I walked into the coffee shop and saw her. I hadn't properly seen her for two years. She looked happy, more than happy. She looked contented and still beautiful. Her curly brown hair still framed her face. Her large brown eyes showed how happy she was. The reason for her contentment was the guy sitting next to her. I knew all about him. I saw all the pictures of them together on her social media pages and I liked them all. I was genuinely happy for her yet felt an intense sadness and heartbreak.
My thoughts went back to the day when we first met.
***********
I was having a bad day. Something I can't remember reminded me of my ex-wife and sent me back down into the abyss I had crawled out of. It had been six months since the divorce and nearly one year since I caught her in our bed with the guy, she told me I had nothing to worry about.
I had been working a lot of overtime trying to get the money for a deposit so we could buy our first house and start a family. She had been getting friendly with this guy and I told her I felt uncomfortable with her relationship with him. She told me he was like a brother to her and what I was suggesting was gross.
One night my overtime got cancelled. I returned home in a bad mood, but I thought it was an opportunity for us to spend some much-needed time together, so I bought a bottle of wine and some food to cook a nice meal. When I arrived home, I saw a car outside which I didn't recognise. My gut told me there was something wrong and when I walked through the door, I heard noises from upstairs. When I walked into the bedroom, I saw her "brother" balls deep inside her.
I just walked out. I know they saw me because when I didn't return, she blew up my phone. I just walked the streets all night in a daze not answering it. I felt sick, cuckolded, humiliated, and betrayed. The following morning, she told me she was sorry, she still loved me, it meant nothing, and all the usual crap that cheaters tell their spouses they betray. I moved out and moved back with my parents. We tried marriage counselling, but it was obvious he was still coming over to fuck her, so it became pointless.
I filed for divorce and her pretence disappeared. She was hostile and taunted me when we met to negotiate the divorce. The divorce was straightforward because we didn't have kids or own our home, all we had to do was remove my name from the lease of the house we rented, but it was still deeply traumatic.
I was in therapy for months, diagnosed with depression and PTSD. I did everything right, I worked out, tried to improve myself, and focused on myself. I managed to rent a small place and I slowly rebuilt my life. But even those weren't enough to stop me from missing the wife I thought I had.
With thoughts of my ex-wife still in my head, I walked into the supermarket. My head was down, I was avoiding eye contact with everybody. I have no idea what happened, I must have been walking too fast and the aisle was too busy when I walked into somebody.
There was a woman's cry and a loud crash. I looked up in surprise and saw a woman wincing in pain on the floor and a shopping basket lying on its side with cans and plastic bottles rolling around it.
"I am so sorry!" I exclaimed in horror and immediately began rescuing the woman's shopping back in her stricken basket before helping her to her feet. "Are you ok?"
"No, I am fine," she replied quietly, looking furtively around her, not wanting to make a scene. "It was probably my fault. I've been causing a lot of accidents recently."
I looked properly at the woman. She looked in her early thirties just like me. What struck me was how attractive she was. She was the kind of woman I used to fantasise about. Short dark hair that fell around her ears and large brown eyes that I instantly lost myself in. She was beautiful.
Despite her beauty, there was a sadness to her. I knew the look. I had seen it in my own eyes so many times when I looked in the mirror. Her sadness and the scarceness in her basket told me she was single because she had recently been through a bad breakup.
"No, it was completely my fault," I wasn't going to let this woman blame herself for something a guy did again. I wasn't that kind of guy and was never going to be. "Can I buy you a coffee to apologise?" I looked at her with almost pleading eyes.
I wondered if she saw the same look in me as I saw in her because she gave me a look of sympathy, "That is sweet of you but I'm sorry, but I can't," and she hurried off.
A deep sigh left me. I could feel the amused looks around me from people looking at the guy who crashed and burned. Oh well, she was out of my league anyway. She would never have said yes. I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on with my shop.
"Excuse me, is that offer for a coffee still standing?" I heard a woman call out to me as I left the supermarket. I turned around with my heart in my mouth and saw the same beautiful woman I had bumped into about ten minutes earlier.
I probably had the dumbest grin on my face because she gave me a smile that made me weak at the knees, "Erm, yeah. Yes! Please! That would be great!" I babbled embarrassingly which made her laugh.
Seeing me flush red at my incoherent reply she took pity on me, "I'm Lora," she said introducing herself.
"I'm Zeus."
"Zeus?" she said with a startled look.
"I know, I know. It is a ridiculous name. My whole family have the same name as gods and for the life of me I don't know why they chose that one."
Lora laughed again and said, "Come on, I want a cappuccino."
The coffee date with this beautiful stranger was a disaster. No! Just joking! It was like a dream. She was funny and vivacious. She made me genuinely smile and laugh for the first time for so long. It felt like the world had come off my shoulders.
I then had to ask the question that could end any chance I had with her, "Are you single?"
The smile on her face disappeared and the sadness returned to her eyes, "Yes," she whispered. The sound she made was almost painful.
"I'm sorry," I said feeling shameful for my question. "I'm single too. I'm divorced. I've had such a good time that I just wanted to make sure because I really would like to see you again."
Her eye widened and her beautiful smile broke through her gloom, "I would like that too but," she hesitated, her brow furrowed, and her gloom returned, "I'm not in a good place right now."
"Neither am I, but you have made me smile for the first time in a long time."