Am I Ever Going To Get Myself Out Of This Mess?
I left the counseling office and headed back to class with the image of Mrs. Wilson's lavender panties illuminating my mind. Not just any lavender panties, but Mrs. Wilson's lavender panties. I kept thinking about her and all that had happened while I was in her company last period. I saw her sweet ass as she bent down toward the girl sitting on the bench. I felt her breasts rubbing across my chest when she turned around to greet me, but didn't realize how close I was standing behind her, She flashed her lavender panties while talking to me and even dropped a pencil where I got a clearer view of her pussy, and then she asked me what was my favorite color. I told her lavender. And with a shy smile she told me it was her favorite color too. If she wasn't so much older than me and if she wasn't married I would think she was flirting with me and had some sexual interest in me.
But that seemed impossible because she was married to Mr. Wilson, even though anyone with a brain would know that was a terrible mismatch. I found myself wanting to be in Mrs. Wilson company more and more and I was really glad I had agreed to her offer to help me sort out my feelings once or twice a week in her counseling office.
The final bell rang and students headed toward their lockers and some went to after school tutorial, others to sport related activities, and still others got on buses to be taken home. I put all my books in my locker and headed toward Jennifer's house. I thought about Mrs. Wilson's warning me to be careful. I certainly didn't want anyone to know I was going to be alone with Jennifer in her house, especially Matt. I didn't know Matt very well and he always seemed to be upset and have a mean looking face. I couldn't really understand what Jennifer saw in him, but she sure did open her legs wide and invited him to do whatever he wanted at Jill's house even though she was drunk. That really pissed me off. She was going with me and while I was vacationing with my dad, she's fucking the star football player in front of her classmates. How could she do such a stupid thing?
I was almost there. I decided to cut through one of her neighbor's yard and go directly to her house. I kept looking to see if any students might be going by on their way home from sschool. I didn't see anyone so I climbed the three steps leading to the deck and when I reached to knock on the door it came open and I went into her parent's house.
We looked at one another. We didn't say anything. We just looked at each other and then I saw tears flowing from her eyes down onto her cheeks. She didn't try to rub them away. I felt empathy for her. Why? I don't know. She started to say something but it didn't register because she was crying while she was trying to speak to me. Then, she said, "Billy, I'm so sorry. I really am. I loved you! I wanted you so much and when we were together I felt loved and safe. I was depressed when you were with your dad on that camping trip. I was going nuts. I needed to be loved. I needed to be wanted. I felt abandoned, I felt alone. I didn't go to that party to get drunk and act like a harlot, but some of the boys brought whiskey, beer, and wine and they offered me drinks. I lost all sense of decency. I danced and they cheered so I began to entertain them. Betty said I lifted my sweater and showed them my breasts. They hollered and shouted. I removed my bra. I threw it toward them.
"I lifted my skirt and danced around like a stupid woman and showing them my panties. I took them off and Betty said I twirled them over my head and threw them to Matt. He caught them and started sucking on them. I went to him and took his hand and led him down Jill's hallway to a bedroom. I wanted him to fuck me Billy. Betty said I threw myself on the bed, pulled my skirt above my boobs, and spread my leg apart, and invited him to fuck me. How could I have done that! I didn't realize how fucked up I was. I'm so ashamed. I violated you and embarrassed you and all my friends too. And then Matt wanted me to go steady with him. I knew everyone would tell you what happened and that you would be disgusted with my behavior and not want me anymore. I'm damaged goods, no one would want to date me, so I accepted Matt's invitation to be his girl.
"I cried for weeks Billy, because of my stupidly and losing you. You're the only guy that ever treated me with respect, the only guy I enjoyed making love to, the only guy who seemed to enjoy my company, and I threw it all away because of my carnal behavior from drinking. I ask you Billy to forgive me. I know you are dating another girl who I heard was studying at the community college and they tell me you are happy being with her. I'm not pleading for you to love me again. I just want your forgiveness. I want to be your friend. I need your wisdom, your advice, your consul, your friendship. I don't love Matt, but he protected me from verbal abuse because people know that he has a temper and a mean spirit so they never said any disgusting words to me; but I'm not included in anyone's social network anymore. I see Matt flirting with other girls now and I expect that he will decide it's time to trade me in for another pony to ride." Then she stopped talking and looked down at the floor.
"I feel sorry for you Jennifer. I was pissed when I found out about that evening at Jill's house. I was depressed for weeks. First because my father was deployed overseas on a special mission and I was fearful for his well-being and I was depressed that I had loss you to another and wouldn't enjoy your company or your love anymore. And my mom was depressed because her husband was going to be involved in a dangerous undertaking for over a year.
