My First Time with R...

He responds to an e-mail that I sent out to all the Project Managers with "bite me."

I write back, "with pleasure."

He says something to the effect of "don't get me all excited."

I reply, "You wouldn't let me anyway."

He says "I'm going to be here for a while if you want to come over and talk."

I say, "Talk, I thought you wanted me to bite you."

He says "come on over – but I think you're chicken."

I don't respond.

He writes back "Are you coming? Did I spell that right? Buck, buck, buck."

I show up about fifteen minutes later. He's talking to his common law wife Holly on the phone. Apparently she had her van broken into while at the gym today. She is older than him by a few years, but not unattractive for a woman in her early forties. They have a six-year-old daughter named Emily together. Holly has two other children, boys in their late teens from a previous relationship. When the two of them first tried to have kids, they found that they couldn't, and resorted to in vitro fertilization. We chat about Emily for a little while. I can tell that she is his world.

He moves from sitting at his desk to sitting on his desk, much closer to me. We continue to talk about insignificant things. He catches my eye several times and holds my gaze just long enough to let me know that he's not just interested in making small talk with me. I can't meet his stare so I look away nervously. He has the most intense green eyes that just make me melt. I never would have imagined that this could be happening. I had no idea he was interested in me at all. He is gorgeous, and I never would have expected to stand a chance with him.

He calls me a chicken again, as he swings his leg so that it bangs against mine. He mumbles something about the awkward silence in the room.

I say, "you've done this before – it shouldn't be awkward."

He responds with "I've told you way to much information."

"How has it started in the past?" I ask.

"Touching, I guess," he responds.

We talk for a minute about his past affairs. He indicates that his last one ended a few months ago. He tells me that he's had two within the last several years, each of which has been long term. Prior to that he'd had a few one-night stands.

He asks me if I can handle an affair. I say yes, as long as it doesn't get carried away. He's wondering if I've ever had one.

I respond, "Yes – with Jim, I thought you knew that."

He says, "You actually slept with him?"

I respond affirmatively, and briefly explain how things got carried away with him. I ask if he thinks I'm an awful person. He says no. I explain that I love my husband and have no intention of leaving – and that Jim didn't understand that. He agrees that family is the most important thing. He tells me that he's not sure if he loves Holly, but he doesn't want to break up his family. He tells me that he still has sex with her occasionally, but he has a really hard time cuming with her.

"It takes an hour and then she gives me five seconds of warning before she cums. I could time it right if I had a little bit of warning, but she just lays there and doesn't give me any indication that she's enjoying it until she cums, and then she want s to go to sleep. Half the pleasure for a guy is knowing that he's pleasing his partner – at least for me it is."

I ask if they've ever tried anything to help the situation.

He says "like toys or counseling?"

I say either, and he replies in the negative.

He gives me that look again, as if to ask if I'm sure I want to do this. I mention that I'm pregnant, and ask if he really wants to do this. He tells me that it turns him on. I look away nervously, and explain that I'm really self-conscious about my weight to begin with, but being pregnant it's even worse. He shakes his head. Again the uncomfortable silence.

"How 'bout a kiss?" He asks, and then looks down at his desk sheepishly.

"This is like high school" he says embarrassed.

I take his outstretched hand and stand up. I am the same height as he is now that I'm standing, but as soon as he stands, he towers above me. He stops to remove his retainer, and I make a comment about what a turkey he is.

He looks into my eyes, putting his arms around me and pulling me close. He leans in and begins to kiss me ever so gently. I expected him to be much more aggressive. He has a very dominant personality, just like me. Probably the reason we butted heads so much when we first met. He continues to kiss me as I unbutton his shirt and begin to suck on his nipple, biting just a little.

He says, "Hey – you're biting."

"Isn't that what you wanted me to do?" I ask sarcastically.

He begins to untuck my shirt in the back. He gently caresses my breast with the other hand. He stops kissing me and moans quietly as he feels my breast through my shirt. He reaches up the back of my shirt and undoes my bra. He untucks my shirt in the front and pulls up my bra. His face resembles a kid in a candy store as he moans again and caresses my breasts with both hands.

He turns us around and sits in his chair. I kneel on the floor in front of him, as he begins to kiss my breast. I kiss his neck and begin to undo his belt. He reaches for my pants and I shake my head no. He looks at me questioningly. I reach into his jeans to find him hard as a rock. I begin to suck on him. He rubs my back and runs his hands through my hair. I stop for a minute to see what his reaction is. He tells me that it feels great. I continue, putting his hand on my head so he can push it up and down. He moans quietly that he's going to come. I suck harder as my mouth fills. I swallow and gently release him.

I look up at him. He looks stunned, like he's trying to get his bearings. He pulls me up and kisses me. He holds me close and tickles my back ever so gently. He begins to rub me through my pants as he kisses my neck. He wants to do something for me, and asks if he can eat me. I shake my head no. He doesn't understand. Next time, I say questioningly, although I'm not sure if there will be a next time. He smiles and says yes. He feels bad that he can't do anything for me. I get up and explain that I would feel really cheap if I slept with him right now. I don't want to do that. He nods understandingly.

He walks around behind me as I sit back down. He massages my shoulders and looks at my neck, apologizing for leaving marks on it. I stand and undo my pants to tuck my shirt back in. His eyes get wide as he catches a glimpse of my underwear. He comments on the fact that they're Victoria's Secret.

I think that we're both a little surprised with the events that just took place. He starts to shut the lights off and I grab my books. As we exit I say something about having a nice weekend, and he tells me to drive safely. As I drive home in silence, I am unsure if anything will become of the two of us.