Names are changed to protect the guilty. Everything else is exactly as I remember it.
Whispers was always a terrible nightclub. It was one of those places you would never plan to go to but then after about the fifth drink with the gang after work on a Friday you'd somehow find yourself there anyway. The kind of place where married men would slip their wedding rings into their pocket, buy you drinks you didn't ask for, then call you a bitch if your knicker-elastic didn't instantly dissolve in proximity to a sugary cocktail. The kind of place where divorced women would dress in outfits fifteen years too young for them and two sizes too small, and writhe their hips with ever more salacious, slutty desperation the closer it got to 3am, as the booze and their fear of spending the night alone overcame their self-esteem. You know the kind of place I mean.
Gavin was my partner in crime. We worked in different departments at the same company, so we'd only really spend time together when we were socialising. He was really quite camp and when we first met I assumed he was gay. He wasn't, but the last I'd known he had a girlfriend & I guess I'd probably had a boyfriend not long before that evening too. I'd never really thought about whether I fancied him, he was my mate and we always had a laugh together at work parties and suchlike.
As the evening played out, most of the rest of our colleagues had wimped out and gone home. A couple of the girls from HR were still on the prowl on the dancefloor, extracting as many drinks from horny men as they could. Gav and I were just chatting, catching up on each other's gossip about work and our love lives. Then, as we were so fond of doing, we began bitching and giggling about some of the people in the club. Before long we were imagining what they would be doing in about an hour's time. To begin with, we were just being really mean.
"See those two over there?" Gav nodded towards a couple wrapped around each others bodies on the dancefloor. "He's going back to her place, and when she stands over him & unzips her dress so much flesh is going to fall out and tumble all over him that he'll think she'd been smuggling an octopus in there."
"See the couple making out in the dark corner over there?" I added. "When he gets her home she will unzip his hideous leather jeans and where she thinks there is a bulge, she's going to find the pair of bundled up football socks he's got stuffed in there."
As we continued in that vein, the stories got a little less cruel and a bit more, shall we say, vivid. "You see her there with the short spangly dress, tottering on her high heels? She's about to give up, go home, strip off and shower herself, rubbing the sponge between her legs and thinking about all the ones who got away. She'll then dive into her collection of vibrators, take out the really big fat one at the back, lie down, close her eyes and not open them again until the batteries run out, sometime tomorrow morning."
"See what Val & Caroline are up to?" Gav gestured towards our two remaining work colleagues, who were both dancing with the same young, and I would have to admit, rather handsome man. "They can't agree which one of them gets to cop off with Muscles there. So they both take him to a cheap hotel round the corner. They plan to have a threesome but as soon as they begin to undress, Val & Caroline have to admit to themselves what the rest of us have known for years, they are both raging lezzers who want nothing more than to dive between each others' sweaty thighs and munch the rugs until dawn. They forget all about poor old Muscles, who spends an hour or so watching before giving up, knocking off a quick wank and leaving them too it."
And so on, each story getting a little bit more explicit and a little bit less funny, until one of us had to admit what was going on. We had already been whispering in each other's ears, pressing our legs and hips together in the double seat as we giggled and gossiped. I moved myself closer still and asked. "Imagine we were those people sitting over there, looking at you and me here and playing the same game. What do you think they would say about us? There was a moment's pause before he replied.
"They would say that those two are so damned sexy that they won't be able to keep their hands off each other long enough to make it out of the club. They are going to have to sneak off to a cubicle in the toilets where she will press her hands between his legs and feel a huge cock that is already swollen hard. She won't be able to resist falling to her knees and taking it into her mouth and sucking it until he turns her around, bends her over, lifts her skirt up over her bum, pulls her knickers to one side and slides his hard cock smoothly and quickly into her wet, waiting cunt for him to fuck her hard, fast and rough."
I just sat there for what felt like a lifetime, breathing heavily, taking in what he was saying. Eventually I managed "So, would they be right about the huge hard cock?" He smiled at me with a wicked glint I had never seen in his eyes before.
"Well, they might be exaggerating about the huge part. The rest of it could not be any more true."
