You knew I had a bf then and you asked sometimes how that was going, and you mentioned your marriage was falling apart,and I tried to be there for you. I didn't know what to say many times but I listened. I think all you wanted was to vent to and get it out. Slowly we became friends, and I didn't feel uncomfortable around you like I had with other men. I felt like you had my back if I needed it. If I had a bad day you were there. You had many bad days and I listened and said what I could to help.
Over the next year we stayed friends. As time went on I didn't really talk to you about what was going on with Tyler and I, and the turmoil in my head of whether to end it or salvage it. I should have. Maybe I worried you would take advantage of it. Maybe I just wanted to work it out on my own. But I remember the day I told you about the breakup. I was hurting inside, and other than my mom you were the only one close by to lean on. You hugged me tightly and told me it would all be ok. I felt the sincerity of your hug and words.
The days we worked together you would greet me asking how I was holding up. I slowly opened up to you more and more, and as time went on you started texting me. You wanted to check on me to see how I was doing, and it felt good knowing someone cared and that you were there if I needed someone to talk to. I knew you were going through the battle with your ex over the divorce. but you put that aside so that you could listen to me. We were both hurting inside. You were still my boss but I could tell we both wanted to keep work separate from our friendship.
I slowly came out of my grief over Tyler, and we started making the texting light and more friendly again. We kind of talked about relationships and somehow it turned to the topic of sex. You became very interested in my past sex life, and somehow with you it felt ok talking about it. You wanted to know a lot: who I had sex with, how it was, what I liked about sex, and what I didn't like.
You talked some about your sex life, before and after you met your wife, and how it wasn't great with her especially after you had your son. You told me what you liked, what you fantasized about, and what you wished you had gotten to try. I think you felt like you were getting older and never had the chance to be the man you wanted to be sexually.
What we talked about sounded interesting to me and I started thinking of you more in sexual terms. The way that you viewed sex, how you wanted to please the woman you were with, ways of trying bondage but in fun playful ways. Maybe I could be that person you were talking about. You were 18 years older than me and that intimidated me some. But something was drawing me in. You were saying things I had never thought about before and no one I had been with before had a view of sexuality like you did.
You talked about romance and intimacy some, but what really stood out was all of the other aspects opposite to that. I couldn't see us ever being romantic and falling in love. But I could see trying something I never tried before. I never had that kind of "friend" before, to make my body available to being pleasured in the way you described. I wanted to feel that kind of pleasure, and I started to feel safe, and that maybe it could work out. You had always been the gentleman, never making me feel cheap or slutty. You flirted lightly but respectfully. You complimented me in a way that I enjoyed. You knew my soul.
