In the days after giving her first ever blowjob, Chloe couldn't stop thinking about it. She replayed the experience in her head over and over again, focussing on a different detail each time she did: how it had felt to have her mouth so full of another human being. The sense of sudden constriction when she gagged. The way his cock had slipped, wet and sleek, out of her mouth on the occasions when she did choke. The way her lips had felt ever-so-slightly numb and tingly afterwards.
She wanted to remember everything. To fix it in her mind. And it wasn't just the minutes during which she was on her knees that she wished to record, but everything on either side: how her knees had been sore the next morning. How her throat had felt thick and slick for hours afterwards. How, late that night when she fell into bed, she momentarily caught a taste of the boy's come once again, and the mere ghost of it made her pussy twitch.
For a week afterwards, whenever she masturbated, it would be to thoughts of the blowjob. It would be pointless to think about anything else. The things she had done with her boyfriend felt rather silly and amateurish now. They were faint and faraway -- experiences from a previous life. Whereas the blowjob...
The blowjob was immediate. Intense. Full colour. It was everything. It was close enough that she could almost feel the ghosts of each sensation as she remembered them.
It was, she decided very quickly, an experience she definitely needed to repeat.
It wasn't that she wanted to. No -- this was more definite. A biological need; a kind of sharp, constant tug behind her ribs. She found herself thinking about it so constantly that she felt sure she'd go insane if she didn't get to do it again. It was a drive that felt to Chloe every bit as vital as hunger.
The question was... how was she going to do it again?
She couldn't remember The Boy's name. And, thinking back, she found it maddeningly hard to describe him. She remembered quite adequately the thick fullness of his cock and the taste of his come, and the way his hands had felt when he put them on her shoulders. But what colour had his eyes been? How tall was he? Did he say he was a student, or had he been someone's friend from outside of uni?
She thought about asking her friends if they knew The Boy... but the chances that they would seemed slim at best. And she had a feeling that asking for the name of a boy she met at the party would only lead to questions she didn't want to answer.
So what other options did she have?
She could find another boy. Someone to practise on. It shouldn't be too hard, should it? Boys loved to have their cocks sucked. And she was fairly sure that the campus nightclub was full of guys who would take her up on the offer. Especially if they'd had a few drinks and she just went up to them and asked. It should be simple.
But it wasn't simple. Because Chloe had never just walked up to a boy and propositioned him before... and the mere idea of doing so felt utterly terrifying for no reason she could adequately define.
For a while she toyed with the idea. And then, realising that it was unlikely she'd pluck up the courage to act on it anytime soon, she changed plans, and ordered a dildo on the internet.
*
There were, she found, quite an extraordinary number to choose from. They were available in all different sizes and colours. Different materials, different shapes. Some had balls. Some did not. Some came with a sucker at the base so that they could be attached to a wall. Some were modelled on real men, and some were designed to look the outsize members of dragons or werewolves.
It was a realistic one which Chloe eventually chose. An eight-inch thick and veiny cock with balls and a suction cup. Pretty much everything about it turned her on. There was the fact that it was absurdly girthy. The fact that it came with such unnecessary detail -- the balls and the veins and the little divot under the head. Even the image of it on the website -- a body-less cock isolated on a white background -- made her feel a little throb in her cunt.
She paid for expedited shipping, and it arrived the next day. She picked it up from the campus post office -- an innocuous package that thumped dully whenever she turned it over. It was lighter than she'd expected. Chloe had never handled a dildo before, but given how thick it had looked on the website she had certainly expected it to be heavy.
Back in her halls bedroom, she used the tip of a pen to slice the parcel tape on the package. Within the plain brown outer box was another cardboard carton -- this one rather more garish. She hacked open the tape on this as well.
As she wrestled with the packaging, Chloe realised that she was actually breathless with excitement. Her fingers were clumsy, her heart beating quick and strong. And all over... what... a dildo? A lifeless toy?