My Bartender

Author's Note:

Hello everyone,

First let me say thank you to everyone who has left comments over the years. I had a few things happen that made writing hard. It was those comments that made me pick this story back up.

The tone has changed a bit, as their relationship evolved, but I think this story is true to them. Important note: Zeke's name has been changed to Brian. I wanted him to seem more real and approachable...guess he's changed in part because I have too.

Let me know what you think.

ps: I didn't text him...vodka did, is currently in my editor's hands.

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The answer to the question 'how many times he could make me come on the way home', was none. It's not his fault, between the cabby licking his lips in the rear view mirror and my growing panic at having this mind altering man in my personal space, I was suitably distracted.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. Picking up on my struggle, Brian pulled me closer pulling one of my legs up onto his lap. His hand slid slowly up under my skirt, those deadly hands left a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"I can't do this." My voice was so soft I wondered if he'd heard it at all. Those hands stopped briefly over my now soaked panties and he stiffened. He thought I meant all of it, me, him, my place. I did, kind of, but really I meant being watched by the creep in the front seat.

When I glanced to the front, he picked up on my meaning and relaxed a little. His hand slid back down, this time painting my thighs with our wetness. I sat up and slid into the crook of his arm, my heart felt like it was pounding beneath my rib cage.

"I want to taste you," he whispered in my ear. "It's been too long, you shouldn't hide from me."

"Is that what I'm doing?" I asked. "Hiding?"

"You tell me Vye?" Brian sounded hurt and it pulled at my heart. "You want this, you can't tell me you don't."

"I want this," I said.

"You want more than this."

This time I didn't answer, he was right, he had no idea how right he was. You're asking yourself why, right? Why couldn't I bring myself to turn this into more? The answer was complicated, so complicated I didn't know where to start. Instead I turned to look at him, soaking in the sight of eyes I could drown in and lips I worshiped.

"I don't do this you know," I said. "I don't take guys home."

He smiled and my heart tripped over itself. "Good," he said, "you need to forget those assholes anyway." Brian leaned in and captured my lips in the sweetest kiss. "I've missed waking up next to you."

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I led the way up the stairs to my apartment, Brian's hands never left my body. Whether he was caressing my back or holding my hand, he was constantly reminding me that he was there. Secretly I loved it. At the top of the stairs he wrapped his arms around my waist, I fumbled with the keys, and as the door swung open he kissed the back of my neck.

"Who is this," Brian said with a smile in his voice. Leaning down he picked up the grey tabby cat waiting patiently by the door. "Aren't you the cutest little kitten."

"She's eight," I said. I smiled at the surprise on his face. "She was the runt of the litter."

"She's the tiniest cat I've ever seen." He nuzzled her neck and I fell in love.

That hit me hard, I had been denying it for years but at that moment I couldn't any more. This infuriating man who had me wrapped around his finger, who drove me crazy with lust, had my heart in his hand. That scared me to death. How on earth was I going to make this work?

"What's her name?"

"George." He laughed at me. I shrugged and kicked off my shoes. "I thought she was a boy for the first six days. The vet corrected me but I kept the name, she looks like a George."

"Definitely." Brian caught my hand and pulled me in for another kiss. "Go clean up, Beautiful, George will keep me company while we wait."

I nodded, not too sure what to say. Part of me wanted to tell him to just stand there and not touch anything, but that would be weird. Brian and George made their way into the living room and with a shaking breath I headed into the bathroom.

I told myself I was going to be quick, in and out in time to keep him from digging too deeply into my life. That didn't happen. By the time I got out of the shower I was 100 percent against facing him makeup-less. So I took an extra 20 minutes to put on my war paint.

I came out to find him looking through the pages on my drawing desk. Without looking back he said, "I didn't know you could draw."

"I illustrate children's novels." My reply was followed by a shrug he couldn't see. "You've made a friend," I said watching George attempting to climb up his legs.

"I guess you're not the only one who has a thing for me." He turned and the heat in his gaze lit my body on fire again. "You didn't need to get dressed up for me." Bran looked down at the simple silk nightgown and matching coat. "Not that I'm complaining."

Again I shrugged. "No point in getting lingerie if no one is going to see it."

Brian crooked his finger at me and obediently I moved closer. "It turns me on knowing this is just for me." His hands slid around my waist and pulled me closer. "Kiss me Vye, it's been too long."

My laugh made him smile, that beautiful smile. "It's been less than thirty minutes," I said.

"Like I said, too long."

His lips were soft and he eagerly pulled me out of my shell. My arms slid up around his neck and Brian's hand brought me close enough to feel the hardness that promised me all the things I wanted.

"Take me to bed Vye. I have a list of nauty things I want to do to you."

"Flirt." I took his hand and moved to the bedroom, a little embarrassed that there were clothes on the floor and my bed wasn't made. None of it seemed to bother him. As soon as the door closed behind us he was on me.

My housecoat hit the ground in seconds and his hands roamed my body like he was trying to memorize every curve and every patch of skin. I was just as frantic to feel him. Pulling at his shirt I had to push him away to get it up over his head.

"God I love it when you get worked up," he said.

"Shut up and kiss me."

I laughed when he picked me up and threw me on the bed. Seconds later he was on me, his mouth devouring every corner of mine. I couldn't help but cling to him. It felt so good to be with him, not just physically, but emotionally. As much as I tried to fight it, this was where I wanted to be...more than anything I wanted to be here, like this, with him.

He braced himself over me, stradling one of my legs as I writhed against him. When he finally pulled away from our kiss his voice was rough. "See," he said, reading my mind, "this is where you should be."

"In my bed?" I teased.

"In bed with me." My smile fell away at the seriousness painted on his face. "I'm serious Vye, this is too good to turn away from."

I felt the mood slipping away and fought back and unwanted wave of tears. "Relationships are more than just great sex."

"This is more than just great sex," he said moving his thigh until it was cradled against my soaking wet slit. With one hand he caressed the side of my face and followed the line of my neck to dance across my collar bone.

"Ok, mind blowing sex."

"Don't play dumb," as if he could pick up on my fading passion he moved and started a trail of kisses from my mouth down to my breast. "We both know this is more than just sex."

"How can it be," I gasped when he slipped the nightgown down and claimed my nipple in a searing hot mouth. "We barely know each other."

"It's been five years," he said, coming up for air. Our eyes met and I felt hypnotized, there was no way to look away. "I know you better than you think I do, and I've shown you everything."

I thought back to our countless nights together, the late night conversations, early morning confessions. All the times I'd explored his apartment, learning about his music and the kids he taught during the day and the reason he still was bartending at the same place he'd been working at since college.

I remembered all our games of 20 questions, and the rare times he'd convinced me to stay over for a weekend. I knew his favourite movies, the music that had changed his life. I knew he loved pasta and hated eggs. I knew him, my heart knew him.

Why was this so hard?

I closed my eyes and lost myself in him. When he slid down my body and his tongue flicked at my most sensitive areas, I gasped. He knew what I liked, the soft licks on the underside of my clit. The feel of moustache against my most sensitive skin, his teeth biting at my lips, the harder bite marks that left bruises on the inside of my thighs. It felt sinful and a little dirty, like being devoured by the devil as I fell from heaven.

When he pulled back I whined making his smile widen. "Just a minute baby," he said, "I can't take this to the next level if I'm dressed."

I rolled onto my side and watched him as he unbuttoned his pants and let them drop. As he stepped out of them and braced himself on the dresser so he could take off his socks, I drank him in. God, he was beautiful, from that ridiculous mohawk he'd had as long as I'd known him, the sleeves of tattoos on both arms, down to that gorgeous cock I dreamed of.

"Keep looking at me like that and you'll be in bed until next weekend." He climbed back over me, pulling the sheet up with him.

"Promises, promises," I teased, opening my legs to welcome him. "Sometimes I think you're all talk."

He grinned and leaned down to bite my low lip. "You're asking for it now. I love a challenge."

"You love it all."

"When it comes to you? Yeah I love it all."

He slid into me and all the air left my body. My eyes rolled back into my head and I let out a breathy moan. Brian groaned and slowly moved inside me. He came down to lean on his elbows and wrapped a hand around the back of my neck.

"Have I mentioned how much I like how wet you get for me?"

"Not lately."

"I need this Vye," he whispered in my ear. "I need you."

"I need you too." My confession was met with another growl and his head dropped down to mine.

"You need to stop running."

"I know."

He moved inside me at a painstakingly slow pace that slowly sped up until he was pounding into me driving us both to the point of madness. His shout of release made my heart sing and I wrapped my arms around him pulling him down so I could feel his weight on me.

"That felt good," he said after a little while. "It's your turn baby."

"It's ok," I said, "I'm fine."

"You are fine but you're going to cum for me." Brian rolled onto his side and slid a hand down my less than flat stomach. "You know I love your body," he told me. "You don't need to wear things like this. I love it, don't get me wrong, but you don't need to cover up."

I shrugged and fought back a wave of self consciousness. "It helps me get out of my head. I don't feel comfortable naked."

That wonderful hand slid down to the slick lips guarding my most sensitive spot. I closed my eyes and felt him move next to me, propping his head up on one hand so he could watch me. With one finger tip he traced a line around my clit, teasing but not touching it. He paused at the bottom and gently brought it up the underside, drawing a breathy gasp from me.

"God you're good at that," I said when he did it again. "You know all the right spots."

"You're beautiful," He said. "I love how responsive you are."

"That's because you have magic fingers."

He did it again, circling my clit then sliding up and down the underside. Then he slid back and forth on the top, dipping down to the left and then the right. It didn't take me long and soon he was just holding his fingers there and I was doing all the work. I rubbed my body up and down his hand getting everything I needed and more to push me over the edge.

When he saw I was close, Brian slid his hand down and pushed two fingers inside me. He held them still as I fucked his hand using it to find my release. When my climax hit I shook, locking my legs around his hand and turning into him to bury my face in his neck.

"God you're beautiful," he said again. I was fighting tears, sensory overload for sure, but emotional overload too. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried out when he pulled his hand back. "Shhh, baby." He whispered sweet words in my ears as tears rebelled and fell down my face.

Brian pulled away and sat up. Part of me panicked and grabbed him in an iron grip. "Don't go, please don't go," I said.

He turned and gave me a bittersweet smile. Brushing a lock of hair back from my face he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I need to use the washroom, I'll be back."

I didn't want to let him go, but I did. In the time he was gone I struggled to control my emotions, fruitlessly struggled I might add. Why was this so hard this time? How many times had we done this and I'd been fine? It used to be so easy to just walk away.

I shook my head, it'd been getting harder and harder over the last few years. I wouldn't ever tell him, but I hadn't slept with anyone else in the five years we'd been playing this game. It had been easy at first, we saw each other three or four times in a month. Then it had gotten more intense and for a couple years we saw each other once or twice a week.

The last year had been hard. The more my mother pushed me to find a 'good' man, get married and settle down, the more I tried to distance myself. I told my self I'd never find someone else if I kept riding this runaway train.

Eleven times now I'd tried to go out on dates, six of those times I'd been awful and took the date to his bar. Everytime I'd end those dates in his bed begging for more. How fucked up was that.

"Don't cry beautiful," he said crawling back in bed. He held out a warm cloth for me, and I cried a little more because he was so damn thoughtful. When I'd cleaned up, Brian took the cloth, tossed it back towards the bathroom and pulled the blankets back up over us. "It can't be all that bad. Didn't it feel good?"

"So good," I said between tears. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying." Liar, I told myself.

He pulled me back against him and curved his body around me. "Close your eyes baby, it'll be better in the morning."

I prayed he was right.