Mrs. Franks 01
So, I'm Dennis or more affectionally, Denny, I'm so, so, so close to 21 that I can taste it and my story today is about how close to 21 that I am and I how firmly planted my foot down and refused to attend this year's family and friend's vacation down on the coast. I mean, don't get me wrong because for several years, the group vacation was pretty fun, even though I was age stuck in the middle, but we all managed and for the most part, it was cool. But now, mm-hmm, I open mindedly planted my foot down because the "talk" was coming! Oh, not that talk, but the talk about getting busy raising the next gen of a family to continue the family and friend's vacation tradition.
Well, I was still a little open minded and I wore athletic shoes when I softly planted my foot down because it would be the last family and friend's vacation for this particular generation group and it was to be topped off with a small wedding for Brenda and since I had known Brenda for so long, I mean, my mind was still open to be changed, maybe. And to give you the back story of Brenda the bride to be, she was age stuck the other way back then as she was the oldest of the children during the stretch of family and friend's vacations and the one who got stuck being the watchful eye babysitter while we ransacked the tourist shops and ran amuck down the beach boardwalk and we all survived, so, yay, Brenda the bride, right?
Besides, with my mom traveling aboard, I had to represent my family, right? I mean, I attended an event planning meeting at my aunties house and not just because there was the promise of food.
[Mm-hmm, Denny softly, yet firmly puts his foot down next to the Breakfast Bar and makes athletic shoes squeaky noises on the tile floor because that's exactly the same as sending a text]
"[Shoe squeak text received response] mm-hmm, I received your sneaky and squeaky shoe text, Denny and I couldn't respond back from your Auntie Lilith's living room since she has carpeting, so?"
[And nobody notices that Mrs. Franks exits the living room for all of the event planning, wine cooler sipping and giggling]
"[Breaks off a banana from the bunch] it's too bad that you've elected to miss what might be the last family and friend's vacation, Denny, but I get it since you're basically a grown man now. Hey, do you think your Auntie Lilith would be upset if I snatched one her bananas as a snack, hmm? [Peels banana back and inserts it into her mouth] I mean, these annual pre-planning meetings [soft munch] need more healthy snacks [soft munch], especially since us women need to watch our weight since our wedding dresses and other stuff have already been sized [slow and soft munch], so?"
Well, Mrs. Franks can have one of my aunties banana's anytime she wants to, even though watching her weight wasn't all that necessary. Anyways, as I know and remember things, Mrs. Franks was always the socialite mom who always kept things moving along, on time and to the plan and had the swooshing arm waves, the flight attendant pointing and the cheerleader stances to say she meant business when it came to keeping things on schedule and her skills were honed in tight.
"(Chuckles) now, Mrs. Franks, shouldn't you snack on a banana that way in front of your hubby, huh?"
"[Soft munch, insert, retract, soft munch] oh please, Denny, if I sexy snacked on a banana like this in front of my worthless hubby, mm-hmm, he would just ask if it was too late for him to back out of the vacation/wedding weekend so he could spend the long weekend in fag flop house and suck on his type of bananas, mm-hmm [swallows the last soft munch], so?"
Um, while I recover for a moment from how Mrs. Franks enjoyed her healthy sexy banana snack and hop skip way, way, way over that probably true statement about her worthless hubby, um, whew, well, this year's family and friend's getaway vacation did come with that twist because of Brenda's wedding and I decided to rethink my decision to not attend, mm-hmm!
Um, ooh, because I paid so much attention, um, the small wedding ceremony would be held at a wedding chapel with a sandy beach reception later that night in front of our usual family and friend's vacation beach hotel. Also, please feel free to add like 50 more words to my description of the simple wedding because with all the hustle and bustle that has been going on over it during the past several weeks, I'm sure that my description sells it short.
"[Shoe squeak, shoe squeak text message asking for the gap to be closed]"
"[The gap in the kitchen closes] mm-hmm, since I already know how I'm going to take charge of the weekend anyways, Denny, because that's what I do [snatches another banana] and I don't need to participate with the living room planning meeting [peels that second banana], I guess I'll just eat this second banana to keep you up, I mean, keep up with my potassium [such an insert and soft munch], so?"
[Boink! Boing, boing, throb, boing]
"I mean, Denny, surely the giggling girls explained to you what some of the women would be changing into for the pebbly and sandy beach reception [insert, too far, retract, soft munch], right? To loosen up while dancing and mingling and to protect the bottom of our dresses from getting damp sand dirty [soft munch and swallow], hmm? Also, which one of us is going to push forward first to smash our bodies together since I still hear plenty of wine sipping and giggling coming from the living room, hmm?"
[LOL, it was a tie!]
Oh, well then, where to start, right? The giggling girls were different to me, LOL, they were my giggling cousin twins, Billie and Millie Lilly. And they did explain to me that the bride, the bridesmaids and a few key women to the wedding ceremony would be changing out of their wedding ceremony dresses and into something more suitable for a damp sandy beach reception to protect the lower hemlines of said wedding ceremony dresses. And you don't need to add any words to this description because just below is a direct quote from the giggling girls.
Ahem, and I quote, "mm-hmm, bad ass, form fitting, perfectly sequined, slightly sheer, stretchy in all the right places, one-piece body jumpsuits with a hidden zipper in the back that is a man's dream", end quote.
Well, my brain was locked in on a few key words as they explained things to me, but there were a few extra mumblings about how the bad ass, form fitting, perfectly sequined, slightly sheer, stretchy in all the right places, one-piece body jumpsuits with a hidden zipper in the back that is a man's dream required different shoes and different underneath lingerie to accent and highlight the skin on a grape fit and look, so.
"[Finishes the second banana] mm-hmm, the giggling girls left out something, Denny, because the finished product visual is certainly most pleasing to a man's eye, but the upfront challenge [the gap is smashed] of helping a woman zip her zipper up in the back should be in the mix [takes Denny's hand and saw blades across her upper lower back where the dream begins], so?"
"[Mm-hmm, Denny takes the challenge and lowers the saw blading motion a tad lower and keeps saw blading] well, Mrs. Franks, why doesn't the hidden zipper start right where I'm saw blading now [saw blade motion, center booty saw blade motion, a man's dream location for a zipper], huh?"
"[Doesn't relocate the proposed zipper start location] mm-hmm, men and some women wish the hidden zipper head started right there, Denny, but I think the clothing designers wanted the booty area to be all one cut of fabric to maximize and accent the booty shape, mm-hmm."