I couldn't believe it. After two years, complete with absolutely no contact and not so much as a passing hello, I was preparing for a night alone with him. Now that graduation had come and gone, the age of 18 had finally been reached, I could go on freely with my life. No more parents to condemn me to a life of dull conversations with life forms that had never so much as mumbled thoughts of sexual interactions. My mother would have to find another life to stick her nose in. I had finally been let go. What would had I chosen to do with this sudden freedom? Simple. I'd finally decided to catch up with that one boy who never quite left my mind. How was I planning on doing this? Even more simple.
He had invited me to dinner at his parents' vacation cabin in the mountains. It wasn't really hard to hide that I was harboring some insecurities about a meeting in a secluded place. Hell, people stab bitches. After about a month of persuading, he finally changed my mind, and here I was, stepping into a slinky red dress, ready to rumble. Sure, it would be about an hours drive for a simple evening, but my heart told me that the time with him would be worth it.
I could feel the excitement growing inside me as I squatted before my closet, picking out which shoes would go with the dress I had bought for the night. My body stiffened a bit. The memories of the last day we spent together still fumbled through my mind, showed up in my dreams, and seemed to always be there when I least expected. I moved from shoes to underwear. A bra wouldn't be necessary, so I picked out a black thong and slid it up over my hips. The promises I kept making to myself seemed valid at the time. We would go no farther than kissing, and probably not even that, the point was to catch up on two years of lost friendship.
Even I knew that most of what I continued to tell myself was bullshit. Through the entire eight years of knowing each other, we'd never been capable of carrying on one conversation without sex being brought up once. Perhaps, to most people, that aspect would become more than a bother, but to me it was comforting. Comforting to know that I could be completely open about the desires I couldn't stop myself from having, and I had my share of discussions that told me I wasn't alone on that one.
I stopped in front of my mirror. Originally I had never planned to put this much effort into how I appeared. When the plans had first been set, I'd figured I'd simply wear a simple t-shirt and some jeans, nothing too fancy. Where was the point in parading my body for a boy who may have completely changed? To my very limited knowledge, the boy could've moved on with many different girls in the two years I was completely absent from his life. The terms which we stood on still were not quite completely clear to me. For now, we were two friends who were trying to salvage some type of communication. I was fine with it being simply that. I think.
My brown hair fell over my shoulders, covering up the amount of cleavage I had permitted myself to show. Good, I thought. There was no way I was going to make it extremely obvious what exactly I had on my mind. All I was certain of at that moment was that I better get my ass into the car and get going, or I would be late.
After making one wrong left turn, ending up at three different dead ends, and almost running out of gas, I had finally made my way into the driveway of what looked like the right cabin. Picture perfect, the cabin was exactly what one would think of when imagining a mountain get away. A bit of jealousy began to grow inside me. Maybe if my parents had a secret mountain lodge, then Tyler and I could've gotten on with growing close again a long time ago. A deep breath. I wasn't exactly feeling so sure that I could handle this. However, looking at the log structure in front of me, it was quite easy to feel that things had progressed to the point of 'too late to turn back now.'
As if to confirm my thoughts, just as I began to open the door to my car, he stepped out the front door. My eyes met his almost instantly, and boy was I surprised. His brown curly hair had grown at least 5 inches since I'd last seen him, and his body wasn't that far behind. If I had a yard stick, I'm almost certain he would've been a good foot taller than myself. Personally I liked a tall man, it helped with the sense of security. I'd never have days when I wouldn't feel safe if he was near. This could work.
He walked closer, and already my head was spinning. With each step my heart was growing louder; I could almost feel it in my ears. Not hear it, but actually feel it pounding in my ear. Tyler had always had a way of doing nothing at all and still doing enough to make me sweat. It wasn't out of the question that assuming he could give me the look of death and my heart would still melt, but that's just an assumption. He flashed a quick smile; goose bumps rose on my arms. Instant charmer, that kid.
"Well, don't you look pretty?" Maybe it was my imagination, but his voice sounded as shaky as my knees were feeling. More comfort, I thought. I wasn't the only one here who was nervous to the point of being queasy.
I smiled sheepishly, wrapping my arms around him when he got close enough, suddenly finding myself engulfed in the heat of his skin against mine. Too many days had passed since I'd been able to feel that sensation, and now I couldn't help but discover how much I had really missed it.
"You don't look so bad yourself, boy. You could do something with that mane you have hanging from the top of your head, though," I replied, tugging a little at his hair. Again, he smiled and laughed.
Things between us seemed to have frozen in time; they were exactly the way they were when we'd ended. Both of us were standing there, wrapped in each others arms within the first two minutes of coming in contact. We stood there warm to each other, as if no time had passed at all.
An awkward moment of just looking at each other presented itself. Soon he slid his arms from around my back and grabbed my hand in the 'excited little kid' fashion, and we were on our way through the front door. The smell of wood and pine hit my face as soon as I stepped in the door. A large spiral staircase stood to my left, hand-painted portraits filtered throughout the walls, and there was an odd green color shag carpet that was taking me by surprise. It was pretty to easy to see that the cabin was meant for vacations. It hadn't quite obtained that homey feeling.
Tyler had laced his fingers with mine during the two seconds I dedicated to observing the place. Smooth. Continuing on into the house, I soon stood before a big screen T.V. mounted on the wall, and a quite adorable family space. Somehow, the typical mountain cabin had transformed into a hang out place for a bunch of teenagers. Bean bags were scattered throughout the large living area, a leather couch was set against one of the walls, and there was a closet displaying an expert collection of the latest board games. Some delicious smells were drifting from somewhere behind me.
"So, what's on the menu, my dear?" I asked, turning to face him.
"Well, I made an attempt at cooking you something, but after most of it went up in flames, I figured something a little more common might be the best solution for my lack of skills." He disappeared through a swinging door, but soon returned with a Papa John's pizza box in one hand and what looked like the smoldering remains of some type of meat in the other. A small laugh escaped me. We sat on the couch and both selected our first slice after Tyler had put an unheard of movie in the DVD player. I barely felt him at all when he slid his arm around my waist, but when I noticed, I wasn't about to object. I leaned against him, and got lost in the movie.
Thunder echoed through the house at about 9:30. The movie had long ended and we found ourselves playing twister to the best of our abilities. Tyler had his right hand on red, left foot on blue, and I was pretty much spread across the entire board. We were both quickly learning that balance wasn't either of our strong suits. The news was now blaring as we bickered about Tyler's stomach coming dangerously close to making contact with the floor. Of course, He was pretty adamant that he was a good three inches from the floor, but I knew he was brushing the board. Apparently, using my foot to push him completely over wasn't the best choice for me, because he took me down with him. Our legs entangled together, he was positioned above me.
"We're expecting heavy thunder storms throughout the night and into early morning tomorrow.."
The weather report seemed to come out of thin air. Neither one of us had exactly being paying attention to the storm brewing outside, but now it was hard to ignore.
Thunder again, somehow seeming closer this time. Glancing out the window at the lightning streaking through the sky, I sighed, storms had always made me uncomfortable. I think I'd always believed that I would end up becoming the one out of a million that would be struck by lightning.
"I better get out of here before the roads get too bad." Even I could hear the disappointment in my tone.
Tyler was still hovering above me, so close he could've easily stolen a kiss. At that moment all I was really taking in was the deep blue of his eyes, the absolutely perfect smoothness of his lips, and taking in the desire I was harboring for him to just go ahead and do it already. Laying underneath him, his upper body pressed against mine, I began to doubt his nerve, until I felt his fingertips brushing up my thigh. Again I felt my heart beating in my ears. Damn the rain, damn the storm.
"It's not that bad, plus it'll probably let up if you stay a while." Sadness crept into his eyes, and I wanted with all my heart for more time, but I knew that if I didn't leave now, I'd end up getting stuck here, and that would be a sure fire way to lose what was forming into my freedom.
I kissed him softly, savoring for a sweet moment the feel of his lips against mine, and pushed softly against his side, giving him the cue to position himself else where.
"Another night, maybe I can stay longer, but I don't want to have any problems on the way home."
He didn't even try to hide the solemn look rising on his face, and well, I wasn't doing too well at disguising it either.
As I rose to my feet, I could feel his eyes on me, and stayed on me until I closed the front door behind me. Rain was pouring down so hard it was almost impossible to see my car already. This was not going to be easy. After preparing myself to embrace the cold rain, I stepped off the front porch. In the time it took me to negotiate through the rain to my car, my dress was clinging to my every curve. I didn't look forward to peeling it offer when I got home. My hands were shaking. The rain was so cold I was starting to lose feeling in most parts of my body. Why did this have to happen tonight? Of all fucking nights, it had to be tonight.
I fumbled with my keys for at least another three minutes, which did not help the clothing situation. Without a doubt, the dress was completely ruined. Drops of ice cold rain continued to slide down my legs and over my breasts. I tried not to notice my nipples becoming stiff as I finally got the key into the car. The key turned in the lock refreshingly easy, and I was as good as gone.
"Courtney!" Tyler's voice called to me. The rain covered up most of his volume, and I couldn't quite hear him completely. I glanced up, opening the driver door. He stood on the front porch, observing the rain and how severe the weather really looked.
