My Silly Crush

I usually fall victim to emotional contagion when it comes to music. Most of my writing is induced by an impression I receive by a song or a body of musical work. In fact when I am writing I often relate the emotion of my work to the tempo/meaning of a song.

I have had "Slow Hands" by Niall Horan on repeat recently, falling back in love with the song and the tempo. There is something that feels so sweet and innocent about it, but also deeply passionate and emotional.

Hope you enjoy!

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"Adeline! Adeline!" he laughed, as I tugged on his hand and ran through the crowd.

"Come on slow poke!" I giggled, blushing excitedly. The County Fair was one of my favorite places when I was a little girl. Coming back home from my freshman year in college had increased the nostalgia factor for me tenfold. We made it to the stage, my heart racing as I bit my lip and stopped abruptly.

"Geez!" Devon collided into me, his hands gripping my arms as I stumbled a bit. I giggled and hiccupped, covering my mouth as I blushed and glanced back at him. "You're already tipsy?" he whispered, his cheeks a little flushed as well. I nodded, turning to face him as I took his hand between mine.

"Come on, let's dance like we used to when we were kids!" I insisted and he hesitated, looking wary as I led him out to the open dirt patch. There where tables and hay bales all around, but a huge area of dirt was open in front of the stage. Some people were dancing the fun tune the band was playing.

"One song," he caved as I pouted, holding his hands.

"Yay!" I laughed happily and he sighed, and then chuckled as I swung our arms as I started stepping and kicking to a funny beat. Soon enough we were both stepping and kicking around in our own little world, spinning and shuffling with each other. It probably looked crazy to anyone watching, but I didn't care. After a few songs we were both already a bit sweaty, not even the cool breeze of dusk able to take some of this heat away. I took my hat off and fanned myself, watching as he unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt and shaking the loose fabric.

There was a brief pause between songs as we worked to steady our heart beats. When the band picked back up it was a slow song. I pouted, about to walk off when he caught my wrist. "Um, let's dance to this too?" he muttered, not looking at me as he slid his hand into mine.

"But you always hated the slow songs. Said they were stupid," I teased, letting him gently pull me into his hold. He made a funny face, pressing his lips together as he looked off over my head. His arm wrapped around my waist, his hand wrapped gently around my ribs. I blushed, leaning into his hold as I let my arm rest on his, my hand pressing against the back of his neck.

"Is this ok?" he muttered, his other hand holding mine as our fingers locked together. My heart was pounding, my mind racing as I my stomach knotted up. I couldn't find the words to respond so I just nodded, letting my head lay on his chest. We stepped and spun slowly in our perfect little circle, our thighs brushing as we worked closer and closer to each other. The song ended and the spell was broken as people clapped.

"Hey! Do you um, maybe want to go get some dessert or something?" I pulled away quickly, not letting go of his hand but putting distance between us. I couldn't find the will to look him in the eye. This was Devon! We had known each other since the day I fell off my bike in the cul-de-sac. He brought me a band aid, a lollipop, and sat with me until I stopped crying. I was six and he was nine. He's always felt like a best friend, another big brother! I couldn't be thinking about him like this.

"Adeline," his hand closed a bit tighter around mine, the tone of his voice making me panic. I grit my teeth, fighting away all these weird thoughts as I took a deep breath and smiled at him.

"I'll race you to the food stands," I breathed, pulling away from him and taking off. My boots felt heavy, my dress feeling like it would wrap around my legs and trip me at any second. I ignored the slight choking I felt on my neck from the strap of my hat as my braids bounces on my shoulders. It was now I was cursing my stupid obsession of dressing up as a silly farm girl. Devon always humored me though. He never cared about the other kids teasing us in fact he'd tell me I was the coolest and prettiest girl all the time. I made it to the stands, leaning on the back of one of the buildings away from the crowd to stay a bit cool as I panted.

"Adeline!" Devon's voice made it to my ears I looked up to see him jogging toward me, his shirt straining against his shoulders and chest. The unbuttoned fabric flapping and exposing glimpses of his chest and collar bone. He had on a light flannel, the sleeves rolled up, and worn Levi's with a fitting leather belt. The boots and hat made him look like a real country man. And it looked amazing on him.

"I won!" I giggled proudly, swallowing back this weird heavy feeling as he studied me with a blank face.

"What's wrong?" he demanded and I hesitated, pushing up off the wall and adjusting my skirt. I made a show of fixing my bangs a bit before pulling my hat back up and shrugging.

"Nothing? I just really want some funnel cake!" I insisted, rubbing my tummy before I went to turn. He sighed and grabbed my arm, pulling me back. I gasped, my eyes wide as he pushed me back against the stall.

"Why are you lying to me?" he demanded, his hands gripping my arms firmly as he loomed over me. I swallowed hard but couldn't get this weird lump out of my throat. I hesitated and closed my eyes, turning my head away as I balled my hands up into fists.

"Dammit Devon, why are you like this?" I demanded, his hands gripping tighter before loosening a bit. He put his hands on my shoulders and I felt like he was going to say something. But I couldn't hear it. I didn't want to. "Please don't say anything," I grumbled, taking a peak at him out of the corner of my eyes. He was studying me, his face looking a bit torn. His forehead was wrinkled and his brows were pulled down a bit as his lips pursed a bit.

"Why do you say that like-"

"Because I like you Devon. I know we're best friends. Hell I am probably like your little sister. You working with your dad after high school, my going to college, I was certain being apart more would help. That I would get over this stupid crush. But I never lost this feeling! I think it's only gotten stronger actually," I sighed finally, looking at him. His face looked relaxed but almost void of emotion. "Please say something. Anything! It's embarrassing for me to stand here now as a nineteen year old girl talking about her silly childhood crush," I grumbled and he just stared at me. I took a deep breath, feeling both a burden lift off my shoulders and an uncomfortable uneasiness creeping into the pit of my stomach. "Devon, why are you just staring at mmm-"

His lips crushed mine then, his hands holding my face. My eyes went wide in shock, my body frozen for a moment. And then I melted. My hands held his waist, his firm body pressing into mine slightly as our lips moved together. He pulled away, our lips wet as he stared into my eyes. The warm, rough texture of his hands on my skin felt incredible. He slowly smiled then, laughing lightly.

"What?!" I demanded, blushing as I covered my mouth. "Am I a bad kisser?" I grumbled and he bit his lip, shaking his head slowly. "Then what?" I pressed and he took a deep breath, sighing happily as he leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"Addie, I have been trying to figure out all day how to tell you that I," he hesitated, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead to mine. "I love you. It's always been you for me," he whispered and I gasped, my insides turning and clenching almost painfully.

"Wh-wh-what?!" I demanded then and he laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me up off the ground and spinning. I held onto him tightly, closing my eyes as my heart raced. He stopped, not letting me go though. I pulled back, looking into his eyes and felt my throat close up. The look in his eyes. It was that look I had read about in the silly romance novels my cousin wanted me to read all the time in high school. She would always swoon about how amazing it would be to have someone look at her like that. I never understood it. But that was because I was convinced I'd never see that look, at least not from the one who meant the most to me.

"You look upset," he muttered then, his face falling with disappointment as I stayed frozen. He set me down slowly, my hands still on his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come right out and say it. I just-"

"No! No, I just, I'm shocked!" I insisted then, grabbing his hands and smiling then. "I never thought you'd love me back," I breathed and he smiled too. This was the warm, butterflies in your stomach kind of romance I read about. It had to be. He reached up then, pushing my hat back off my head as he pulled me closer to him. We held one another as our lips locked again. His arms were firm, his hands pressed into my back as our lips molded and brushed against each other. Without thinking I let my lips part, my tongue brushing his bottom lip. He froze, pulling away and clearing his throat.

"Don't you want that funnel cake?" he muttered. I couldn't help but pout and he sighed, pulling me into a tight hug. "Why do you have to look at me like that? You're the one who wanted a funnel cake!" he insisted and I sighed, holding him tight around his waist as I giggled.

"Because I had to run away. I couldn't look at you after dancing with you like that. It was too much," I admitted shamelessly and his hand that was rubbing my back soothingly stopped immediately. "I don't think I could eat anything anyway. My stomach feels like it's doing summersaults!" I laughed and he squeezed me close, laughing as well.

"Yours too?" he breathed and I nodded. After a while he pulled away, taking my hand. He turned and walked us toward the main path. We have held hands so many times but somehow this time felt so different. His fingers, his palm, the way they rubbed and caressed mine slightly as we walked. All of it was hypnotizing. We walked quickly, my heart racing as he led us past the stables and barns were. They were already closed for the evening so the animals could rest. We continued up past them and toward the fence that marked the edge of the fair. We walked along it, the area dark without the lights of the stands or portable lights. The sun had set a while ago already, nothing lighting our way except the nearly full moon.

"Where are we going?" I whispered and he glanced back at me with a smirk.

"Somewhere we can be alone for a minute," he muttered and my heart skipped a bit. We came up to a large pile of haybales. It looked like they stored the hay for the animals here. One of the bales was already cut into, a pile splayed out before us. "Come here," he turned and fell back, pulling me on top of him. My body swayed, falling into his arms.

"Dev-" his lips covered mine as he held me tightly. Our legs were pressed together, his stomach and hips feeling so hard against mine. There was a panic consuming me as we kissed, my mind fretting that someone might come find us any second.

"No one comes back here after the stables close," he muttered as if reading my mind. His hands were on my waist, his wet lips on my jaw and neck as he worked to soothe my nerves. I grabbed his hat and pushed it up, setting it on the hay above us as his hands slid up my back. He kissed my shoulder, his fingers touching the bare skin of my shoulder blades. I shuddered and he hesitated. "Are you cold?" he whispered.

I could only shake my head no as he slid his fingers up into the sleeves of my dress, slowly pully them off my shoulders. My heart was going a mile a minute, my mind hazy. I was breathing heavily and felt embarrassed about my reaction to just his touch. His lips brushed and sucked gently at my neck as he worked his way back to my lips. I let my fingers tangle into his wavy hair, gripping it as he kissed under my jaw.

"Adeline, you are so beautiful," he whispered and I exhaled sharply, my eyes flashing open as I looked down at him. He was running his fingers under the straps of my bra, his eyes almost glimmering in the moonlight as he smiled up at me.

"Don't say silly things like that," I grumbled and he bit his lip as his fingers coerced my straps off my shoulders too.

"Silly? It's true. Do you know how many guys your brother and I had to threaten in high school?" he muttered and I blushed, shaking my head. "And every year I see you, the more beautiful you become," he whispered then, his eyes seeming to study my whole face. I felt his fingers brush along my exposed collar bones and trembled, feeling embarrassed again as I pressed my face into his. His fingers brushed my neck then as he pulled on the strap to my hat, working it up over my head and setting it above him next to his.

"Well you are really handsome too!" I insisted then and he laughed happily, his hands slowly running over my shoulders and along my braids then. He tugged on them a bit, and then I felt my hair give as he started running his fingers through it. It fell over my shoulders and around us, waving and curling in an unruly mess.

"Your hair is so long and curly," he whispered, reaching up to tuck as much behind my ear as he could. I blushed when his fingers slid along my check bone and behind my ear. They ran down my neck too. His face looked deep in thought as he studied me. "I am serious though, how could you be this beautiful?" he muttered and I blushed as he reached back up, capturing my hair that threatened to escape from my ear. His fingers pushed into it, sliding to the back of my head as his other hand slid along my back and around my waist.

"Kiss me," I whispered and he smirked, pulling me down as he stretched up to me. We closed our eyes, our lips touching again. I slid my arms under his neck, pressing myself into him as our lips slid and wrapped around the other's. I sighed, my lips parting slightly. His followed and my stomach trembled as our tongues touched. I sunk into this kiss, my face hot as our tongues swirled and tangled together. He was such a good kisser it almost upset me. Surely he has had enough practice. I pushed that thought away quickly, reaching up to slide my hand into his hair. I gripped it, tugging on it as I continued to lean into him.

"Adeline please, this is getting too far now," he whispered and I hesitated, my lips feeling wet and swollen as I looked down at him. His eyes were full of worry, but he still held me close. I took a deep breath and kissed him lightly before giggling. I leaned down, letting my lips and breath tease the curve of his ear.

"Devon I'm a young woman you know. There are things I want too," I whispered and he tensed up, his hands gripping me tighter at my words. "I want you to go too far. I promise," I insisted, kissing under his ear then. He groaned, sitting up quickly. I clung to him, my legs sliding apart around his hips.

"Addie you're killing me!" he grumbled, his arms wrapped around my waist as his head buried itself into my chest. I smiled, playing with his hair and tickling his neck.

"Are you sure you love me like a woman and not like a sister?" I pressed and he looked up at me, his eyes looking defeated.

"Of course," he breathed and I bit my lip.

"Then show me," I whispered and he hesitated.

"This better not be the alcohol talking. I didn't want to give you any. I still feel bad about it!" he insisted, seeming so anxious. I sighed, feeling incredibly sober now.

"I didn't drink that much. I wasn't tipsy earlier either. I was just too happy to be with you again," I grumbled, blushing out of embarrassment. His hands pushed on my waist when I tried to hide my face in his shoulder. I clung to him, letting my breasts press into his firm chest. "Please don't make me beg for it. I'll feel so embarrassed and ashamed," I muttered and he sighed, seeming hesitant before his arms wrapped around me.

"Not here," he insisted and I almost argued before the idea of him taking me to his new apartment, bringing me to his bed, it all excited me more.

"Ok," I went to get up but he held me close, reaching up to fix my bra and dress. I blushed and pushed him down into the hay, leaning over him to grab our hats. I let myself get close to him, glancing down to see an interesting look on his face. The joy and realization that this man, the man of my dreams, the guy I grew up with who was everything I ever wanted loved me... It was overwhelming. "Let's go then," I breathed, pushing up off him. He took a deep breath and got up as well, taking his hat from me and brushing it off.

*******

I hung onto him, my back against the door as he fumbled with his keys. I was kissing and sucking on his neck, his arm around my waist as. His breathing was ragged, his skin hot wherever I touched it. He held me tight, the door falling away from my back. His lips caught mine, both of us shuffling and stumbling into his apartment. I heard the door shut behind us, his arms wrapping around my waist.

He pulled me up, my legs wrapping around his hips as my arms rested on his shoulders. He held my thighs, his hands and fingers firm against me as we continued to kiss. I kissed his neck as he walked toward a small hallway. I felt a door bump against my back then fall away. Before I could kiss him or ask if this was his room, I felt his leg push up under me. And then he lowered me down, my body easing into a soft and warm blanket.

"Wait here," he whispered, kissing me lightly. I took a deep breath, throwing my arm over my eyes as I heard him walking quickly away. Shortly after he was coming back, his footsteps softer without his boots on. I lifted my arm, looking down in the dark room to see him reaching out and grabbing my leg. The touch of his palm on my thigh above my knee sent shivers up my spine. His hand and fingers slid along my calf, getting to my boot. He worked it off my foot, pulling it up a bit. I groaned when his thumbs rubbed the bottom of it. My cheeks burned as I watched him lean down and kiss my ankle, his hands sliding back up my leg as he leaned down to continue kissing along my leg.

His fingers brushed up against my skirt before switching to the other leg. Doing the same thing, he had my shoes and socks off, my heart racing as a fire consumed me. I felt the bed sink between my thighs and looked to see his knee pressing down first. His hands grabbing one of mine. I watched as he kissed and sucked lightly at my fingers, my stomach churning with anticipation as he worked to my palm. His hands and lips worked up my arm slowly, electrifying tingles coursing through my spine. Once he reached my shoulder he set my arm down over my head, switching to the other one.

Again the same slow, tender caress of my hand and arm. At this point my head was swimming, my body feeling like it was buzzing. I felt electrified from head to toe. His hands slid up my arms as he leaned down, his breath not as his lips pressed against my neck. Our palms slid together, my fingers separating around his. The firm pressure of his hands on mine, the way he sucked and nibbled at my neck, the weight of his knee just inches away from my body. All of it was driving me wild. I felt his chest brush up against my breasts as he bit the curve of my neck.

"Nhaaa!" I exhaled heavily, a gentle moan escaping as my body arched toward his. His hands closed tighter around mine, his other leg sliding up between mine. He pulled away with a heavy breath, switching to the other side of my neck. As he kissed and sucked on my neck I felt his legs shifting, pushing my thighs apart more.

"Huh... huh..." I was panting with each breath, feeling my flesh stretch and spread between my thighs as he continued to work his legs closer and closer to me. My panties clung to me, a cool breeze occasionally causing a tingling sensation to dull the throbbing fire between my thighs. Did he have any idea the effect he was having on me? He had only touched and kissed me a bit but I was already losing my mind!