Muse

Renee watched fields pass by as the train rumbled eastward through farming country. She was looking forward to her little trip out of the city and to the conference she'd be presenting at, but mostly she was looking forward to seeing Keith, if she ever got a hold of him. She'd left messages over the last few days but he hadn't called her. She checked the signal on her phone and swore under her breath at the poor cell coverage farmers had to live with.

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The last time she had seen Keith was about 4 months ago when his flight was diverted to O'Hare due to poor weather in Detroit. He was stranded in Chicago for the night along with thousands of others and the hotels had filled up quickly. With no place to stay, he'd called Renee asking for advice. She invited him to stay at her place and he took a cab to her apartment near the lakeshore.

They ordered take-out and caught up while eating. During dinner, Renee noticed that he was still wearing his wedding ring. That band of gold caused tears to well up in her eyes and she quickly excused herself. In the bathroom, she cried quietly, tears streaming down her face. She had not thought of Carla and the kids for months and seeing the reminder on his finger had ripped open the scab that had formed over her grief, making her feel raw inside. She splashed water on her face, toweled off, and went back to the dining room.

Keith was standing at the window, looking out at the dusk gathering in her neighborhood. With his back to her, she couldn't read his mood.

"Done eating?" she asked, and Keith nodded.

Renee cleared the table and put the leftovers in the fridge. On her way back to the dining room she grabbed a fresh bottle of wine and found him where she'd left him, staring out the window. She set the wine on the table, unsure of what she should do next.

"More wine?" she offered.

"Yeah, sure," came the answer, his voice hoarse.

She crossed over to him, turned him around and hugged him tightly. She could feel his tears on her cheek and held him for a long time. Finally, his grip loosened and he stepped back.

"Thanks," he said, drying his tears with the palm of his hand. "I'm sorry about that. Sometimes, it all just hits me at once and I feel completely lost, as if I don't belong here. As if I don't belong anywhere." Renee hugged him again as he continued. "Losing Carla and the kids so suddenly left a huge hole in my life." He paused and stepped away from her again. "I'm sorry for laying this on you. I didn't mean for tonight to be some kind of therapy session."

Renee smiled. "It's OK. Go sit on the couch, we'll drink more wine and talk. At the very least, talking might help even if I can't give you any useful advice."

With a look of relief Keith sat down. Renee poured the wine and handed him his glass. He stared into his glass but didn't drink or speak. They sat in silence for several minutes before Renee finally spoke.

"I know it's not the same," she began softly, "but when Jon and I divorced, I felt empty too. After time, little by little, I filled the emptiness by doing different things, like taking an art class, for example." Keith looked at her with a questioning look on his face. She went on quickly, "I'm not saying you should take up painting. I'm just saying I found creative activities to be the most satisfying and helpful. Find something new, do something different."

He drank some wine, thinking about what she said. "What you're saying makes sense, but I feel stuck, and hollow, like I'm only a shell of what I used to be."

"You've got break out of your rut, somehow," she said. "I don't know how but you have to, soon. Time keeps moving on and you need to, too and you'll meet someone else and build a new life. But, if you don't move, I'm afraid the world will lose a great guy."

Keith smiled at the compliment, but the smile soon turned to a grimace. "I'm 41 years old, I haven't dated in 19 years. Who's going to want a broken down guy like me?"

"In your current condition, not many," she laughed. "Seriously, though, that's why you have to change. Look at me: I'm 38, single, living in the city, and I'm happier now than ever. But, it didn't happen overnight, it took time." She took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. "There is life out there and it's ready for you to start living again." Keith smiled and squeezed her hand back.

They sat on the couch the rest of the evening, drinking wine and reminiscing. When it came time to turn in, Renee offered her bed to him. Keith, not wanting to put her out, stubbornly refused and chose the couch instead.

Around two in the morning, Renee got up and went to the bathroom. On her way back to her room, she paused to look in at Keith sleeping on the couch. She thought of how good it felt to hug him earlier and how they had held hands while talking. She longed to wake him, take him to her bed and lie down with him. But, she knew he wasn't ready. Not yet.

She went back to bed and found her dildo in the nightstand. Renee closed her eyes and imagined Keith fucking her, his hard cock sliding in and out of her wet pussy. Her free hand manipulated her clit. The bedroom door creaked open and she opened her eyes at the sound but no one was there in the dark doorway.

I must have forgotten to latch it,

she thought.

Happens all the time in this old apartment.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on Keith's face, his body, his hands, his tongue running over her body. Her back arched and she came hard, but silently. Renee put her dildo away and rolled over to sleep.

Keith watched as she rolled away from him and quietly went back to the couch. He had been awake while she watched him lying there, apparently thinking he was asleep. When she had turned to walk away he had wanted to call to her but couldn't - no words would form in his throat. He had wanted to go to her but he wasn't ready, not yet. Instead, he was on his way to the bathroom and had heard a noise while walking by her closed door. He stopped to listen and the door swung open. Terrified at being discovered, he froze but her eyes couldn't penetrate the darkness of the hallway. He had watched her, spread eagle on top of the sheets, working a large dildo in her pussy, glistening with her juices.

He had watched until she was satisfied, mesmerized by the way her taut muscles looked when she came, mesmerized by how beautiful she looked, still wanting to go to her but not being able to.

I have to change,

he thought, his resolve hardening.

I'm dying on the inside.

He lay awake for quite awhile, a plan formulating in his mind.

In the morning after breakfast, his cab arrived and the driver honked his horn. Keith gave her a long hug, whispered his thanks in her ear, and gave her a firm kiss on her cheek. She stood in the doorway of her building and watched as his cab drove up the street and turned out of sight, the feel of his kiss lingering on her cheek.

Maybe someday,

she thought.

Maybe soon.

A week later, she received an e- mail, a thank-you from Keith saying that he hoped he could repay her some day.

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Renee looked at her cell phone and saw that she now had a signal. She quickly dialed Keith's number, her hopes rising. His voicemail answered, dashing her hopes. "Hi, it's Renee" she tried to sound cheerful. "I'm getting into town early this afternoon and will be staying at the Winchester. Call me on my cell or at the hotel. I'm hoping we'll have time to get together before I leave on Saturday." She hung up.

She desperately wanted to see him, to see how he was doing. His note was the last she had heard from him and was surprised and a little hurt that he hadn't returned her calls over the past week. She thought about Keith often, recalling the feel of his kiss on her cheek. Since breaking up with her boyfriend a month ago, she thought about him even more.

Especially when masturbating.

She slumped farther down in her seat, again imagining what it would be like to make love to him: the feel of his hands on her body; his mouth on her breasts; his hands between her legs; his tongue on her clit; his cock in her hands; his cock in her mouth; his cock in her pussy.

Renee noticed an attractive, college-aged man sitting across the aisle facing back eyeing her legs. When she had crossed them the slit in her skirt exposed her thigh almost up to her buttock. The man's eyes wandered from her thigh to her breasts, lingering, before moving up to her face. A look of alarm flashed across his face when their eyes met. Embarrassed, he quickly looked back to his newspaper.

Renee laughed on the inside: she knew her beauty had an effect on men. Her looks were the result of a fortunate combination of genes from her Greek father and her French mother. Her 5'7", 123 pound body with 32B breasts, long legs and olive skin was capped off by a beautiful face with high cheekbones, dark brown eyes and medium length chestnut hair. Tall, athletic, good looks and a permanent tan all combined to entice men, even those fifteen years her junior.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the stranger sneaking peeks at her legs again. Renee thumbed through a magazine and shifted her leg, the skirt riding up exposing the edge of her black panties. The stranger openly stared at her exposed flesh and underwear - Renee pretended to not notice. Her thoughts returned to the idea of Keith's head between her legs.

She stood up, her crotch damp, picked up her small travel bag and walked to the end of the car to the toilet. Finding it unoccupied, she entered and closed the door. She pulled her skirt up to her waist, pushed her panties down and stepped out of them. She looked in the mirror above the sink, ran her fingers through her pubic hair and thought of Keith.

She imagined Keith on his knees pulling down her panties. He kissed her pussy and she opened her legs wider. His fingers parted her lips and his tongue plunged inside her. She grabbed his hair, held his head and rubbed her pussy in his face, wetting it with her juices. His tongue flicked across her clit, pleasure rippling through her body. His strong hands reached for her breasts, rubbing her hard nipples as his tongue lapped faster. Her pending orgasm grew as he sucked her clit into his mouth and his tongue bathed it.

Her fingers worked her clit furiously as she watched her reflection in the mirror come, her body tense as she whispered his name over and over again. She smoothed her skirt back into place and washed up. Her damp panties lay in a heap on her bag - she considered them for a moment before stuffing them in one of the zippered pockets. Renee returned to her seat, feeling the stranger's gaze on her ass as she walked by.

Feeling playful, she sat down with her legs, slightly apart, pointed toward the man. She crossed her legs slowly, making a show of it, her skirt sliding up her thighs. His eyes followed the movement of her legs and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. No one else in the car could see her as she picked up the magazine pretending to read, seemingly oblivious to the stranger. She seductively bit her lower lip while her free hand rested on her chest. Her fingers played absently over her breasts before moving down her stomach towards -

Her phone rang and her heart skipped a beat when she saw on the display it was Keith.

"Keith! Hi," she said brightly. "I was just thinking of you."

"Hi, Renee," his voice sounded cheerful. "I'm sorry I didn't return your calls sooner. I've been on the road for work and I'm not getting back until late tonight. Are you done with your conference tomorrow evening?"

"There's a wrap-up dinner tomorrow night but I was thinking about skipping it as it's bound to be dull," she replied. "Would you like to have dinner with me, my treat?"

"Sounds tempting," countered Keith, "but I'd prefer if we had dinner at my house. Can I pick you up at 5:30 at your hotel?"

Renee hesitated, thinking she'd rather not have a dinner in a house that would constantly remind him of Carla, but finally said, "Um, yeah, that'd be great."

"All right, 5:30 it is. I'll see meet you in the lobby." He went on, "Renee, I just want to say I -"

His voice cut out. Renee looked at her display and saw she had no signal. Worse, her battery was drained. Kicking herself for not charging her phone before she left, she turned it off and stowed it in her shoulder bag, wondering what he had said. The young man had left his seat and made his way to the toilet.

A knowing, sly smile played across her face.

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Renee's presentation was well received and although the conference was extremely interesting, in her mind it dragged on and on. It didn't help that she was operating on little sleep having spent a good portion of last night fantasizing about Keith. She constantly wished it would hurry up and end, that it was 5:30 and she was with him. When the last speaker finished at 4:45, she quickly gathered her things, made her apologies for missing the dinner and went to her room as fast as the elevator would take her.

She wriggled out of her dress and jumped in the shower to freshen up, thinking of him as she washed her body. She toweled off and stood in front of her bed, studying the clothes in her suitcase. Since dinner was at his house, she decided on a nice blouse, jeans and sandals. She primped in front of the mirror until her hair looked right then considered dabbing on some perfume. She shook her head and decided against it.

It's not a date, we're just friends,

she thought.

So far.

In the lobby she waited on a sofa, giddy with the same anticipation she had felt when she was waiting for a date to pick her up when she was a teenager. Except, she wasn't a teenager, and this wasn't a date.

Probably not.

She jumped up when Keith's dark green sedan pulled in under the awning and met him at his car. She climbed in and noticed his face looked leaner than the last time she'd seen him and he wasn't wearing his wedding ring, both good signs. But she also noticed he was wearing a dress shirt, tie and dress pants. She looked at her own clothes and said, "I'm sorry. If I'm under-dressed I can run up to my room and change in a jiff."

Keith laughed. "No, you look great. I came straight from work. As soon as I get home I'm taking these things off." He paused and then blushed. "And putting on other clothes, I mean."

"Well, it's your house," said Renee, laughing. "Do what you want."

He drove across town but instead of taking the expected route, he turned off the main road early into an older neighborhood.

Keith looked at her and said, "You're probably wondering where we're going." Renee nodded. "I sold the old house and bought a new one. New isn't the right word, though. It's about 70 years old, has lots of character and is in need of some updating. It - it's right here."

He turned into the driveway of an old brick English style cottage set on a small lot. Renee marveled at the geometric patterns in the brickwork of the driveway and front sidewalk. Keith unlocked the door and led her into a foyer with rich wood paneling and a dark cherry wood floor. Off the foyer to the right was a dining room also paneled in dark wood and to the left was the living room with a thick oriental rug centered in front of a tiled fireplace with furniture arranged around it.

"It's gorgeous!" Renee said, kicking off her sandals. "It's so cozy and warm."

"These rooms, and the study through there," Keith said, pointing to a set of leaded-glass pocket doors in the living room, "are the best part of the house. The kitchen needs lots of work, though." She followed him through the dining room into a rather dysfunctional kitchen with appliances straight from the 60's.

"The kitchen will be my next big project. Once I figure out how to do it," he added.

"What was your first?"

"The driveway and sidewalk."

Renee gaped at him. Keith chuckled, "I know, I didn't know I could do it, either. I just did some reading and research and went at it." He opened a wine fridge. "Would you like some wine?"

She accepted, and when he went upstairs to change, she wandered through the house, admiring the woodwork in the study. She passed through the study into a back room covered in outdated paint. A drop cloth covered the floor. In the corner were a stepladder and a heat gun. Thick paint had been peeled back and she could see the original woodwork underneath. A thought occurred to her and she walked back to the foot of the stairs.

"Keith," she called up. "When did you buy this place?"

"About three months ago," his voice called back.

"Did you do restore all of the woodwork in the front part?" she asked, looking up.

His head appeared over the railing. "No, I hired a guy to do that. I was afraid I'd do some real damage." He came back down barefoot, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. "Better?" he asked. Renee nodded.

"Come on and give me a hand," he said and walked back to the kitchen.

They talked as he prepared dinner and Renee fixed the salad. Soon, it was ready and they sat down across from each other. Several times Renee looked up to find Keith looking at her and, each time, he'd drop his eyes quickly to his plate. She fought the urge to run her foot up his leg and decided to wait for Keith to make the first move. After dinner, they walked through the house, talking and drinking.

In the living room, Keith turned to her, taking her glass from her hands and setting both his and hers on the coffee table. His face was serious as he spoke.

"I don't mean to sound overly dramatic, but before our talk in Chicago, I was dying inside, bit by bit. You were right: I had to get on with living, which is why I sold the old house. There were too many memories there, a constant reminder of what I lost. The week after I got home I put it on the market. I found this place a few weeks later and put an offer on it the day I saw it. Fixing this place up and other things I've done have been very therapeutic. I've been more creative in the past three months than I'd been the previous ten years. And I have you to thank for it. In a way, you're my muse - you inspired me."

Stunned, Renee didn't know what to say - she had never received such a compliment. Keith stepped forward and hugged her, holding her for a long time before kissing her on the cheek. Renee kissed his cheek in return. He turned his face towards her and kissed her on the lips, his lips slightly parted. She opened her lips and accepted his tongue as it slid into her mouth. He slid his hand down to the small of her back and pulled her body closer. She sucked on his tongue as her hands moved down to his ass.

The next instant they were kissing wildly, their hands exploring. She pulled his t-shirt out of his waistband and ripped it off over his head. His hands squeezed her breasts, his fingers fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. Renee let her blouse drop to the floor behind her. He unclasped the front of her bra, freeing her breasts, leaning his head down, his lips on her nipple, licking and sucking. She grabbed his hair and held his head there, enjoying the feel of his mouth on her breast.

He unsnapped the front of her jeans, lowered the zipper and slid his hands down the back under her panties, kneading the bare flesh of her ass. Her head tipped back, her nipples hard. He pushed her jeans past her hips then knelt in front of her, helping her out of them. She stood naked before him, his eyes at the level of her pussy. He saw that her dark pubic her was closely trimmed with a thin line leading down to her slit. He looked up at her, his eyes hungry, her body tingling with anticipation.

Keith guided Renee to an overstuffed chair behind her, still on his knees. He covered her stomach with wet kisses, slowly moving lower until his mouth was just above her sex. She ran her fingers through his hair and he draped her legs over the arms of the chair, spreading her wide. Renee felt his tongue on her pussy as he licked around her lips and finally up into her. She gasped with his lips brushed over her clit, sending sparks through her body. His tongue flicked quickly and Renee felt her orgasm building as Keith sucked on her swollen clit. His pace increased when he sensed she was close. Renee panted; the pleasure between her legs was intense. Her back arched and she moaned loudly as she came, Keith quickly lapping up her juices.