"Try not to take overlong in the shower. Ms Catawnee would like us to remember there is a drought on for LA county. And mute your SI App for the weekend, you won't need it."
I almost walked right past him in my half-awake stupor. Honestly, I should have stopped in the bathroom, thrown some water on my face and maybe hit the newsstand for one of those five-hour energy things that makes my chest ache but keeps me up for a few hours if I need it to.
Instead, I headed for sunlight and noise. You'd honestly think a city-by like me would know better.
"Mister Maxwell Connors? Sir? Maxwell Connors?"
The voice was unfamiliar, but I still could recognize my own name (Hey! Improvement!). I looked around and saw a young man holding one of those move the letter signs with my name on it. Guy looked snappily dressed in livery of some sort, clean, tidy and disturbingly awake at what was, even for me, an ungodly hour of the day. I wasn't sure if I admired his get-up-and-go or hated him for being a morning person.
"MAx," I croaked. Quite literally. My throat was dry as toast. I swallowed and tried again. "That's me. I'm Max Connors."
"Good morning, sir," he chipperly... chirped, coming close and reaching for my suitcase. Not sure why, but I let him take it. "My name is Juan. I've been sent by the studio to take you where you will be staying."
"Where AM I staying?" I shook off a little fatigue and followed him outside where the hot air, even in the early morning, shocked my system.
"I don't really know sir," Juan led me past a few cabs and town cars to a long white limo. I didn't even ride in a limo to prom. "I'm with a service and the studio just gave us an address. It's not a hotel; I can tell you that much."
"Why do I feel like I just walked onto the plot of an old detective movie? Maybe something by Agatha Christie where a bunch of strangers are brought together and slowly murdered one by one?" I sighed, knowing my irritation with flight had resurfaced, in spite of the distractions provided by Joyce and Tamira.
"'Ten Little Indians'. Also known as 'And Then There Were None'." Juan nodded and handed in my suitcase. "Good story and a good movie. I like the 1974 version best."
"Not helping Juan."
"No sir. Sorry sir."
'Let's just get there. The sooner they murder me the better." Yes, I was complaining unnecessarily. Three days of frantic writing that still needed major editing to be presentable, a flight where I didn't get much rest for significantly better reasons and now some well-rested morning person with a disgustingly happy attitude- tired and irritated just about covers it.
"Long flight sir?" Juan asked from the driver's seat as he pulled the big car out into traffic.
Or not long enough with two hot-to-go flight attendants in a small, cramped space but he didn't need to know that.
"I'm not a good flyer," I confessed instead, looking around the interior of the limo. "Is there any coffee?"
"I can stop sir, if you like." Juan offered helpfully. I suppose the idea of keeping a pot of boiling water in an unsecured space like the back of a moving vehicle is considered 'bad'. "Or you can help yourself to the mini-bar?"
I spotted the nice decanters and a small fridge built into the seat opposite me. Felt a bit early for scotch, especially on little sleep and an empty stomach. I opted for the old standby and started chugging the orange juice plain.
"The address is in the West Hills so we should be there in about a half hour sir," he informed me as we rolled through the slowly awakening city in the early dawn. "You can catch a bit of a nap if you like."
A sane man might try to stay awake. To get his bearings in an unfamiliar city, especially one the size of Los Angeles. To take in the sights of one of the world's most famous places, even if only from the backseat of a car. To enjoy the beauty of the West Coast with its palm trees and warm breezes off the Pacific. To maybe catch a glimpse of some star out for a morning jog or trundling out to get coffee. Writers are not sane people. I was asleep before he finished talking.
Juan, to his credit, did not wake me when we arrived at the place I would be staying. He wisely left that chore to the attractive young woman in the white blouse and pencil skirt now sitting beside me in the limo gently shaking my shoulder.
"Mister Connors? Time to wake up sir. You've arrived."
"I'm up!" I jolted awake with a start, blinking furiously to clear my eyes and unfuzz my brain. Ah, panic adrenaline. Gotta love it. "I'm up! Where am I?"