"That's cute." I said, for maybe the fiftieth time.
"Hm...no, that's cuter." I said again.
I pointed to the red dress currently draped over a small black chair before me. My friend Trina looked at it and frowned.
She always did this to me; she would call me over before her date, ask me to dress her, complain that she's fat, and complain about her impending date. During this time, I would get happily tipsy on the fantastic wine selection her husband kept. And yes, I did say husband. Trina was quite wealthily, and hatefully married.
Though her husband was a beautiful wealthy man, with a kind heart, he also had a penchant for other beautiful men. I really couldn't blame him; I too, was a fan of beautiful men.
She didn't mind, she enjoyed the comfort she had through his money, and she'd never really been good at staying loyal anyhow. He was happy, his family had no idea, and he had fantastic arm candy for all of his parties. Not to mention, quite unbelievably, they were very good friends.
She was tall, had flaming red hair, and a fantastic body. Too bad she had no confidence. Her lack of it annoyed me. Rather than dwell on it, I simply sipped happily on my wine.
She had put the dress on by the time I snapped out of my reverie, and was standing hands on hips in front of me.
"I look fat." She flounced down into the little black chair.
"Trina you weigh ten fucking pounds you're not fat. In fact you need a steak dinner." I rolled over onto my back, careful not to spill my wine.
She sauntered over to the closet, where I heard her rustling for shoes. "He's a doctor. Or at least, that's what everyone tells me."
This is where I get the low down on her new beau.
"Oh yeah?" I said, pretending to be interested. When in fact I was studying the fantastic architecture of the high ceiling.
"Yeah," I saw a shoe fly low over my head, "he's really sexy. Tall, dark, handsome. Apparently he does have an accent."
"How do you know he's sexy, you haven't seen him." I said.
She was very big on appearances. Come to think of it, I was too; I was just much more honest about it.
"I saw his pictures on face book."
"He has a face book..."
"Shut up! You know everyone has a face book now." Another shoe...this one pink.
There was a loud chime, from the marbled entrance downstairs, I immediately hopped up and decided to answer the door. She came at me nearly panicked.
"Where are you going!?" She shut the door, like we were conspiring.
I waved my glass of Pinot Noir at the door, "I was thinking someone should answer the door maybe, and I thought since, you have one red shoe and one black, I should be the one who did it." I felt like I was being reasonable in my logic.
She shook her head frantically, "Put my robe on!"
I stared at her, my eyebrows high. My outfit consisted of stretchy black bed-shorts, and a pink tank top, hardly competition for her red fuck-me-now dress. To humor her I put the ten sizes too tall robe on. I went for the golden door handle.
"Wait! Put a towel around your hair."
"Trina!"
"What!?"
"You are what I lovingly refer to as a 'frotch', why does MY hair need to be covered?" I had normal, white-blonde waist length hair. Nothing compared to the shimmering tresses falling from her worried head.
She shook the towel at me forcefully, obviously unwilling to bend.
"Fine." I put the white towel around my hair. Between the brown robe, the towel, and my wine, I looked like an overweight, drunken housewife who hadn't had sex in twenty years. No problems here.
I whisked out the door and floated elegantly down the stairs. Might as well have fun with it. The doorbell had yet to chime again, either he was patient, or gone. I was hoping he was patient.
I sat my wine on the small oak table by the double doors and using both hands I grandly opened them.
"How may I help you siiiir?" I asked in a drawn out accent.
She was right, he was very attractive. He had jet black hair, stood taller even than Trina's six foot one, and was wearing a very expensive suit. He was also driving a very nice, black, vintage Corvette. I know, because I was eye fucking it from the door. He cleared his throat to catch my attention.
My eyes snapped back to him. He had a cute little half smile on his face, "Is uh..Katrina ready yet?" He did that cute little look around the foyer that they all did.
I moved to the left side to allow him in. Normally she makes them wait outside but I am just not that mean. After grandly shutting the doors, I nodded my head at him, and said, "Allow me to fetch her." I snatched up my wine and swept right back up the stairs.
I managed not to die of laughter before I got into her bedroom.
Trina was staring at me with hopeful grey eyes. "Well? Is he delicious? Will I like him? Please tell me yes!"
I nodded and said, "I think you will definitely like him. He's incredibly hot, and his hair is long too."
She clapped like a child, "Really!? How long?" Her eyes narrowed.
"Uhm...like...shoulders?" I said.
"Oh my!" She fanned herself. She picked at my robe.
"What did he say to you?" She asked.
I shrugged and grinned, "Well normally people don't talk to the maid."
"You are ridiculous you know that? Stop making people think you're my housemaid, they look at me weird when we're out to eat together!"