More Than Friends

I sat, holding my drink, and caught myself staring at him again. I forced my gaze away once more, and focused instead on the conversation of the rest of the group. I laughed when appropriate, and smiled when someone spoke to me directly, but always found my thoughts leading back to the same man.

His name was Chris, and he was a friend of my husband. I had known him as long as I had known my husband, and had to admit, always had some feelings for him. But, lately, it seemed my feelings had grown stronger. I wanted to be around him more often, finding ways to be alone in a room with him, but never let on my feelings. My husband actually knew of my "crush" as he called it, and felt that it was natural to be attracted to someone else. I felt as if I was betraying my love for my husband, and told myself how wrong it was to want another man. Even then, the feelings for Chris remained.

This particular night we were having a party for a mutual friend who had just received a new position at the business he had been working in. These were my favorite kinds of parties because they were laid back, and we could act like the kids we were not too long ago. We would drink a little too much, play some party games, and laugh all night long.

"Jay, are you in there?" I heard my friend Kellie ask as she waved her hand in front of my face. "Earth to Jayden, come in Jayden. You were in some kind of other world there, hun."

"Sorry," I laughed, shaking my head, "just caught up in my thoughts. Did I miss anything good?"

"Naw, just making sure you weren't too drunk already. Wouldn't want you to miss out on all the hot party action." She clinked her glass against mine. "I think Alex is gonna put on a show in another round or two."

Alex, the group lush, often put on little strip shows for the ladies once he had a couple of drinks in him. He never got very far, but we always enjoyed the show. At our last party, Kellie and I brought a bunch of one dollar bills and threw them at Alex once the fun was going down. We talked about that for weeks afterward.

"Ooo, wouldn't wanna miss that." I winked towards Alex, who made a sexual gesture in our direction. We all had very immature senses of humor, but that drew us all closer together. I brought my attention back to my drink as Kellie moved on to refill her own.

"So, what do you think," A deep, sexy voice whispered in my ear, "Should we just call it a night and sneak up to my room?"Chills went down my spine as I turned a flushed face towards the speaker.

"Don't tease." I pinched Chris's arm lightly, trying to distract him from the fact that my face was flushed at the idea. If he only knew...

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked, purposely changing the subject. The last thing I needed to do was to embarrass myself by blurting out my thoughts on that subject.

"Of course," He smiled, and my blood warmed, "I can't resist a good party. What about you?"

"Sure, I love our get-togethers." I tried to sound enthusiastic, but apparently didn't succeed. Chris made a face that said he didn't believe me.

"Wow, don't get too excited about it. We don't want you to wear yourself out with all that party energy." I laughed as he reached out to tickle me, know full well I was super ticklish. "Oh noes, she is going to explode from the excitement, look out!"

"Stop," I tried to tell him as a gasped for breath, "you're spilling my drink."

"No, you are spilling your drink, my dear. I do think you are mistaken." His soft, green eyes sparkled with unspent laughter as he tried to keep a straight face. Then his expression softened.

"Is there anything wrong? Trouble in paradise?" He glanced in the direction of my husband, currently talking shop with more friends. By shop I meant video games.

"No, nothing like that. Just have a little bit on my mind lately, trying to figure myself out." I told him truthfully.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked, and I took the opportunity to stare into his eyes. They were the kind of soft green of moss, with hints of gold around the iris. He stopped to brush his dusty blonde hair out of his face with smooth, shapely hands. My thoughts drifted to those hands running up and down my stomach, cupping my breasts. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"It's not really a boy-talk kind of subject, but thanks."

"Ooo, it's not another man, is it?" the playfulness leaked back into his eyes. "I'm jealous."

I snorted, "Yeah, right. What about you? Have you found someone yet?"

"There have been a couple of girls, sure. But stop changing the subject. Do you have another man? Does Rand know?"

"Chris,stop. I do not have another man, so there is nothing for Rand to know." I pushed myself away from his grasp, not trusting myself to be so near him without letting my true feeling come to the surface. I saw more questions come into Chris's eyes before he grabbed my arm.

"Come on, we'll talk upstairs." He pulled my toward the second story of his home. Part of me screamed for me to wake up, to play it off like a joke, and go back to the party. But, there was the other part of me that wanted to be alone with Chris more than anything, to see if he had feelings for me too.

We slipped upstairs without drawing anyone's attention, mainly because Kellie was joining Alex in a strip-off. Chris brought me into his room, closing the door behind us. I stood there, frozen, as he went to sit on his bed. I didn't want to sit there next to him, wishing he would take me into his arms and do all the things I fantasized him doing to me. Finally I sat against the window frame facing the bed, trying to seem relaxed.

"You know, you can talk to me. I won't judge you, Jay. It's not always easy being with only one person, I know."

I still tried to stay upbeat. "I wouldn't know. I've never been with anyone other than Rand, so I can't know what I'm missing, right?"

"I didn't know that." Chris stood and came closer to me. "You've really never been with another man before?"

"Yeah, I know, pathetic. I just wasn't the type of girl the boys wanted. I was the cool one that way considered one of the guys, not girlfriend material. It's no big deal, really." I laughed wanting to move away from Chris as he drew closer, but not being able to move.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like with someone else?" He came even closer, and this time I did move away. I switched spots with him and ended up sitting on that all too comfortable bed.

"Well, sure, who hasn't had thoughts about another person? But, it's not like I have guys lining up to be with me." A little bit of my bitterness came through on that remark. It was true that I was not exactly every guy's idea of a beautiful girl. My curves were a little too big for most guys, and I considered myself plain. My eyes were my best feature, but I felt the roundness of my nose kept me from being pretty.

Chris leaned up against the window frame this time. He was quiet for a while, and I almost got up to leave when he surprised me.

"What about me, Jay? Would you be with me if you could?"

My breath caught in my throat as I fought myself from shouting 'yes, yes, yes'! How did I answer such a question without sounding pathetic or embarrassing myself?

"Yes." I breathed, barely loud enough for my own ears to catch it. I immediately tried to take back my words. "I mean, sure, what woman wouldn't want a guy like you? Funny, sexy, smart -- you hit the perfect guy trifecta there, bud."

"No, seriously Jay, would you be with me if you could?" He slid closer toward the bed, coming to a stop in front of me, kneeling in front of the bed.

"Don't make to answer that question, Chris, please. I can't..." He stopped my words with a soft kiss. His right hand rose to caress my cheek as my eyes fluttered closed. He tasted like ambrosia, sweet and spicy from his drink. His scent filled the air around me as he pushed me back onto the bed and leaned over me.

He drew back, then pulled his shirt over his head. He smiled at me as his hands worked at the buttons on my shirt. I couldn't say anything, just stared stupidly as he undressed me. After he pushed my shirt off my shoulders he took those hands I had fantasized about so many nights and ran them down my sides. His fingertips brushed the satin of my bra before he leaned over to kiss me again.

My stomach, and places lower were tightening, bringing that feeling excitement I hadn't experienced in years. I enjoyed making love to my husband, looked forward to it every time, but this was different. I knew in my heart that what I was doing was not right, and that sense of rebellion made the experience all that much more thrilling.

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt?" Chris asked, kissing his way down my neck.

"I thought you wouldn't want me," the truth slipped out, just as I had feared it would, "I thought you would laugh."

He drew back so I could see his face. "I would never laugh at you. Never."

He kissed me again, his hands reaching back to unhook my bra. I found the courage to run my hands over his strong shoulders, relishing the feel of his under my hands, not just in my mind. As he freed my breasts, he leaned down to take my nipple into his mouth. I nearly exploded at the sensation and had to catch myself from moaning too loud. If the music downstairs hadn't been so loud, I would have been worried.

Then, Chris's left hand slid lower popping the catch on my jeans. Before I could stop him, my jeans were on the floor, and he had stopped to stare down at me. I had never felt as beautiful as I did then. His eyes were full of lust, and something more. This wasn't the glare of a man sating a need, it had heart behind it. Not love, but something close.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

It took me several moments before I could find my voice. "No, please don't stop."

That seemed to be the reaction he wanted. He reached down to unfasten his own jeans, and then slid them down his legs. His body was magnificent. He was lean without being thin, with shapely muscles along his shoulders and arms. His chest was smooth, and there was a little trail of hair leading from his navel down his body. My eyes were drawn lower as he slid his boxers off next.

As previously stated, I had only been intimate with one man before, but Chris was as fine a piece of manhood as any I had seen. He was long, thick and hard. I actually blushed as I watched him lean closer to me again.

"I love that I made you blush." He whispered against my skin as he kissed a trail down my body. His fingers tugged at my panties, sliding them down my legs. He kissed his way back up to my face, and pushed his body against mine as he explored my mouth. The feel of him against my bare skin was almost too much. I moaned again, running my hands down his back, onto his ass. I squeezed him tighter to me, surprising us both, and relished the feel of him pressing into my stomach.

Chris lifted himself up, and slid one leg between my knees. He lightly pushed my legs apart, and found my hot, wet center with his fingers. He slid one finger into me, then two, thrusting in and out. I moaned into his mouth, and my spine bent, pushing him further into me.

"Please." I heard myself whisper. "Chris, please."

He took my plea, and with one slow push, slid himself into me. I couldn't wait any longer, waves of passion crashed into me, and I shivered with pleasure. Our rhythm became faster, but he held on, rubbing himself against all the right places inside of me. His kisses grew more passionate, and his thrusts stronger. I felt my pleasure building inside me again as he began pounding himself inside of me, our voices becoming harsher and breathier. Finally, I came, and through my moans I could feel Chris falter and let himself go.

We lay there for a moment, listening to each other breathe. Chris rolled off to lie next to me, and threw his arm over my waist. He kissed the side of my neck, and I felt extremely close to him at that moment. He didn't hurry to get dressed, as most men would have. He didn't act embarrassed or regretful. He just held me, as if there was nothing wrong with what we had just done, with my husband downstairs.

I felt a tear run down my face as I thought of my husband. What would he say if he knew what had just happened? Would he leave me? Would he be hurt? He used to tease me and say I could be with another guy as long as he could be with another woman, but that was just a joke, right?

"Don't think so much." Chris said as if he was reading my mind. He wiped the tear from my cheek. "Do you regret being with me?"

"No, it was wonderful." I insisted, turning to stare into his face.

"Then there is no reason you should feel bad about what we've done." He smiled, and my heart warmed at his words. "Is it alright if we just lie here for a moment before we got back downstairs? I'm pretty sure no one has missed us yet."

"I'd like that." I sighed happily, and cuddled into his arms.