Hello, this is my first attempt at writing a piece of erotic fiction and I would welcome your feedback on the story. Please take a moment at the end to tell me what worked for you or what didn't.
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Falling snow covers the forest; a small doe wanders up to a cabin and stops. Her head held high and ears alert, she carefully steps forward.
Our skis stand next to wet backpacks and dripping coats. The fire cast dancing shadows on the ceiling and walls as gentle music and the scent of wood smoke fill the room. We sit close wrapped in a thick blanket sipping hot chocolate laced with Irish Cream.
I kiss your cheek and whisper, "I love how you taste."
You laugh, spilling a few drops of cocoa to your breast. Slowly I lower my head to lick the drops from your skin. You giggle as my hair tickles your neck. My lips explore your breast looking for more sweet drops and I hear a little sigh. You lift my head and offer me a bit of bread dripping with honey. I smile and kiss your fingertips. We take another sip of our cocoa and watch the fire dance.
"I had fun this afternoon," you whisper.
I answer with a sigh, "Hmmmm... so did I."
We started the afternoon next to a small campfire warming ourselves after a morning of cross-country skiing. We still had a few miles of trail to cover before the end of our day out. As I finished my last bite of cheese, you brushed a crumb of bread from my face and I leaned forward to kiss your lips. You pressed closer to me and I felt your hand on my thigh. The heat of your kiss burned into my body. All too soon the kiss ended with a quiet little moan.
I looked into your eyes and smiled.
We kicked snow over the fire and helped each other into our backpacks. You grabbed my bottom and whispered that you wanted to make love right there in the snow. I laughed and kissed you hard before dumping a bit of snow in your hair. After a few moments of squealing and flying snow, we stopped, kissed, brushed each other off, and finished clipping into the ski bindings while giggling about making love in the snow.
Our skis glided thru the fresh snow with only a whisper of sound; clouds of breath frosted our hair as we skied in silence. A wide-eyed doe gazed at us for a moment before vanishing into the trees. We stopped before skiing down into the valley; I wrapped my arms around you and looked out over the visa. You leaned back and sighed. My heart pounded with want.
A handful of snow broke my trance and I chased you down the slope. After a wild pursuit between the trees, we both tumbled to the snow. We laughed on our backs while snowflakes fell into our mouths. You rolled over and covered my lips with yours. I pulled you closer. Our skis fought, trying to twist our legs into impossible shapes. With a groan we rolled apart and laughed again.
With a little laugh, I said, "I want to make love with you."
"The cabin is just over the next hill," you whispered.
"I want to make love to you now, here in the snow," I breathed in a hoarse voice.
With a sly little smile you released your ski bindings and started to pull off my pack and said, "I hope you remembered to pack the sleeping bag"
"I have the bag and I put a small blanket in your pack," I chuckled as I helped you pull your pack off.
We tore open the packs and rolled out the sleeping bag and blanket on the snow while kissing and fumbling with zippers, buttons and laces. The cold air on our skin added fuel to the fire glowing in our bodies. My lips found a hard nipple and I sucked it into my mouth. You buried your fingers in my hair. I heard a quiet sigh and felt your hands move down my back before pulling me up to your lips. We kissed while sinking to our little cloth nest. You reached between us, gently searching for my cock.
Snowflakes melted on my back as you found your target and kissed me harder. I could feel your legs wrap around my hips as I searched for your opening and the warmth of your body. You made a little gasp as I entered you and your arms wrapped around my shoulders.
As the snow collected in your hair I moved in and out of your body. Our moans and sighs blended with movements of hips and thighs. Your fingers dug into my back, your legs clung to my hips; I pushed harder and faster. Snow spills into our little nest and melted around our bodies. My heart pounded harder as my fever built; I felt your body shake and your head rolled back. We cried out together, our bodies flowing together, yours engulfing mine as I poured into you.
We slowly melted apart, our bodies steaming as snowflakes melted on overheated skin. Soon we were rushing to retrieve clothes thrown carelessly in the snow--a top here, tights there, a snow-filled boot, gloves half buried by snow; a cap hung on a branch--and struggled to pull them over fast-cooling skin while we giggled like teenagers. Quickly the packs were stuffed and slipped back on between kisses, hugs, and shivers. Stepping back into our skis, we kissed once more before skiing across the valley and up the last hill to the cabin with its promise of a hot shower and a fire.
Side by side we skied up the gentle slope, speaking in hushed tones, not wanting to break the spell we wove only moments ago. Darkness already filled the valley below as we crested the hilltop. Pausing one last time, we shivered in the fading light and breathed in the cold fresh air. I took your hand in mine and whispered, "Thank you for loving me."
With a laugh, you pushed me down into the snow and dashed off to the cabin while I lay back, letting the flakes fall onto my face.
I stayed in the snow for a few moments, watching the flakes fall and enjoying the quiet of the forest. After I rolled over to follow you back to cabin I spotted the little doe in the fading light and smiled, thinking she might have watched us playing in the snow.
By the time I reached the cabin, you had already kicked off your boots and shed your backpack. Laughing at the snow still covering my clothes you said, "Bring in some more firewood and build up the fire while I get the bread in oven, then we can take a shower."
After carrying in a bundle of wood, I stirred up the coals we left buried in the fireplace and added a couple of large pieces of oak and shut the glass doors. I could hear you singing softly in the little kitchen as you punched down the bread dough before shaping it into a round loaf. On my way to the kitchen I dropped my coat and turned on some soft rock music.