We sit here having coffee, strangers, old lovers and I hear your voice -still so familiar- say that thirty years ago you loved me. I didn't know you loved me, you never told me so.
I thought I was your toy, your fuck doll. Don't be mistaken, I say this without judgment, simply as a fact and I attest that I was happy. I was happy just to be near you, to smell your musky smell, to hear your voice, to feel your body and your sweat. You were my 'drug of choice' and like an addict I craved you every moment of every day, and when I was with you I was happy.
You told me then that you loved someone else, someone you could not have, someone far away. You told me that her name was Julie and that her eyes were brown. I believed you even though now you don't even flinch when you tell me it was just a rouse to keep me a little distant, to keep you from having to commit.
You didn't need to lie. I never expected us to be forever. I never expected that you would want only me. Your lust was more than just a thought, a desire, it was a living thing and I knew that one day it would take you away from me. I never showed jealousy, I did not worry when lust would come for you. It was simply a fact and I took it as such.
You made a mark on me that will never go away. My mind won't let me forget the way you touched me, the way you looked at me. I remember your hands cradling my head as you kissed me, your mouth fully open to mine. I remember your lips soft and demanding, then pressing and needy, your grip tightening as you entangled my long brown hair within your fingers. During those moments my desire for my drug was satisfied, if only for a short time.
I remember you unbuttoning my blouse slowly, each button a task, a chore to be remembered. Over my shoulders slipped the fabric, then on to the floor. You kissed my neck, my shoulders, my chest above my breasts. Never touching my breasts at first, just kissing me until my breathing was heavy and my desire aroused. I remember your hands on me, your hands on my neck, my back, unfastening my bra and gently allowing it to fall off my shoulders.
My panties seemed to slip by themselves over my hips, down my legs and off. I remember your mouth, hot and open, sucking, tugging at my nipples, your tongue flickering, your teeth nipping at me.
I remember your hands on me, always moving, searching out the warmth, the fire burning inside me. Your fingers moving back the swollen lips that cover my throbbing pussy, pulling them apart as you pressed your cock inside me. I remember you pausing after the first stroke, feeling the warmth and wetness of my body around you.
I remember how you use to talk to me, telling a virgin girl every move to make, "faster", "more gently"; telling me to touch you here, or there - always showing me how to please you best.
I loved how you manipulated my body to your whim. You pushed my legs above my head to get every inch of your cock inside me. In one swift movement, you turned me over and raised my hips so you could enter me from behind. You shoved your cock in my mouth and held my head down on you as you came.
I loved the feel of you balls bouncing softly off my ass as you fucked me over and over again. Hours passed in your arms. You fucked me slowly, then faster and harder your cock stabbed at me. Sometimes you would abruptly halt, looking at me with searching eyes, judging if I had had enough or wanted more. I always wanted more...you were my 'drug of choice'.
I remember you fucking me then pulling out, stopping, with your cock just touching my pussy. Slipping in and pulling out, pausing, then slipping in and out again, and then again. I lifted my hips and pressed my legs against your back, urging you to enter me again, but you resisted and laughed. "Please!" I would mutter softly, barely able to utter my cry. "Please, please, please!" My pussy was throbbing, the teasing unbearable, the desire to have you inside me overwhelming beyond the point of sanity. I never knew if you enjoyed teasing me, or merely wanted to see the look in my eyes as I begged for you.
I came in waves. Like the ocean washing over me, engulfing me, drowning me, my breathing and my heart seemed to stop. I could not see, or hear, or think, I could only feel! I could only feel your hands, your mouth, your warmth, the throbbing of your cock urging me to cum - yet again.
The lights were always on and you kissed me with your eyes open. I wondered what you were searching for when your eyes pierced mine in that gaze. I imagined you were looking for the brown eyes of the girl you could not have, but my eyes were green. I wondered if you thought of her touch when it was mine you were feeling.
I didn't care if you did. I remember your arms around me, your grasp tightening, the redness that crept up your chest and neck when you finally let yourself go.
There seemed to be no world beyond our bed, no reality beyond our mutual need, no morning, no day, no stars, no sky.
You were bold.
You fingered me at the theatre and I gave you a blow job.
You fucked me in the surf at the beach in the dusky evening, just after sunset while a couple of surfer-types watched and cheered. My string bikini floated off with the foam so you wrapped the beach towel around me, your arm draped protectively over my shoulders as we walked back to the hotel laughing, me naked under the towel.
You ran an ice cube down my back and between my legs at the poolside then smiled and raised the cube to your mouth and sucked at the little droplets of water as the cube melted.
You fucked me while we lay spooned together on a blanket at a public park with only your zipper undone, my sundress pushed up in the back, but the full skirt draped over us to give at least a little cover, our picnic strewn around.
You put your mouth between my legs in a parking garage, car door open, you squatting in front of me while I sat sideways on the car seat.
