Morris Micklewhite and The Dangerous Jade
A Fanfiction
Based on the character Jade Dragon
created by Battlestrength
Part Three
The Author wishes to express his deepest thanks to Battlestrength for his permission in writing this story, and to Destodes 777 for his edit.
Morris Micklewhite
Hi. My name is Morris Micklewhite. You've met me before. The first time I said my life sucks. A lot, a fucking lot, happened since.
My life still kinda sucks, but it's gotten so far into the rabbit hole, I can't tell what suck is anymore.
Here's a summary of how I got into this mess:
First, my stepbitch of a sister (by marriage) forced me to naked cater her party 'cause I lost a bet.
Then, my asshole of a dad exiles me to my Uncle Harry, 'cause some of the party goers plastered my naked ass all over the internet.
Next, I find my Uncle Harry's living with a shit hot blonde, and they're both all kinds of strange, and keeping all sorts of secrets.
Then, me and Liz (the blonde) get our asses kidnapped (after she injects a bunch of weird shit in mine), by a mad pervert scientist who looks like Paul Shaffer.
Next, we're hooked up to a weird fuck machine, and I find Liz is some big shot super scientist, and Uncle Harry is a top secret hit man for the secret squirrels.
Then, while the machine is literally fucking us to death, a hot assassin-looking lady with green hair, bursts in, kills the guards, and dehooks us.
Next, I find the stuff Liz put in me is supposed to change me somehow, and we have to leave her behind, 'cause the locks keeping us to the benches are top of the line, and the green-haired lady can only free one of us before Hazard and his goons get back.
Finally, the green-haired lady drags me to her badass (and I mean badass, damn!) car, and seconds later I'm hunched down in the front seat speeding out of, what I later found out was, Fleming Key.
Did I tell you I was also naked, covered in cum, and the green-haired lady was looking at me like I'd just shit in her seat?
We sped across the bridge into Key West. She didn't say a word, except "fuck" and "shit" a few times. I don't know but the vibe she gave was a lioness cheated out of a buffalo in favor of a gazelle.
She slowed as we drove through Key West and turned down Flagler Avenue. We stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store.
"Unbuckle your seatbelt, crouch down, and keep out of sight."
I did as she said. It was kind of like Uncle Harry's rules. Do as you're told. Besides, I had a very strong feeling she was the only one keeping me safe at the moment, so I wasn't going to piss her off with bratty teen behavior.
She took a pack in with her. Ten minutes later she came back with a couple of bags. She'd also changed into a Tee and daisy dukes. She tossed a black T-shirt and khaki green cargo shorts to me.
"Put those on."
I hesitated. I was a little . . . sticky.
"Look kid, I'm not driving to Marathon with a naked teen in the car. It attracts attention. You can clean up when we get there."
Made sense.
The drive from Key West to Marathon took forty-five minutes. She drove fast. Her radar detector kept an eye out for speed traps.
I figured the drive was a good time to get to know this Jade Dragon lady.
"Just a . . . specialist," she answered.
"Uh . . . like Uncle Harry?"
"Yep."
"So you kill people."
"Yes I do, but only the bad ones, and sometimes I do rescues."
"Does . . . uh . . . Uncle Harry kill people?"
"So far as I know. We don't talk business."
"How do you know him?"
"He trained me. Well, he was my first real trainer. Introduced me to the business. We had some . . . interesting times."
"Oh." I decided not to ask for details.
"So you're Harry's nephew."
"Yes."
"You don't look like someone related to Harry."
"I take after my Dad and Grandpa. Uncle Harry took after Grandma. She was from Cyprus."
"Makes sense."
She fell quiet for a few minutes, then spoke.
"So how did you end up mixed with Harry and Liz? You don't look like a Lifer."
"I'm not. Whatever this 'Life' you're talking about. It's . . . complicated."
"We have plenty of time to uncomplicate it."
It didn't seem much point not talking about it, so I told her.
She had a laugh at stepbitch beating me at Call of Duty.
"Never, ever underestimate your opponent, kid. I made that mistake with Doc Hazard once . . . once."