that I enjoy such taboo pleasures? Brady will always be one of my lovely young men.
He has given me something to think about. But my time with Brady is coming to a natural conclusion. Perhaps it will give me encouragement to look for another boy -- I still desire having two lovers.
When Brady called me on that Sunday night, he wanted to offer a booty call. But I was still feeling unhappy. So I told him no.
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The good news is that Mathew is doing very well as my new lover. He shows no sign of wanting to miss any of our appointments. He always arrives on time. And I find myself getting hot and bothered every time I think of him. It is heavenly when he is in my bed. I am enjoying Matthew even though he is so inexperienced and raw that he might as well be a virgin.
In truth, I get turned-on by showing him, teaching him, to try new things and improve his technique. And he is an attentive and obedient pupil.
He came to me for our next play looking very sexy -- and still a little nervous. Already he knows how to dress for me with tight T-shirts that show off his fabulous young muscles. I don't think it will be long before I give him his own key to my apartment. That night I opened the door for him, wearing an over-sized T-shirt and nothing else. Yes, I was wanting to impress Matthew, show him that older woman are more confident and sexual than his timid ex-girlfriend. I was thinking that he'd like to see more of my toned legs. He could not miss my nipples, as hard as bullets.
We kissed right in the doorway. I held him, wanting to feel those muscles that I'd been dreaming about.
"I've been thinking about you all day," I breathed to him and I felt him squeeze me a little tighter in his hug -- a lovely response. Could he feel my heart as it tried to leap out of my chest?
Taking his hand, I led him to my bedroom. I was still wearing my T-shirt but I already felt practically naked in front of this young man. It was lovely to hold his hand. As if I was leading him to something special and unexpected. But he could not have mistaken my intentions.
For a woman like me, an older woman at her sexual peak who needs young men like Matthew, the question is how much control I should take. Do I want to come across as horny and keen? Or is that interpreted as desperate? Am I a rapacious cougar who cannot wait to devour her prey? Or a sexy teacher and guide?
But Matthew was right there and, at that moment, I didn't care. I went to my knees in front of him. I wanted to do that. It felt good, like a ritual we have already established. It could be a submissive act, I suppose. But a man will do almost anything for a woman who wants to suck him. My kneeling signified that I was taking charge of my sweet young man.
